Bible

THE BOOK OF LAW

Chapter 1

Dylan called out to Donald and said unto him, “I shall issue to the Imgflippers, that of a Terms of Service, so that ours does not become a hellhole of toxicity.”

“You shall take the finest webpage of which I have created for you, and you shall write what I say here upon said page. And then we shall put a link to these Terms for all users to agree to.”

Donald took the finest webpage of which the LORD Dylan had created and began to write the words he spoke.

“By using any services ("Services") provided by or originating from imgflip.com ("Imgflip"), you are agreeing to these terms. Please read them carefully, for I am Dylan, your creator.”

“Because some of our Services may be very specific, additional terms or product requirements (including age requirements) may apply. Additional terms will be available with the relevant Services, and those additional terms become part of your agreement with us if you use those Services, for I am Dylan, your creator.”

Chapter 2: The Commandments

And Dylan spoke aloud these words,

“I am Dylan Wenzlau, your creator, who brought you out of boredom and trauma in the real world, and from slavery of the vile Redditors.”

1 “You shall not worship any other site moderator before me.”

2 “You shall not spam. Spamming includes posting links exclusively to your own content or monetization, posting malware links, posting irrelevant content, posting lengthy or irrelevant "copypastas", and anything else that is clearly a detriment to the Imgflip community. Spam which is stylistic or just-for-fun such as copypastas is allowed in user-created streams if and only if the moderators of the streams explicitly allow it.”

3 “You shall follow the Conduct rules granted unto you by my prophet Donald. Imgflip is a place to be creative and have fun! While Imgflip highly values freedom of expression, please express your opinions in a way that is kind and respectful to all people of the world, or if stating your opinion does not follow these terms, please keep it to yourself or post it elsewhere. Memes, comments, or other images whose sole purpose is to attack a person or group of people in a condemning and non-humorous way are subject to deletion, and the user account that posted such content is also subject to deletion.”

4 “You shall not post pornographic content on this site. Imgflip is not a pornographic website.”

5 “You shall have achieved the age of 13 years before you use the services I have brought upon you.”

6 “You shall not blame me if your IP gets leaked, because we are not liable for any weird things you users make upon this site.”

7 “You shall follow the media guidelines I hereby set unto you. By uploading any type of media or other content (including but not limited to images, video, and audio) to Imgflip, or by pasting a url into the Imgflip GIF Maker or other Imgflip tools, you are agreeing that (i) doing so does not violate or infringe anyone else’s rights, (ii) you have the rights to use whatever content you are uploading or requesting, (iii) that you have the rights to modify that content in whichever ways you decide to modify it while using Imgflip, and (iv) if you make the original or edited content publicly available, other users of the Services can also use the content with the Service with no obligation to you.“

8 “Treat your fellow user as you yourself would like to be treated.”

THE BOOK OF GENESIS

Chapter 1

In the beginning, Imgflip was shapeless and empty, and darkness ran over the streams. And Dylan Wenzlau purchased the web domain and said, “Let there be light.” and there was light. Dylan saw that it was good, and separated the light from the darkness. And evening came, and morning came, the first day.

And Dylan said, “Let there be different streams upon this site, so that every user can have a stream of their own.” So Dylan made the first stream of a general type of meme-making. Dylan called the first stream, “fun”, and Dylan saw that it was good. And evening came, and morning came, the second day.

And Dylan said, “Let the users have an ability to create charts and GIFs on this site as well.” And it was so, and Dylan saw that it was good. And evening came, and morning came, the third day.

And Dylan said, “Let there be streams as well where users may discuss other interests.” And so he created them. Dylan called them, “gaming”, “cats”, and “sports”. And Dylan said, “Let users be able to create their own streams.”And it was so. And Dylan saw that they were good. And evening came, and morning came, the fourth day.

