I know you've probably heard this a hundred times but please don't sh hurting yourself gets you no where but an early grave and trust me it not may seem like it but life does get better and there will be things you want to experience they may not happen immediately but someday they will you just have to be patient and have a will to live and I know it may be hard to find reasons to be happy or want to live but trust me they're there you just have to look for them but like I said it takes time