Oi, new kids! And so you think you're able To survive this mess by being a prince or a princess You will soon see There's no escaping tragedy And even If you put in heaps of effort You're just wasting energy 'Cause your life as you know it is ancient history I have suffered in this jail I've been trapped inside this cage for ages This living 'ell! But if I try I can remember Back before my life had ended Before my happy days were over Before I first heard the peeling of the bell Like you, I was curious! So innocent, I asked a thousand questions But unless you want to suffer Listen up and I will teach you A thing or two You listen here, my dear You'll be punished so severely if you step out of line and if you cry it will be double You should stay out of trouble and remember to be extremely careful Why? (Why!?) Why? Did you hear what we said!? Just you wait for Phys-Ed! What's Phys-Ed? Physical education The Trunchbull Speciality Who are you? We're prefects, we're here to take you to class So we're going to start learning? Oh, you'll start learning, alright Great, I already know the alphabet! You don't know the alphabet until we learn you the alphabet And so you think you're able To survive this mess by being a prince or a princess, you will soon see There's no escaping tragedy And even If you put in heaps of effort You're just wasting energy 'Cause your life as you know it is ancient history I have suffered in this jail I've been trapped inside this cage for ages This living 'ell! But if I try I can remember Back before my life had ended Before my happy days were over Before I first heard the peeling of the bell Like you, I was curious So innocent, I asked a thousand questions But unless you want to suffer Listen up and I will teach you A thing or two You listen here, my dear You'll be punished so severely if you step out of line and if you cry it will be double You should stay out of trouble and remember to be extremely careful Why? (Why!?) Why? Didn't you hear what we said!? I have become aware that some of you are not yet in class Correct this, you have five seconds to comply A, B, C, D, E, F, G (five) H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P (four!) Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X (three) Y, Y, Y, Y, Y, Y, Y (two) Lavender, Matilda, inside, quick! (One) Just you wait for Phys-Ed