Everyone's experience is different, but for me, my romanticism fluctuates occasionally. Sometimes I am very comfortable, "I don't need no romance! I'm strong and independent!!" And I'm content with the idea of being on my own. But on other days, I feel sad, that I won't get to experience romance, since it's something everyone talks about and seems to be a really fun and happy thing. I find myself desiring that close companionship, but not with anyone specifically.
I've never had a person in mind for these scenarios, it's all me and some hypothetical person.
And another thing, you could be an Oriented aromantic/asexual, like me. That orientation is sort of described as a third, secret attraction that I have no idea what it is, but I like you. Sort of.... *more* than aesthetics... but like.....
Okay so like, I freaking love girls. And in my imaginary scenarios, its always a girl or a fem enby. But its sort of like... Really really liking a movie? I want to watch it over and over and think about it and imagine and draw fanart and blah blah blah. You don't want to date or sex the movie, but you just really appreciate it in all of its beauty?
Sorry, this isn't making sense.
But basically, yeah, feeling like you're letting yourself down can be totally normal. Romance is so hyped up in our society that you can feel sad for not getting to experience it. But you can also learn to be happy, and okay with it.
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