God I f**king hate Olaf the snowman so f**king much holy shit. Holy shit, every frame he's in, every scene, every gif, every jpeg, he's got this painfully vacant, stupid as shit, f**kass look on his stupid lumpy face. Absolutely no part of his ugly as sin piece of shit character design is endearing. His stupid f**king legs? Who the hell makes a snowman with legs. His dumb flaily f**king twig arms? His shitty, lumpy bastard head? The three thousand percent unnecessary dumbass shitass f**king SNOW BUCK TOOTH that no snowman has EVER F**KING HAD IN tHE HISTORY OF GOD'S GREEN F**KING EARTH? God, I hate him. I hate him so much. So F**KING much. Every time I see a stuffed toy Olaf or an Olaf gif or a shitty go***mn commercial, it ignites my primal rage response and I'm overcome by the need to punt this shitty little homunculus into the f**king sun. "Bhurr blur, I'm Olaf the f**kshit snow f**ker, I like warm hugs". F**k you. F**k you f**k you f**k you f**k you f**k you. You look like Tow Mater summoned a patronus. Your dumb f**king twig hair makes your whole shitty head look like a hairy skin tag. I hate your dumb f**king lumpy carrot nose and your stupid, empty googly eyes and your over-the-top goofy ass upbeat asshole personality. Any scene he's sad it invokes all the wrath and fury of a spoiled child having a meltdown over a chocolate bar in a w*lmart checkout line. And I know its irrational. That's the worst part. I know he's just a shitty f**king side character in a stupid f**king children's movie, I know it doesn't matter, I know I shouldn't care. But that's part of the problem. The part where no matter the might and fury of my hatred, the locus of my homicidal intent is alltogether inconsequential. I find myself laying awake in the dark in the early hours of the morning consumed by the spirit of Wrath itself, all the force and might of a flaming hurricane directed at a bottle of piss in a ditch by the highway. The absurdity of it all burns me to my core. What better things could this energy be directed towards? And yet my disdain for this stupid, useless, insubstantial failure of endearing character design utterly eclipses the intrigue of all other pursuits. I hate him. I hate him on a level of my mind reserved for the worst of the world's array of sinners, and I can't even begin to justify it. Shitstick the snow dick is, for all intents and purposes, the animated corpse of all of humanity's saccharine pretenses- every condescending, passive-aggressive sta
