Keep Digging That Hole, Joe

I PERSONALLY FOUGHT WITH HITLER AGAINST THE NAZIS AT THE BATTLE OF LEXINGTON AND CONCORD IN ORDER TO FREE THE SLAVES AND HOW DARE YOU ASK ME ABOUT MY SON HUNTER, COME ON MAN, MY SON DIED IN BATTLE AND I WEAR HIS ARM BAND FROM OUR LADY OF... UM... ANYWAY, I HANDLED CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS JUST FINE, IT'S MY STAFF THAT MESSED UP, THEY KEPT STOPPING BY MY HOUSE, USING MY GARAGE, I DON'T KNOW... HOLD ON, WHAT TIME IS IT? I'M THE MOST QUALIFIED PERSON TO BE PRESIDENT