make her EVEN MORE PISSED OFF THAN SHE USUALLY IS

Saike: your fathers dead in a pit

Phantasm: *sob* What the f**k, that isn’t even funny, just messed up…

Saike: ..which means we could find him easier

Phantasm: *still sobbing* MY NUMBER ONE GOAL IN LIFE IS TO FIND MY PARENTS, ALIVE

Saike: hey I’m alive right

Phantasm: Just- just leave me alone…

Saike: alright

Im gonna go look for your dad tho

Phantasm: Can I come?

Saike: sure ig

Phantasm: Thank you

*opens a portal to hell*

Phantasm: …*sputter* You-

YOU SERIOUSLY EXPECT HIM TO GO TO HELL?!?!

Saike: I mean it’s one third of the places he could be

Phantasm: *sob*

Saike: hey hey, I bet he’s still alive

Phantasm: I don’t think you understand how much it means to me that he could be alive

Saike: he probably is

He’s really strong

Phantasm: Thanks, I guess.

Saike: Anyways I’ll look in hell for a bit

Phantasm: …ugh.

You seem nice, even though you’re a dick about this

Saike: well if I don’t find him he’s either alive or having eternal happiness

Blook: "Wanna go shoot Ultradude with me?"

Phantasm: Why do you even want to do that so badly

Blook: "How about Phantom?"
(CUT)
*Take 2*
Blook: "How about Saike?"

Phantasm: No…

Saike: yea shoot me!

Phantasm: Just no…

Saike: do it

Phantasm: I respect you too much to do that

Saike: do it, now

Phantasm: I SAID NO

Saike: fine

*grabs a gun*

*Leather casually tells her every roast in the book.*

Phantasm: Weak.

Leather: "Ok."

Reddit Cam: You like flares?

Phantasm: …like the red glowy thingies?

Reddit Cam: Well, they're a majority of colors, but I primarily carry UV flares, despite me not needing them anymore.

Phantasm: Cool.

How is that supposed to piss me off?

Reddit Cam: I don't know. But I still mistake them for Dynamite sticks when I practice throwing them. Imma just throw one of these and show you some UV action.
*Reddit Cam grabs a 'Flare', pulls the cover off and lights the wick and throws it.*

Phantasm: Cool

*A Merc throws the flare back at Reddit Cam with barely any of its wick left.*
Reddit Cam: HOLY-
*The dynamite goes off right next to him.*

Phantasm: That wasn’t a flare.

*Reddit Cam is coughing intensely, and he's covered in blood when the smoke clears.*
Reddit Cam: GEE, спасибо за это, не могу сказать.

Phantasm: Uh huh.

Reddit Cam: Я пойду, пока я не истек кровью.
*Reddit Cam limps away.*

Impulse: *actively projecting thoughts through telepathy*

Phantasm: Well, you did a REALLY f**king good job. Now please stop it or i’ll kick your face in.

Impulse: O-okay!

Phantasm: …sorry

Impulse: I-it’s fine. I was just caught a little off guard.

Phantasm: Heh, sorry I just snap at people easily

Impulse: It’s good.

(Mission completed)

Phantasm: …

(what thoughts)

(Dino Nuggets Nuggets Nuggets Nuggets Nuggets) (*horrible songs*)

Phantasm: Jesus, you like chicken nuggets don’t you

Impulse: (Oh god she’s ho-

rrible) (*skibidi toilet plays*)

Phantasm: …

(COCK AND BALL TORTURE)
(Amber gets creampied (gone sexual) (not clickbait))
(Spaghetti)
(Series of phrases from the internet including “fatherless”, and “unalive”)

Phantasm: …ew

(*porn audio*) (*Andrew Tate*) (*memories from clients in therapy*) (*tumblr memes*) (*twitter memes*)

Phantasm: *taps Impulse on shoulder*

Dude, you okay or something?

Impulse: Hm? Oh, yeah. Somebody told me to broadcast annoying thoughts to everyone within a 1000 foot radius so I did.