Limitless Reaper vs. Ripper of Worlds battle story

The Limitless Reaper was having a slow day. He had failed to destroy the Dirkalfs because the Limitless Defender and Limitless Devourer just HAD to show up on Saltu as well. That was weeks ago, but the Limitless still felt humilated by it. So he decided to just stay in his cave on a remote planet for the next few days.

But of course, that got ruined too.

He heard a whoosh as an all too familiar jet landed outside. Soon, that annoying little girl Bianca Sanchez - AKA Candystripe - was walking into his cave.

Limitless Reaper: Grrr!? (translation: what do you want?)
Candystripe: Hold on, let me change to fox form so I can understand you.

Candystripe shifted into her Arctic fox body, then faced the Limitless Reaper again.

CS (in the Reaper's language): I need your help.
LR: No. You are literally the prime minister of the one homeworld I haven't destroyed yet.
CS: Well every homeworld is going to be destroyed if you don't help us.
LR: What do you mean?
CS: You know the Ripper of Worlds, the Limitless species that lives in the dead universe?
LR: Barely.
CS: Well he's currently trying to break out of the portal between the multiverse and the Dead Universe. If he escapes, then you can bid "Arrivederci" to life as we know it. Those claws will turn every other universe into uncanny replicas of the Dead Universe.
LR: And what's in this for me?
CS: Well, if the Ripper destroys every homeworld before you ever get a chance to...
LR: Say no more! I'm helping, but only so that Ripper doesn't beat me to destroying every species!
CS: Sounds good to me, I guess. Come on, I'll lead you to the portal.

She hopped back in the Candy Crane and flew out of the atmosphere. The Reaper leapt into the air and followed her.

Soon, Candystripe had led the Limitless Reaper to the portal, a couple lightyears away from the Citadel. The Citadel's defense forces were already teaming up with the Army of Saltu to blast the portal. The Reaper could already see the Ripper's claws tearing through the portal.

Ripper of Worlds: Y0U F00L5! 1 4M 1N3V1T48L3!!!!!
Candystripe: Ciao, friends! Backup is here!
Captain Shade over the radio: You brought the Limitless Reaper here? What the heck were you thinking?!
Limitless Reaper: Rawrrr! (translation: I'm here to help you, idiotic elf.)
Cap.S: what did he just say?
CS: Uhh... he said he was going to help fight off the Ripper of Worlds.
LR: GRR. (translation: I'm going in)

The Reaper dove towards the portal, ramming right into one of the Ripper's claws with so much force that it snapped clean off.

Ripper: 0W!!!!! TH4T HURT5!!!!!!
Reaper: It's supposed to. Otherwise what would be the point of attacking you?

With a space finally cleared, the Limitless Reaper ducked inside the portal. He had to be careful not to run into a huge planet that appeared out of nowhere. He landed feetfirst on the surface and prepared to face the Ripper. And he didn't have to wait long - the Ripper landed on the surface, towering a boggling number of miles above him.

Ripper: Y0UR 4LL135 4R3 D00M3D. N0W Y0U 5H4LL F4C3 Y0UR D34TH!
Reaper: Right back at you.

The Limitless Reaper leaped into the air, then dive-bombed the Ripper in the chest. Enraged, the Ripper slashed back at the Reaper with a claw, leaving a large scar down the smaller Limtless' side. The Reaper retaliated by slashing the three claws on each of his four hands down the Ripper's side.

Reaper: Looks like we both gave each other nice souveneirs.
Ripper: 8UT 0NLY 0N3 0F U5 W1LL G3T T0 R3TURN W1TH TH3M!

The Ripper slammed one of his claws down towards the Reaper. But he ducked out of the way, causing the Ripper's claw to pierce the planet's crust instead. It exposed a large underground cavern, and the Reaper, seeing his chance, ducked down into the hole. He found himself inside a frigid ice cave, with icicles riddling the walls. The Ripper's claws came down again, tearing open the hole wider and allowing him to drop into the cave as well.

Ripper: Y0U M1GHT 45 W3LL G1V3 UP 4LR34DY. 1'M F4R B1GG3R TH4N Y0U!
Reaper: You say that like it somehow guarantees your victory.
Ripper: 4ND WHY W0ULD'NT 1T? 5123 15 4N 08V10U5 4DV4NT4G3!!!
Reaper: True, size is an advantage. But allies are too. CANDYSTRIPE, NOW!

The Candy Crane zipped down into the ice cavern, zipping right through the Ripper's crown of horns. The Ripper hadn't even noticed the F-22 following them into the Dead universe. Perfect, the Reaper thought with glee.

The jet circled around the cavern until Candystripe faced the Ripper of Worlds head-on.
Candystripe: Adios, sucka!
And with that, she unleashed the Candy Crane's entire missile magazine. But not at the Ripper of Worlds, but instead at the icicle-covered ceiling of the cavern. An avalanche of glacier bits rained down upon the Ripper, burying him underneath.
Reaper: Ironic. You destroyed this planet, and now it's destroyed you.
Ripper: H0W D4R3 Y0U 54Y 50M3TH1NG 50 TRU3!!!
Reaper: Good night... forever.

And with that, the Limitless Reaper slit his throat. The Ripper of Worlds was no more. The Reaper let out a piercing roar of victory that could even be heard through the portal.

Candystripe: Slick moves out there. Y'know, we make a pretty good team.
Limitless Reaper: If you expect me to say something like, "yeah, maybe having friends isn't such a bad thing after all!"
...Then you're wrong.

And having said that - or not having said that, the Reaper leapt out of the cavern, through the portal, and began the journey back to his planet.

Very good. An underrated masterpiece

I kinda think the Ripper's NUM83R 5P33CH became a bit incoherent near the end