If you look at the sky (only in Winter, so be quick !) You can see a constellation like this:
.‎
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ .
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ .‎ ‎ .‎ ‎ .
‎
.
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ .

If is the lyre of Orion if I remember the name right, and the upper left red star may enter in supernova this century.
It's name is "Bételgeuse" in French, and it'll be nearly as bright as the full moon for 2 months !

at the moment is so much cold, i don't want to freeze out on balcony, lol

Oof

lol

anyway when you look at the sky, you think about a driving force that maybe could made all of this, and maybe it was god, no one has certains, we are just humans, and no one knows the truth about the secrets of God and the universe, but it's what i feel when i look at the sky

I mean that's what I'm going to try to explain in my future job.
Physics are amazing

you want to go to college after school?

jeez... i didn't do it, i have just a diploma
but believe me i was tired of studying... i studied for about 14 years, i was just tired, so after 2021 i stopped. Now people point their finger to me and they said to me "YOU DON'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING, YOU'RE A FAILURE"

after 14 years of sufferings... this hurts

now i have also a drive license, you see me as a failure Ed? be honest...

No ? You seems like a great person to talk to.

Let's be honest, I don't really care about the "oh you have diploma and stuff". It's extra knowledge, ofc, but it doesn't really matter when you meet new people.

And honestly, I'm happy you got your driving license. I still didn't get mine, by fear ? By laziness? Idk. Maybe both.

And really? You graduated, you did a great job at getting alot of jobs available for you. Be proud of yourself, it's a big moment of your live !

I wanna do college because it's the only way to go where I wanna go. And to be fully honest with you, idk if I can handle another job, so it's kinda my only chance.
College aren't for everyone, not only because usually they are specialized in some narrow fields, but also because they actively try to filter the people getting in.
Idk if I'll succeed, or fail, but I'm trying my best to pull though.

Someone said "failing isn't the act to fall down, but to not get up" or something similar idk my memory is more than inaccurate.
And you don't really seems deep down. You graduated! Next step is extra-learning or a job, which is tricky in this awful system that rarifies them more and more.

As long as you're doing your best to reach your project, you aren't falling. You are going up.

Thanks... At the moment i feel without energy and i don't still have this desire to throw myself into something new... In future i will try my best with a shop...

maybe it is this apathy of mine that bring people to think this, but it's that during the period between 2021/2022/2023 i lost the compass of time and the desire to throw myself into something new. But my plans is to open a shop on future... or to become a cop like my father, but maybe this second one is more difficult to realize