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Inscrytion RP no attacking him.

Inscrytion RP no attacking him. | BTW YOU ARE IN A CHAIR BUT NOT TIED UP; YOU WAKE UP IN A CABIN AND SEE HIM WDYD? | made w/ Imgflip meme maker
2,956 views 5 upvotes Made by Mountain-man 11 months ago in Role_Play
2230 Comments
0 ups, 10mo,
202 replies
made w/ Imgflip meme maker
(Just don't mind the cat)

*Loaz blinked awake, rubbing at their eyes. It was so dark. Did they still have their eyes closed? They glanced around before the pair of eyes nearly startled them out of their seat*

"Jesus-!"
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(so where were we?)
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(Right after beating Royal, on the way to fight Grimora)
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(alright you go)
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*Loaz slides the piece of Royal's tombstone into its place, wiping their dusty hands off on their jacket*

"Alright, bossfight time. Let's try not to die."
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Grimora: *turns to look at them* ah hello dear!
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"Hel- oh my god, Stinkbug? Like, the gameboy ferret made it obvious but holy crap! I was not expecting you!"

*They laughed*

"Been a hot minute. How've you been?"
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Grimora: pretty good how about you dear?
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"I've been alright. It's been fun so far. Though I will say I miss that tension in the cabin. Oh well. At least my teeth'll be spared."

*Loaz smiled*

"Shall we play?"
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Grimora: of course.
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*With an excited nod, they draw their cards. Sentry drone, wolf pup, hrokkall, adder. They placed the drone, sacrificing the it for the wolf pup. They rang the bell*
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???: alright. *next is a fan, a jar of bone tokens, and a bottle goat*
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Sawyer: *adds teeth to the fake scale*
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"I never did get to use any bone creatures did I? Why not try 'em out?"

*They took the jar*
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???: alright.
(should I pull a asshole move?)
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(Yes)
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(three pliers not possible but I'll f**king do it)
???: *smile as he pulls out three pliers*
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"You absolute asshole."

*They laugh, grabbing one of the pliers*

"The illusion of choice."
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???: yes.
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"Well then, let's get this shitshow on the road."

*They move forward*
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???: *A skull or blood symbol card*
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"I think I've stalled enough."

*Loaz moved to the skull, taking their cards. Squirrel, stoat, snapper, cat. Looking over their cards, though, the stoat looked a bit... off. More rectangular.* (Brick Stoat my beloved)

:What?:

"Nothing, just..."

*They looked back to the board, fighting muscle memory and placing the cat instead. They rang the bell.*
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Magnififcus: of course. *a brush paints the battle into action*
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"Look, you might be the absolute worst, but I've gotta give credit where it's due. The wizard shit is awesome."

*Squirrel, l33pb0t, mage knight, buff conduit. They simply ring the bell, not really able to play anything worth playing*
(This fight pissed me off so bad that I snapped, bought the ouroboros, buffed it to an obscene level thanks to the training dummy, and used that alone to win. It was hell but so funny)
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Magnificus: *plays a mage knight*
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*They draw the field mice, using the squirrel and l33pbot to play it. They hit the bell*
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Magnificus: sigils...
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"Yeah. What about them?"

*They blinked*
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Magnificus: nothing.
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*They shrug and hit the bell again*

“Nobody here knows how to elaborate, do they.”
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Magnificus: indeed.
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“Kaycee said to be careful. Didn’t say why. Grimora really didn’t want to be replaced. No further explanation. The sigils comment is arguably the least concerning, but still, this is a pattern.”
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???: of course not it was petty.
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*They smile, relieved*

"Oh thank god. Maybe I got just a bit ahead of myself with the ouroboros thing."

*They moved to the next space*
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???: *skull*
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"Okay, let's try not to suck, right now."

*Squirrel, mole, amoeba, wolf. They play the mole and ring the bell*
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???: doubt it.
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*They take a squirrel ring the bell again*
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???: *I play an elk*
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*they take another squirrel and play the wolf. They add the amoeba as well and its sigil shifts to the airborne sigil.*

"Cool, the blob can fly."

*they ring the bell*
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???: I yield.
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"Okay then."

*They nod and gather their items*
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(okay)
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(Anyways, shall we return to the rp? And should we say that the stuff with the Dredger happened for rp's sake?)
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(yes and yes but I need sleep)
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(Aight, sleep well. We can carry later.)
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(hello_
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(Hi! Shall we carry on?)
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(of course)
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(Aight)

*With the Dredger not needing to be beaten, Loaz headed towards the trapdoor that had dropped them there. Before they could be carried up, though, they glanced back. Something strange had been dropped on the conveyor belt. As they tried to get a closer look, the object seemed to glitch out. They jumped, stumbling back into the beam of light and being lifted out, back to the melting room. They shook their head*

"That was nothing. You've seen glitched out shit before."

