Trying to escape during a family reunion:
Some random baby sleeping in my bed: *Slap*
My blind uncle : Now what did I just see?
Me: *Smack*
Also me : *Turns into goldfish and escapes*
The shrimp on the wall : ):o
therapist: "stop it, get some help"
me: "wtf you literally are the help what are you talking about"
my friend watching me talk to a wall(again): *facepalm
