I mean if you have problems making friends, it’s not (at least fully) your fault. Everyone should have a friend (except politicians, pedos, murderers, etc.)
You deserve kindness. It seems you don’t get enough.
Also my one friend is autistic. He’s pretty normal, and he’s smart, but I think he sprays himself with “mentally stable people” repellent every morning.
Antisocial, as in actively harming relationships, and being completely against interaction, or do you mean asocial? Which is when you just don’t talk to people.