how good a user am i to you

sex

Where’s mine?

i got u

:D

get pranked

D:

We got bagels

-2.67

I hope you get so high you forget how to shit

i hope you never get high at all

I hope you accidentally wipe your face with the part of the towel you wiped on your balls

i hope you forget to get a new towel after you put the old one in the dirty clothes hamper

I hope you turn into a beneficial mosquito in your next life

i hope you turn into a chinese kid so you can go work in one of elon musks lithium mines

I hope you turn into a water bottle, and then get recycled into a d**do

dont threaten me with a good time....

i hope you turn into a d**do that grandmas pass around

I hope you end up being MY d**do

damn idk how to counter that

I hope your socks don’t dry right in the dryer so you have to survive the whole day in slightly soggy socks

i hope you accidentally touch a lightbuld

bulb*

I hope your dick falls off into the toilet and you have to fetch it with your bare hands

i hope your sink clogs and you cant repair it

I hope road construction starts from across your house for a week

i hope you accidentally walk into wet concrete with a pair of 200 dolar jordan 4's

dollar*

I hope you accidentally follow me and set yourself up for failure

i hope may father follows you and makes you feel uncomfortable

my*

I hope you jokingly throw a fake grenade at someone you love, only to find out it was real

i hope you throw a real one during a war, only to be sieged still

I hope you walk down the stairs without looking at what you’re doing, and once you reach the bottom you take another step expecting more stairs, but instead your foot touches the floor, leaving you confused

i hope your alarm clock goes off an hour to early

I hope you accidentally drink curdled milk

i hope you make a milkshake with expired ice-cream

I hope you find your new favorite song on spotify, only for it to be interrupted by an ad and then crash

jokes on you i dont use spotify

i hope you bend a bendy-pencil to far and snap it on accident

I hope you forget to wipe and it crusts

i hope you forget to flush so it stains the walls with a shitty smell

I hope you slip on your shit while doing a waffle stomp

i hope you accidentally break a candy-cane while opening it

I hope you stub your toe on a quickly closing old wooden door

i hope someone puts a heating pad inside of your pillow and turns it on the max setting

I hope you put on a sock and it gets snagged on a sharp nail

i hope on of your table legs snaps in half during the time you eat dinner

I hope you sleep horribly tonight and wake up at 2 am, thirsty but too tired to get a drink

lmao thats every night for me, anyways....

i hope you buy something expensive, only for it to be a fake product

I hope you buy an expensive container of strawberries and then eat an entire strawberry a day later, only to find out there was a bunch of mold in the container a few minutes later

i hope your school backpack rips at the bottom, dropping all of your possessions and school papers on the floor for everyone to see

MY WORD! I hope you have a dry brunch with soggy biscuits!

i hope you drop your phone face-flat on a concrete floor

Btw rip

yeah it sucks