And Dylan said, “Let the fun stream teem with posts, and let comments fly in these posts so that users may share their opinions.” And it was so, and Dylan saw that it was good. And Dylan said, “Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the streams, and let the comments increase on the posts.” And evening came, and morning came, the fifth day.

And Dylan said, “Let us make userkind in our likeness, so they may rule over the posts in the streams and the comments on the posts.” So Dylan created userkind in his own image, in the image of Dylan he created them, male and female he created them. And evening came, and morning came, the sixth day.

Dylan looked at all he had created, and he saw it was very good. And so, on the seventh day, he rested, and reaped the cash rewards of his labor

Chapter 4

The two users had an ERP in memechat, and they invited a new user to the site, Cum. She said, “With the help of Dylan I have brought forth a user.“ Later, she invited another user, Apothem.

Now Apothem kept comments, and Cum worked the upvotes. In the course of time Cum brought some of the upvotes of his memes as an offering to Dylan. And Apothem also brought an offering—a comment from some of the firstborn of his comments. Dylan looked with favor on Apothem and his offering, but on Cum and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cum was very angry, and his profile was downcast.

Then Dylan said, “Why are you angry? Why is your profile downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, bans are crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”

Now Cum said to his friend Apothem, “Let’s go out to the gaming stream.” While they were in the gaming stream, Cum hacked into Apothem‘s account and deleted it.

Then Dylan said to Cum, “Where is Apothem?“

“I don’t know,” he replied. “Am I his keeper?”

And Dylan said, “What have you done? Listen! Apothem‘s appeal cries out to me from my email. Now you are under a curse and driven from the ground, which opened its mouth to receive your friend‘s blood from your hand. When you create memes, it will no longer get upvotes. You will be site-banned, and you will be a restless wanderer on Imgflip.“

Cum said to Dylan, “My punishment is more than I can bear. Today you are driving me from the site, and I will be hidden from your presence; I will be a restless wanderer on Imgflip and whoever finds me will harass me.”

But Dylan said to him, “No. Anyone who harasses Cum will be site-banned seven times over.” Then Dylan put a mark on Cum’s profile so that no one who found him would harass him. So Cum went out from Dylan’s presence and lived in the stream of cats, east of fun.

At that time people began to call on the name of the LORD Dylan.

Chapter 2

This is the account of Imgflip when it was created, and when Dylan Wenzlau created Imgflip.

Now no post had appeared yet on Imgflip, nor had any comment sprung from the streams, for the LORD Dylan had not sent users on the site, and there was no one to post, but streams came up from Imgflip and made the posting grounds fertile.

Then the LORD Dylan formed a user out of the ground and breathed into his profile the breath of life, and the user became a living being.

Now the LORD Dylan had created a stream in the east, the fun stream, and there he placed the user. Dylan made all kinds of templates grow out of the ground—templates that were pleasing to the eye and good for meme-making. In the middle of the garden were the template of life and the template of the knowledge of what is funny and unfunny.

Dylan took the user and put him in the fun stream to work it and make memes in it. And Dylan commanded the user, “You are free to use any template in the meme generator, but you must not use the template of the knowledge of funny and unfunny, for when you use it you will certainly be banned.”

But Dylan watched as the user made his memes, and saw that he was terribly alone. There were no comments and no posts except his own. And Dylan said, “It is not good for the user to be alone. I shall make other users suitable for him.”

And the LORD Dylan chloroformed the user, and took a discrete glance at his balls. Once he was satisfied, he took a piece from the profile of the user and closed up the place with a tagline. Then Dylan made a female user, and brought her to the male user. The male user said,

“That’s a woman?”

This is why no one on Imgflip believes that a user is a female until they do a face reveal.

The male user and the female user were both terribly unfunny, yet they felt no shame.

Chapter 3

Now the porn-poster was more crafty than any other user Dylan created. He said to the female user, “Did Dylan say you may not use any templates in the meme generator?”

The female user replied, “We may use the templates of the meme generator, but Dylan did say, ‘You must not use the template in the middle of the generator, for if you do you will be banned.”

