One night, I was playing Super Mario 64. I was playing as the Italian figure, Mario. After some rigorous jumping, I failed once, and the Mario fell to his doom...
He came back from the painting and said, "MAMMA MIA, I GOT F**KING KILLED," as he walked outside.
I asked myself... "Did Mario swear...? Did I... Did I hear that from the video...!?"
I didn't think twice about it, until later that night...
While traveling through the Dire Dire Docks, upon my usual business, Mario turned his head in a 40 degree angle and said "shh--F**K!"
Then my mother comes into the room and asks "Are you swearing?"
I said "It was Mario, not me...!" My mother grabbed me by the ear. She threw me into the bathroom and I went "OOOF!"
She jumped on my face...
She did the ground pound.
She swung me around by the hair and said "So long, gay Bowser!"
That night, I decided to revisit the old Dire Dire Docks for further inspection...
This time Mario pivoted his face towards the camera and said "C**T."
My mother ran in holding the Mario manual and started belting me across the mouth with it. Then she started cutting the webbing of my fingers with it. My fingers became longer.
She grabbed my lip and said "If you ever act like that no-good Wario again, I'll pull off your-..."
I said, "It's MARIO, mom!"
That's when my father ran in with Yoshi the Dinoborg, who went "BOYBYAOW" and smacked me in the face.
On the third night, my dead girlfriend was in the videogame and said, "You have to save me. Or something, okay."
I had to play the Song of Healing backwards and it made the swear words retract back into Mario's mouth.
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