Part 9 - FINALE (in comments)

Supernova didn’t know what was happening to him, but he didn't care. All he knew was that the collective will of the universe has transformed him into the most powerful being inside of it. And he would use that power to beat the shit out of Interitus.

Interitus: W-what the hell?

Supernova swung a punch at him, and it hit much harder than normal. He didn’t even say anything, he was too determined to stop this machine. Interitus tried to strike back with a knife attached to his arm, but it got broken off. No matter what Interitus could do, he’d get countered somehow. The tables have turned.

MEANWHILE

Caelum: Augh… I feel like… I feel terrible.

Osore’s Head: You have to keep going. You can do it.

Caelum: I don’t know, man…

Osore’s Head: And if you don’t make it, i’ll give you 20 bucks once I revive you and make you an eternal member of my rapidly growing undead army.

Caelum: No deal.

Osore: Alrighty, then…

Caelum: Uhh… also, uhh, because of plot-related reasons, we’re here.

Osore: Okay, let’s get in.

???: Halt!

Osore: Who the hell…?

???: I am the magical tomb guardian that’s only here as a lazy deus ex machina character. Only the most whole-hearted, good-spirited can pass.

Osore: Welp, that leaves me out.

Caelum: Can’t I just come in? I’m literally you guys’s goddess!

???: False. I know the truth. You are only in your current position due to an artifact left by the gods.

Caelum: Uh, yeah, wouldn’t that mean that I was elected to become one?

???: You are still not pure-hearted. Your only reason to get inside this tomb is to save yourself, and you don’t have a history of good things, either. May I bring up that “act” of yours during the gift excha-

Caelum: It was that time of year, everyone was horny, how was I supposed to know he was your brother?!

???: You still need someone with better intentions.

Caelum: Fine.

Osore: Where the hell is Nova?

ALSO MEANWHILE

Supernova was tearing Interitus limb from limb.

Supernova: HOW DOES IT FEEL? HOW DOES IT FEEL GETTING A TASTE OF YOUR OWN MEDICINE? HUH?

Interitus: I-I-I do-on’t l-lik(static) it.

Supernova: That’s right! Yeah! Now piss off.

Interitus stood up using his remaining pieces of body, and activated the wings on his back.

Interitus: W-we wi(static) meet again.

He flew through the ceiling, leaving a trail of smoke in his wake. Rocks crumbled around Supernova as he coughed from the dust and smoke. Suddenly, he hear Caelum.

Caelum: Please! Get over here! We need you for something, and we don’t have much time!

Supernova: What is it? Is it a magical omniscient being preventing you from getting into the room where the torch is?

Caelum: Oddly specific considering it’s a guess, but correct.

Supernova: Okay, let’s go. How much time do we have left?

Caelum: 10 minutes, I think.

Supernova: No time to waste…

The two ran down the seemingly endless hallways. The halls were similar enough to drive one insane, while having enough variation to give you the sense that you’re going somewhere. The endless labyrinth of bricks, torches, rubble, and puddles seemed a lot more confusing to Caelum now. It’s like the labyrinth wanted Caelum to die.

Suddenly, Caelum stopped. She coughed violently, and went down on her knees.

Supernova: Holy- are you okay?

Caelum: Th… the magic is almost gone. Soon enough, time will have caught up with me.Go on without me, get in that room. (cough) I’m too weak to go on. I’ll stay here.

Supernova ran forth, and came across Osore lying on the ground.

Osore: Go ahead. I’m not allowed to go in.

Guardian: Are you of good intentions?

Supernova: Yes, I am, now may I please come in there? I’m trying to save someone.

Guardian: Very well.

Caelum, meanwhile was lying on the ground. She felt worse than ever before. Her limbs felt like jelly, and her head felt like it weighed a thousand pounds. Her hair had turned completely grey now, and her once elegant armor and clothing had been destroyed by the many battles she had faced on this adventure. She just hoped Supernova would not let her down. She hoped he wouldn’t let her down. She closed her eyes, hoping it would somehow ease the state of weakness she was in.

And when she opened them, Interitus was right in front of her.

Interitus: H-hello there.

Caelum: n… no… please, God, no…

Interitus: You’re a friend of Supernova’s, aren’t you?

Caelum: Just leave me be…

Interitus raised his sword. It was a matter of seconds before Caelum died, either to suddenly aging 2000 years or to the lunatic about to slice her down the middle. Caelum raised her hand in front of her face, hoping it would somehow, magically stop the attack. Interitus swung his blade. It was over.

Suddenly, Caelum felt a surge of energy. She felt something across her hand. It was the blade. Supernova must have done what he was told, and restarted the flame, giving Caelum her magic back. Knowing this, she got up, and punched Interitus right in the glass face head helmet thingy. The glass broke, and Interitus fell straight to the floor.

Not long after, Supernova came over, holding Osore’s head.

Supernova: Are you okay?

Caelum: Hah… i’m feeling better than before. I just saved your life, because you saved mine.

She held up Interitus’s head, and smiled.

Osore: Now what?

Supernova: I guess we should leave now.

Caelum: …okay.

Supernova: Alright, bye.

The two left.

Osore: Holy shit, that was awkward. No sentimental anything or stuff? You guys just left? Wow.

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Osore: Can someone put my head on the rest of my body?

Naked? :3

𝒩𝑜.

What

does she LOOK naked?

as in CRACKED you dirty minded c**t

I like how the characters realize how ridiculous their life is and are mildly breaking the fourth wall.