I hate this stupid job

so i was thinking about our recent convo and i realized
i can't just hold in my emotions like that
that would be like really bad for me
but at the same time i don't want to be constantly spiraling
so i don't know what to f**king DO
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

NO
YOU
ARE
NOT

YOU'RE FINE

I'M LITERALLY NOT THOUGH
THIS WHOLE THING IS HAPPENING BECAUSE I TWISTED A NEGATIVE REACTION OUT OF SOMETHING GOOD THAT HAPPENED TO YOU
YOU JUST WANTED TO TELL ME ABOUT HOW GOOD YOUR DAY WAS AND I F**KING RUINED IT

I should have thought ahead
I struggle with that

it seriously wasn't your fault

you literally only wanted to tell me about something cool you did and i acted all selfish about it
i seriously do not understand how and why you don't hate my guts

Because you're my friend
You're my best friend
You always are and have been there for me

and yet i constantly tear you down and make you feel bad
i'm a terrible friend and we both know that

No you AREN'T don't you DARE say that about yourself

IF I WAS EVEN AN OKAY FRIEND WE WOULDN'T BE IN THIS SITUATION.

that's a LIE
even the BEST FRIENDS MAKE MISTAKES
WHETHER SMALL OR BIG

JUST ACCEPT THAT I'M IN THE WRONG

Solution
When your emotions are very serious and very important
Then you speak up

the only thing i can think to do is leave this place
i don't want to do it but it's like the only way i can avoid dragging you down while also not holding in my emotions

NO NONO THAT'S OUT OF THE QUESTION
that would devastate me worse than anything you could say to me

I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO

DON'T LEAVE PLEASE THAT WOULD HURT AS MUCH AS LOSING EVERYONE I CARE ABOUT

I WON'T
I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW ELSE TO WORK THIS OUT

I don't either :(

i shouldn't have said a f**king word to begin with
i should have just said "nice" and held in my feelings
but my dumbass thought it was a good idea to NOT do that

No, holding it in is unhealthy

i still should have just kept my mouth shut

but like
even the little things
i just CAN'T hold them in
but i don't want to drag you down
i can't figure out what to do and i feel like i'm gonna break down

I'm sorry
Do what you see fit

BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT I SEE FIT

I'm sorry, I don't know what to say
Just so you know, it doesn't make me so absolutely devastated when I make you feel bad (not as in I feel know remorse but you know what I mean)

i know, i have serious emotional issues

I understand
It is fine

probably attachment issues
definitely some kind of overreacting issues
overall sensitivity
yeah there's a lot of shit wrong with me lmao

Same here
I am a lot different in real life

dude i'm genuinely sorry that i'm the way i am

like i genuinely apologize for being a pussy

Ah boneworks

hey what's this blue thumb drive