*They assured themself, retracing their way back to P03.*

"I beat your guys. Except the Dredger of course, but it said you'd rather have it keep working. So, shall we finish this?"
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PO3: perhaps I missed some synergys in your deck.
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"Or perhaps brute force does work out. But who's keeping track?"

*They paused for a second*

"Oh uh, by the way, the basement dweller found some weird glitchy blob in the water so if that's anything you should be worried about, just lettin' you know."

*At the very least, maybe they'd get an idea what it was. Maybe it was what made that glitchy card back in the cabin.*
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???; *a cockroach, a long elk, and another beehive*
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"The long one. It's simply tradition."

*They took the long elk and carried forward*
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???: that's what she said. *A skull with a strange marking above it is the only choice*
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"Shut up. I'm shocked you even know that kind of stuff."

*They moved forward, warily drawing their cards, squirrel, worker ant, long elk, beehive*

"Not a bossfight, is it?"
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???: nope. *pulls out the elk with flying symbol wooden carving*
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"If you send in flying god creatures, it won't be MY teeth that these pliers pull out."

*They threatened, laying out the worker and and ringing the bell*
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???: *place elk doe but it is flying and add one to their scale*
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"Huh."

*They pull a card from their deck, another worker ant. They take the squirrel bottle in order to play the ant. The ants' damage shifts to two each.*

"So that's what ant damage means. Cool."

*They rang the bell*
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???: *I add two to my scale and now the elk doe is a elk and evens the scale*
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*They take a squirrel card, seeing not much else they could do yet. They just had to hold out with the ants, which seemed doable enough even with the elk being annoying as all hell. They rang the bell*
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Magnificus: *smiling*
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"Don't give me that look! Remind me again who just got beat by an army of mice."
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Magnificus: and they paid with their balls.
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"Victory is victory."

*They concluded, sitting back*
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Magnificus: and child labor is child labor.
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"You're doing child labor too? God, the list just keeps getting longer!"
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(hey, been a hot minute. Just checking in. You there?)
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(Oh shit yeah sorry)
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(It's alright. Happens to the best of us lol)
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(but I'm not the best of us?)
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(I think you are)
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???: *places a single bee*
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"Bee... Well now I don't wanna hurt it. I'll just move around it or something."

*They grabbed a squirrel, sacrificing it and the egg to send in the ouroboros. They hesitantly ring the bell*
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???: *they both deal one damage scale stays still and he places another bee*
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*They take another card, the stoat, sacrificing the ouroboros to play it. The card returned to their hand, stats increasing by one.*

"Uhhhh is it... supposed to... Wait."

*They rang the bell, smile widening.*

(the creature has discovered a new way to be horrible)
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???: *the scale tips one to there side and I have a bee if a bee dies*
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*Loaz takes a squirrel, sacrificing it and the stoat for the ouroboros, then the latter two for the kingfisher.*

"And guess what, pal, WE AREN'T DONE HERE!"

*They cackle as they sacrifice the stoat and kingfisher yet again to play the ouroboros once more, now buffed to three hp/attack*

"Go forth, my son."

:They've lost it.:

*They ring the bell*
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???: *they tip the scales to where I am one hit away from losing*
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*They laugh, taking the wolf from their deck, sacrificing the ouroboros and stoat once more before playing it. They ring the bell, saluting the bees.*

(They've been enabled and are absolutely going to abuse it)
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???: *they take back the bees and take out three cards a bee hive, otter, death adder*
(four words. "too fast too soon")
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(Too fast too good)
"One word. Bees."

*They grab the beehive*
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???: *the scale tips to his side* "Too fast Too good" *his eyes glow red as he replaces his side with flying grizzly bears*
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"Wh- What do you mean, 'Too fast?" You can't just- Wait!"

*Loaz stumbled over their words, looking down at the eight bears with widened eyes.*

"Wait, wait, wait..."

*They grabbed for a card, the long elk. The touch of death sigil would be helpful, if they had the bones to play it, and the hope that it would actually make a dent.*

"This is just a joke, right? You're gonna put the bears away and we can play like civilized human beings?"
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???: no.
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"But- Well..."

*They paused for a moment, having an idea. They weren't quite out of ways to be awful.*

"If I just never end my turn, your bears can't attack me. You and I will be stuck here until I feel like I've had enough." (*chuckles in sans undertale*)

*They grinned, trying to look triumphant despite their utter hopelessness.*
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???: alright I have all day.
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"Good!."

