Your personality is like a black hole, sucking all the joy and happiness out of any room you enter. And don't even get me started on your looks. I've seen better-looking potatoes in the grocery store.
Honestly, I'm surprised your mirror hasn't shattered from the sheer horror of having to reflect your face every day. But I guess even mirrors have standards.
You know, I've always wondered what it must feel like to have a brain that functions at the level of a rock. Care to enlighten me? Or are you too busy trying to figure out how to tie your own shoelaces?
I bet your parents regret not using protection the night you were conceived. But hey, at least they can take comfort in the fact that they didn't create a successful human being, just a walking disappointment.
But hey, don't let me stop you from living your best life. Keep on pretending you're important and relevant. Maybe one day, someone will actually care. But until then, keep being the joke that everyone laughs at behind your back. It's what you do best.