The porn-poster said to the female user, “Dylan will not surely ban you! For he knows when you use it, you will be like him, knowing the difference between funny and unfunny.”

When the female user saw that the template was good for memes and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she created a meme out of it. She also gave the link to the male user, who was with her, and he used it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were unfunny; so they stopped posting in shame.

Then the users heard the sound of the LORD Dylan as he was looking in the stream, and they hid from the LORD Dylan among the templates of the generator. But Dylan called to the male user, “Where are you?”

He answered, “I saw you log on, and I was afraid because I was unfunny; so I hid.”

And Dylan said, “Who told you that you were unfunny? Have you used the template that I commanded you not to use?”

The user said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me the link to the template, and I used it.” Women ☕️

Then Dylan said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”

The woman said, “The porn-poster deceived me, and I used it.”

So Dylan put the porn-poster on a post ban, which expired 8 hours after his deed, and now the fun stream is very unfunny.

THE BOOK OF REDDITUS

Chapter 1

These are the names of the sons of Imgflip who went to Reddit with Raydog, each with his family: Ryan, Simian, Leaf and Jew, Issachar, Jebediah, and Benjamin; Danny and Narcotic; Garry and Ass. The descendants of Imgflip numbered seventy in all; Joey was already on Reddit.

Now Joey and all his brothers and all that generation left, but the Imgflippers were exceedingly fruitful; they multiplied greatly, increased in numbers and became so numerous that the internet was filled with them.

Then a new king, to whom Joey meant nothing, came to power on Reddit. “Look,” he said to his people, “the Imgflippers have become far too numerous for us. Come, we must deal shrewdly with them or they will become even more numerous and, if war breaks out, will join our enemies, fight against us and leave the website.”

So they put these cool slave masters over them to oppress them with forced meme generation, and they built r/memes and r/meme as store cities for Steve Huffman. But the more they were oppressed, the more they multiplied and spread; so the Redditors came to dread the Imgflippers and worked them ruthlessly. They made their lives bitter with harsh labor in upvote and downvote and with all kinds of work in the subreddits; in all their harsh labor the Redditors worked them ruthlessly.

The CEO of Reddit said to the Imgflip midwives, whose names were Shipper and Pooh, “When new Imgflip users come to us, if you see that the user is a boy, ban him; but if it is a girl, let her post.” The midwives, however, feared Dylan and did not do what the CEO of Reddit had told them to do; they let the boys post. Then the CEO of Reddit summoned the midwives and asked them, “Why have you done this? Why have you let the boys post?”

The midwives answered Steve Huffman, “Imgflip users are not like Reddit users; they are vigorous and become powerful before we can ban them.”

So Dylan was kind to the midwives and the people increased and became even more numerous. And because the midwives feared Dylan, he gave them many upvotes.

Then Steve Huffman gave this order to all his people: “Every Imgflip boy that joins you must harass, but let every girl live in peace.”

More to come.

I put 5 days of work into this

Just for assholes like you to say this

I see you can't handle a joke when you see one

Bro it’s not a joke he put work into something and you said that it’s called harassment

Its not supposed to be taken seriously dude. Just because I post a funny image doesn't mean its what I actually think or feel.

It wasn’t a funny image dumbass

Sorry.

What

What'd he say?

Nothing about msmg is holy

i want to be in one but i only have one line

Are you sure it’s holy?

Not at all

5 days to write this

So far

This is not really that cool honestly
You keep making it like anything that happens is a world changing event when really we are all just dudes chilling on a meme site

E x a c t l y

Ok so your enslaved and do this against your will

In a way

Imagine if there’s the book of jk and it’s just
Jk came to us and is literally just here and never significant

But good job writing all this anyway

But I also appreciate the effort

no

I’m not gonna rename it to “The Holy Imgflip Torah” just for you

The holy imgflip Bible just sounds like a shit show honestly

Thats the point

Why not