*They leaned back, arms crossed. They stared forwards at the bears, stomach clenched.*

"So uh.... why is THIS allowed but I can't just drop cards wherever I want?"
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???: *remains silent to make them impatient*
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"Oh come on, not even gonna talk to me in the plenty of time that we have? This is like, top opportunity for you explaining yourself and your spooky magic card murdering yu-gi-oh game. Like, you realize that you could just ask people to play this without kidnapping them and literally pulling teeth."
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???: *still silent*
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"Okay, so we're doing this now? Fine. Take your frankly unfair and undeserved victory."

*They smacked the bell*

"Are you happy?"
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???: hah no. *cards*
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"Give me the bird or so help me god I will turn this campaign around."

*They moved onto the space*
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???: I don't pick the cards. *king fisher, sparrow, raven* ah shit.
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"AHA! Oh you're dead, old man."

*They took the raven*
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???: ....
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*Loaz snickered and moved to the next space*

"The question is, flying bear or bi-strike geck? Which one first..?"
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???: *sigil sacrifice*
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"Okay, here we go. What first?"

*They thought over the options. Flying bear to get revenge, or free bi-strike geck. In the end, the raven was an alright card on its own. They could afford to wait for another sigil sacrifice with it. The mantis, on the other hand, was easily expendable. In the end, geck won out, and they gave the card the bi-strike sigil*

"Then we pray for another further along."
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???: *sighs slightly glad*
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"You dodged a very large bear-shaped bullet there."

*Loaz smirked and moved to the next space. It felt good to be the one causing him to worry rather than the other way around.*
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???: *chuckles* and when you ripped out your eye.
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"Oh, I would've fainted!"

*They laughed.*

"Character development's crazy."

*They grabbed another squirrel.*
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???: yeah.
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*They play down the stoat and ring the bell*
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???: *the wolf grows up*
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*They take another card, ouroboros. They kill the skink and ant to play it and ring the bell.*
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???: *the scale tips*
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*They picked up the cards, grinning.*
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???: *cards are, ant, ant queen, and second death card*
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"The pest or more ants? Such is the question... Ah, screw it. Pest time."

*They took the second deathcard.*
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???: what do you mean?
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"It looks all anime-y. It's just giving me a look and I don't appreciate it."
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???: it's just a goat.
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"Look, man. I dunno what to tell you. Some of your cards are talking and some are givin' me goo goo eyes. I'm off my damn rocker here, I'm well aware."

:You think?:

"You are not involved here!"

*The stinkbug just looks mildly disappointed.*
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???: you might be more insane then I am...
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"You think? There's another win to strap under my belt then."

*They chuckle*
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???: now ring the bell and start the second phase.
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"Right."

*They hit the bell*
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???: *second phase starts and I turn your cards into gold nuggets*
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"There goes my bear. No matter. I didn't throw away all my beasts phase 1."

*They draw a squirrel and Ted.*

"Just like that."

*They ring the bell to let whatever came next clear space*
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Grimora: well I guess I have some skeletons in my closet then?
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*They snorted*

"Clearly!"
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Grimora: least I keep mine alive.
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"Good point. I don't tend to do that very well. Lotta these guys end up sacrifice fodder though I do have to question why skeletons give blood."
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Grimora: bone marrow holds blood dear.
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"Ah! That explains it. Anyways, I think it's your turn."
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Grimora: are you sure?
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"I just played those mice so yeah."
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Grimora: *plays another gravedigger*
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*They drew the ghost ship and rang the bell. They could just power through with what they had now*
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(Yeah where were we?)
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(Right after getting flying wolves from a totem)
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(Was it your turn or mine?)
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(I think I just moved forward a space on the map)
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???: *it is a sigil sacrifice*
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"Alright, time to make an unholy being."

*They whip out Pest. Another unkillable super-being could be amazing, but did they want to sacrifice the card?*

"I'm sure it's fine. I'd want me to do that if it meant more unkillable gods. C'mere, Gameboy!"

*They placed the Stoat on the upper stone, shifting the unkillable sigil onto it.*

"Not quite the infinite sacrifices gamebreaking of take one, but it's a good second."
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???: . . . *glares at them*
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*They simply grin back*

"Let us move on."

*They move to the next space*
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???: *cards or battle*
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"I feel like if I pick to battle you'd send out an army of sharks or something."

*They moved to the cards space*
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(what are the skeleton's with sycthes called?)
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(Revenants)
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(thx)
Grimora: *plays a revenants*
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"Okay, scary guy. There goes my wolf."

*They let out a relieved sigh as the brittle sigil kills the revenant too. They draw a raven and hit the bell*
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*the scale tips*
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"Nice. This is a bossfight though so two phases I'm assuming?"
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Grimora: indeed. *your side has your dead cards except much weaker*
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"Ah, return of the dog. Whoopdeedoo!"

