done with commands

Oh?

Yeah.

I know you can do it with pillagers if you break their crossbow

This uses teams. Let's call the team "Pucus" and say that you're tame a vindicator

Step 1: Use this command --> /team add Pucus
Step 2: Spawn a vindicator
Step 3: Use this command --> /team join @e[type=vindicator] Pucus

Now go near your vindicator in Survival mode.