Pre-Christmas NBA hoops don’t draw in the dollars. How can we shake up the start of next season? Thou art a fool, brother Jayden! And Madison, dost thou propose a “round-robin?” Verily thou art a “bird-brain!” A tournament in November? Nay! We’ll have multicolored courts, a round-robin format and Semifinals and the Final in Vegas! An In-Season Tournament, like they do in soccer leagues! I would I were the master of the league schedule, the regular season wouldst commence on that apogee of the Yuletide, that hallowed Day of Christmas. May the NFL owners, those avaricious knaves, take heed! And henceforth the Finals shalt proceed in the sultry month of July, betwixt baseball’s All-Star Game and the opening of training camp, ere the NFL pre-season becometh…; I crieth on this day, I dieth on the morrow! BECOMETH WHAT, SHAKESPEARE?
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