Description Of Heaven

THE BEST PART OF THE BIBLE IS THE BOOK OF REVELATIONS, WHERE HEAVEN IS ACTUALLY DESCRIBED. IMAGINE A REALLY SHITTY AMUSEMENT PARK WITH AN HOURLY FLOOR SHOW, EXCEPT THERE'S NO SEATING, MANDATORY AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION IN THE FORM OF CHANTING THE SAME WORD OVER AND OVER, AND THE BIG FINISH IS THAT A BUNCH OF HEBREW ELDERS STAND UP, CAST DOWN THEIR CROWNS, SCEPTERS, AND RINGS, AND THEN ALSO START CHANTING THE SAME WORD OVER AND OVER, WHILE FOUR CHIMERAS RESTING ON PEDESTALS REAR UP AND (YOU GUESSED IT) START CHANTING THE SAME WORD TOO, ALL TO ENTERTAIN THE CENTERPIECE OF THE SHOW: GOD SITTING ON HIS THRONE WATCHING THE ENSLAVED AUDIENCE WORSHIP IN HIS GENERAL DIRECTION UNDER PENALTY OF ETERNAL TORTURE. AT WHICH POINT, ONE ASSUMES, THE CHIMERAS GO BACK TO SLEEP AND THE ELDERS BEND DOWN AND PICK UP THEIR JEWELRY TO PREPARE FOR NEXT HOUR'S PERFORMANCE, AND THE HEAVENLY AUDIENCE GETS TO KEEP CHANTING. FOREVER. GEE, WHERE CAN I SIGN UP FOR THAT SOUL-CRUSHING MONOTONY? AND WHILE I TOOK LIBERTIES WITH REVELATIONS CHAPTER 4, I MADE IT SOUND SIMULTANEOUSLY BETTER AND WORSE IN PARTS THAN IT ACTUALLY IS WRITTEN. SO YEAH. FREEDUMB. YOU GET TO FREELY ENGAGE IN MANDATORY TORTURE FOREVER FOR THE "GOOD GUY" OF THE BIBLE, AND IF YOU REJECT THAT LOVELY OPTION, YOU GET TO GO HANG OUT WITH INTERESTING PEOPLE WHO AREN'T SANCTIMONIOUS PRICKS INSTEAD. GOOD THING THE WHOLE THING IS MADE UP. I CAN'T IMAGINE A WORSE WAY OF TORTURING PEOPLE. I'M SIMPLY NOT AS SADISTIC AS THEISTS.