regret noises

What
Are you good

yesn't

Okay, do you want to talk about it?

its just a little bit of trauma, my dad being dead and not having seen my family in about 12 years

I'm so sorry, that's an awful thing for anyone to go through

I can't promise that things will get better but I hope they do
You don't deserve that amount of suffering

its been so bad ive lost the ability to feel empathy for some people

I completely understand why, it's a fairly common trauma responce.
You would benefit from therapy, but don't do it unless you truly feel you're ready to heal.

i've decided on my life's outcome
i dont plan living past 35-40

There are good things, bad things, and neutral things in this world.
As someone who understands mental health strughles as much as anyone else, you should do is put yourself out there as much as it feels right for you.
Maybe try to talk positively to yourself even if you don't believe it, or think about things you like.
Smiling also releases the "happy chemical" in the brain, so even when it's a fake smile it can eventually improve yoir mood even slightly.

wow, thank you

I'm here to help

bro
seek help

maybe i dont want to