many people have misconceptions of Jihad because of what the media tells people. in Islam the greatest jihad is actually struggle within yourself. internal conflict is greater than external conflict in Jihad.
did you ever have a cringe phase? if so, what type of cringe was it, and how bad was it on a scale of 1-10? I won't judge, unfortunately I had my cringe phase too...
(I'm actually still having it help)