How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can't remember what that thing was? If James Bond is the most famous spy, wouldn't that also make him the worst spy? Crabs probably think that fish can fly. Your first birthday is technically your second birthday. I wonder what my dog named me. Fire trucks are really water trucks.
Bean bags are just boneless sofas. Math is the only place where someone would buy 60 watermelons and 40 cantaloupes, and no one asks any questions. In order to fall asleep, we have to pretend to be asleep. Which orange came first – the color, or the fruit? If tomatoes are fruit, then ketchup is jam. Clapping your hands is just high-fiving yourself. Teeth are the only problem where if you ignore them, they will go away. Are those who sneeze a lot the most blessed? Maybe urinals were invented when a tall guy walked by the sinks and asked, "Why not?" When you give someone food, you're feeding them. But when you give them water, you aren't watering them. The sinking of the Titanic must have been a miracle to the lobsters in the kitchen. Having a toddler in their "Why?" phase makes you realize how much you know and don't know about things. You may have once made a decision that saved your life without knowing it. If money is at the root of all evil, then why do churches ask for it? People cover their laptop cameras for fear of hackers, but never their phone cameras. You've never seen your own face before – only in pictures and reflections. You only have 1 birthday, the rest are congratulations for surviving each year. Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience. Alcohol is a depressant, but clubs and bars are designed for people to be lively and energetic. Brushing our teeth is the closest we ever come to cleaning our skeleton. Why do people say "tuna fish," but they don't say "chicken bird"? Whoever created the tradition of not seeing the bride in the dress before the wedding saved husbands everywhere from hours of dress shopping. Captain Hook is actually trying to stop Peter Pan from kidnapping children.
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