What the hell is that on my radar?
Is that? Oh- It’s a SU-57. I mistaken you for being a bomber, since you’re so go***mn huge for a stealth fighter. You really think you’re able to hide from radar flying around in that city block of an aircraft.
You wanna know what the 57 means? It’s the area code given to it because it’s a f**king giant. You’re so go***mn big that you make the F-22 Raptor look like a Honda Civic next to an F-250 Super Duty on a lift kit.
Oh it’s a 5th gen. fighter like in the Tom Cruise movie? Wow that’s really cool, like that matters when an AIM-120 is rapidly approaching to your exact position, pull that one dumbass move from the movie, you may dodge one missile with that, but you can’t dodge this 20mm going straight into your cockpit.
Tell your airbase to send more 57s to your position… oh wait- that’s right, there are only 21 of you in the world, and they can’t risk sending more 57s out because you’re so go***mn expensive. Meaning you’re all alone. No allies, no friends, and most of all no bitches.
It took you 10 years to get from first flight in 2010 to being in the Russian Air Force in 2020, and even then you haven’t seen shit. The Raptor did it in 8 years, and it’s introduction was back in 2005. You’re already outdated, and should move on with your pathetic existence.
The only way for you to truly be a stealth fighter is to not exist at all. Go back to your hangar, and stay on the ground so that way I can’t see you, and then you can do what you were built for…
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