"IN RECENT YEARS, WE’VE WASTED FAR TOO MUCH TIME EXPLAINING THAT SATANISM HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH KIDNAPPING, DRUG ABUSE, CHILD MOLESTATION, ANIMAL OR CHILD SACRIFICE, OR ANY NUMBER OF OTHER ACTS THAT IDIOTS, HYSTERICS OR OPPORTUNISTS WOULD LIKE TO CREDIT US WITH. SATANISM IS A LIFE-LOVING, RATIONAL PHILOSOPHY THAT MILLIONS OF PEOPLE ADHERE TO."; - OFFICIAL FROM THE CHURCH OF SATAN