This is a transcribed copy of the Helluva Boss pilot. Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
[The scene opens with a shot of Imp City that slowly zooms in on the I.M.P building. The sound of the busy streets can be heard in the background. The scene transitions to a closed door labeled "IMP Headquarters", with a crude sign made from a sheet of notebook paper that reads, "Meeting in progress" with a smiley face drawn next to it. The light flickers as the camera zooms in on the door. Inside, Blitzo is walking in front a whiteboard on the wall as he lectures his employees.]
Blitzo: Alright. Now, I know business has been... a bit slow lately, yes. It's no one's fault, okay? I'm not naming any names here... *looks at Moxxie* Moxxie.
[Moxxie gives him an incredulous look in response.]
Blitzo: Now, does anyone have... any bright ideas on how we can get business drummin' up again?
Millie: *eyes sparkling* What about a car wash?
Blitzo: This is Hell, Millie. No one cares about cars being clean here, okay? *thinks for a second* Wh- Ooh! What about a billboard?
[He waves his hands with an enthusiastic flair as sparkles fly out.]
Moxxie: *rolls eyes* We can't afford a billboard, sir.
Blitzo: *wraps his arm over Moxxie's shoulder* Helpful, Moxxie. Really glad you're in the room right now. *pushes Moxxie away* Have you guys forgotten what service we provide?
[Blitzo turns on a TV that shows the I.M.P. crew brutally murdering people from the overworld as they are paid to do. Blitzo whacks a man in the face with a mallet, Moxxie is blown away firing a shotgun through the mouth of a man tied to a chair, Loona swings a man back and forth in her mouth, and Millie decapitates someone with a harpoon and laughs. Then, it zooms out to everyone watching the TV, with Loona, Millie, and Blitzo eating popcorn.]
Blitzo: Ahh, those were the good times.
Moxxie: I don't need any reminding, sir. Considering you blew most of our salaries on an obnoxious TV ad last week. One that you then additionally paid to have run for a full three hours on a channel... nobody watches.
Blitzo: Uh, hey. Excuse me? What's "obnoxious" about a super-fun jingle, alright? It's a fun distraction when an advertisement's spittin' bullshit!
Millie: People love musicals, sir.
Blitzo: Exactly, Millie! And we're basically doin' a musical. *does jazz hands* Are you gonna crush my musical theatre dreams like my dad did?
Moxxie: Sir--
Blitzo:
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