i feel that part about the "feeling like a burden". i keep starting arguments on accident in one of my friend groups and i even went on hiatus to see if it would be better. as far as i can tell, it was.
MY DEPRESSION IS TIED TO THE STATE OF MY FRIEND GROUP. WHEN MY FRIEND GROUP SPLIT APART, I DEVELOPED DEPRESSION. WHEN I BROUGHT IT BACK TOGETHER THE DEPRESSION WENT AWAY. THEN IT CAME BACK. NOW ONE OF MY FRIENDS IS LEAVING THE FRIEND GROUP, AND ANOTHER IS LEAVING THE GROUP CHAT. MEANWHILE I'M SILENTLY STARTING TO GET DEPRESSION AGAIN QND IT'S SEEMS LIKE NOBODY CARES. IT'S STARTED TO FEEL LIKE I'M JUST THROWING MY PROBLEMS ONTO OTHERS, WHEN IN REALITY I'M TRYING TO ASK FOR HELP. I FEEL LIKE I'M JUST A BURDEN ON ALL MY FRIENDS, LIKE IT WOULD BE BETTER IF I LEFT THE FRIEND GROUP. I THINK I HAVE SOME FORM OF THANATOPHOBIA BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO LOSE ANY FRIENDS. MY DEPRESSION STARTED WHEN THE FRIEND GROUP SPLIT AND I LOST 3 FRIENDS. I'M TRYING TO DO EVERYTHING I CAN TO KEEP THE FRIEND GROUP TOGETHER, BUT I DON'T THINK IT'S WORKING. EVERYTHING'S FALLING APART AND I'M GOING DOWN WITH IT.
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