As the Final Game Approached Halftime
with Her Team Down 40 to 0, Having
Won No Games All Season, Young
Danika, Known for Her Positivity and
Patience, Capitulated to Disappointment
and Decided to Activate an Airlift Mode
After She Jumped, Which No One Knew
She Had, Until She Disappeared into the
Heavens. The Only Thing That Earthlings
Ever Heard from Her After Her Departure
Came Years Later Via One UFO Billboard
Imposed Upon Earth's Atmosphere by Her; Official Messengers: "Hey All. It's Danika.
Even Though I Neglected to Pack a Sack
Lunch When I Left Earth, Even Though I
Bumped My Helmetless Head Against
the Moon When I Bailed, I'm Doing Well.
It's Weird Though: The 'People' on My New
Planet Refuse to Play or Even Watch Foot-
ball. They Say the Name -Football- Makes
No Sense in America, and That Soccer Flo-
ppers Are a Total Turnoff Too. Whateva. Gotta
Run--Er, Lift. Love Ya, Your Daneeks P.S. Maybe
I Shouldn't Have Trusted Van Halen So Much."; Life After Conquering Gravity; OzwinEVCG
