i might have to bury my stuffed plushy child, a pig in a bee costumed named Thomas

and burn all of my papers with anything l'manbug related
and unfollow/unsub everybody on twitch/yt

Nihonium i'm not okay

I get it. The Dsmp shutting down also affected me pretty hard. If your really hurting over it (which is totally a valid feeling I’m not demeaning it) definitely reach out to some one. Internalizing emotions, especially negative ones, is never a good idea. I know when it shut down for me, I felt like I part of my identity disappeared. So maybe consider why your hurting and address that issue (if you feel like me, like part of your identity disappeared remember you aren’t defined by your hobbies). And never forget that you do matter to people, like your family, friends, and all the rest of us Dsmp fans.

wow i meant that as like a joke but-
wow
thank you
i do feel like a piece of me has disappeared
but like i don't wanna tell anyone because i'm afraid they'll laugh at me for it

That is a valid concern, the last part about people laughing at you. Not sure if you’ve noticed, but for whatever reason people seem to reaaallly hate the Dsmp community. I’ve encountered that before and been (to some degree) bullied for it irl. I’ll say just because some other losers hate it doesn’t make it intrinsically bad and doesn’t make you lame/pathetic or whatever people around you label you. It is also a real feeling, that we feel like a part of us is gone because the Dsmp community was a bit more than a fandom in the way that the COD fandom is. We connected to each other and formed friendships around that storyline. Fan made songs about the characters and cannon events found their ways into our heads and the whole story lived rent free in our heads more so than other fandoms (at least for me it did). It’s a natural feeling for it to hurt to watch it go, especially with technoblade death making it worse, and seemingly the whole internet celebrating its demise. But like I said just remember that our identities never were and never are defined by our hobbies

Yeah, I've definitely noticed
i don't know what else to say, but thank you :]
if you ever need to talk i'll be here