Ok. Let's go over this one more time. My name is P**is Parker. I'm from Earth- 720 and I was your friendly neighborhood pervert, until one day a radioactive spider bit me on the dick. Ever since then, I've gotten the ability to shoot webs out of my dick, and gained the stealth, rizz and Stamina of a spider. So for the past 5 years, I've been New York's Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Sex Offender.