teau: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat* fore: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cen

teau: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*
fore: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents
teau: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you
fife: Actually I did the math, fore would have $225, not $0.15.
fore: Fam I’m right here....
thrie: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)
teau: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?
thrie: Sorry I only have a dollar
teau: :(
fife: Hey I just realized my friend is right, fore would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent
thrie: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice
fife: You can buy anything you want with $22,500
nien: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice
fife: Apply juice to what
wuhn: Directly to the forehead
fore: Great chat everyone

another one
*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*
teau: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
Everyone:
fore: ...I did. I broke it.
teau: No. No you didn't. fife?
fife: Don't look at me. Look at thrie.
thrie: What?! I didn't break it.
fife: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
thrie: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
fife: Suspicious.
thrie: No, it's not!
nien: If it matters, probably not, but wuhn was the last one to use it.
wuhn: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
nien: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
wuhn: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, nien!
fore: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, teau.
teau: No! Who broke it!?
Everyone:
nien: teau... fife's been awfully quiet.
fife: rEALLY?!
*Everyone starts arguing*
teau, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.
teau: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
teau:
teau: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

yet another
teau: Dumbest scar stories, go!
fore: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.
fife: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it.
thrie: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.
nien: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn.
wuhn:
wuhn: I have emotional scars.

teau: Everyone, synchronize your watches.
fore: I don’t know how to do that!
fife: I don’t even wear a watch.
thrie: Time is a construct.

yet yet another
fore: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.
thrie: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!
teau: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!!
fife: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.
fore: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

teau: Why are your tongues purple?
fife: We had slushies. I had a blue one.
thrie: I had a red one.
teau: oh.
teau:
teau: OH
fore:
fore: You drank each other's slushies?