Been stuck in a loop for awhile, now. There doesn't seem to be any way out. Some messed up shit happened that dredged up some stuff from my past. Seems that no matter what I do, I end up screwing things up even worse. Pushed away every decent person I had out of fear of hurting them or them hurting me and, now, all I'm left with is the people who don't actually care and are only using me for their benefit. A lot of my old psychological problems are starting to come back and that isn't helping anything. And, of couse, if I try to talk about it, nobody will listen because their problems are more important and mine are irrelevant because they went through "worse" at my age. They're always bitching and complaining about their problems and their traumas but I say so much as "boo" and I get whacked upside the head. I wouldn't be surprised if I have a broken rib or something.