*they drew a gravedigger and sacrificed it and the wolf to play the raven*
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Grimora: indeed. *plays a bone hound*
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*They drew and placed down the mage pupil, as well as the ruby mox to keep it alive and get the dog away from the raven*
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Leshy: I like blood. but not enough to get it myself.
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"Fair. Now uh...shall we finish this up?"

They clasped their hands together.
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Leshy: well first. what was your favorite moment throughout your journey here?
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"Oh! I'd have to say... God, Magnificus' students were just the best. I think I've got a better idea of who to replace, if that's any good news to you."

They tapped the table excitedly. Once they got through this, they could patch things up.
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Leshy: ah the children........ they have always been excited to learn new things. sadly the perfered magic over beasts. *they take out their cards* shall we?
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"Yeah, let's finish this up."

They pulled out their deck and drew. L33pb0t, banshee, steelmice, stoat. They lay down their stoat in place of the l33pb0t and rang the bell.
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Leshy: *the battle intro is the camera taking a picture. he plays a wolf cub*
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They flinch a bit at the flash. For half a second, they expected to be back at the start. But they still had their cards. It was just the intro. They quickly brushed it off and drew a draugr. They placed it in front of the cub and rang the bell.
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(I forgot what leshy's deck and power was since I just get rid of him at the start)
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(Really it looks like his deck can just be whatever aqside from a guaranteed stoat and coyote near the start. His ability is taking the stats from any card of yours that dies and transferring that into the amalgams you get for phase 2. The first card killed is the cost, the second the stats, and the third, the sigils. And by 'killed,' sacrifices don't count)
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(To the wiki I sprint)
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Magnificus: f**k.
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"No getting rid of me."

*they grin*
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Magnificus: yet.
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(Oh jeez, that's gonna hit different at the end of act 3)

"Besides, it's not like offing me would do any good. I'd just come right back, right?"
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Magnificus: for most cases yes.
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"Most cases?"
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Magnificus: let us not dwell on the matter.
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"Right."
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Magnificus: *doesn't play anything since full board*
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*they do the same and play nothing, drawing a gravedigger*
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(sorry got mixed up with someone else)
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All good. it happens))
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(you can choose the cards as a apology)
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(Kk let's go Skink, bullfrog, opossum.)

*They took the skink.*

"Yoink."
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???: *next is a battle*
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*Squirrel, skink, stoat, ant queen. They play the skink*
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???: *plays a wolf pup to the skink*
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*The wolf pup attacks and the skink drops it's tail, moving out of the way.*

"I have the feeling Take 1 Me would've freaked out about that one."

*They remarked, drawing a squirrel to play the ant queen, sacrificing the skink's tail. They ring the bell*
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???: along with my God Fish Bird Abominations.
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"Yeah, the good ol' immortal birds."

*They chuckled.*
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???: a gameboy?
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*Loaz held up the card*

"Look at that thing. It's got a damn screen, and like... buttons."

:Put me down!:

"That's not a stoat, it's an abomination. And buddy, I mean that in the nicest way possible."

*They return the 'stoat' to the deck and move forward.*
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???: I suggest you worry about yourself. *cards*
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"Coming from the one who told me to stab out my own eye."

*They moved to the cards*
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???: *a mantis, a coyote, and a moose buck*
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*They took the mantis. At the very least, its sigil could be sacrificed. They moved the piece forward, shuffling the insect into the deck*

"Not quite the legend Tim was, but it's decent."
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???: indeed.
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*They moved to the next space*
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???: *a campfire or strange statue cut in half*
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"New symbol! Love to see it."

*They moved to the statue space*
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???: *three cards a king fisher, a otter, and a cockroch*
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"WELl, WELL, WELL, HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED!"

*Loaz cackled, grabbing the kingfisher*

"Hypocrisy is fun!"
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???: yes how the tables have turned. *ready to f**king kill them already*
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(As you should be. Loaz is a menace.)

*Grinning, they moved up to the next space. At least it was an uphill climb. So far.*
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???: *a backpack or sigil sacrifice*
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"Don't need ANY more pliers, thank you. Sacrifice time."

*They moved to the sigil sacrifice, the gap in their teeth beginning to ache again at the reminder that it was supposed to hurt.*
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???: alright. *takes out the stones*
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*They place a mantis on the lower stone and the kingfisher on the upper, smiling maniacally as the bifurcated strike sigil was added to the 'God Bird Fish Abomination' (GBFA).*
(And they called Leshy the crazy one)
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???: bitch.
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*They chuckle and move forward to the next space*
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angler: *plays a rabbit and wolf pup*
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*They draw a card, a hawk.*

"Haven't seen that one yet. At least I'm getting a bit more variety I guess."

*The sacrifice the stoat and squirrel for the hawk*
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Angler: *the pup grows up*
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*Another squirrel is drawn, used to block the wolf*
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???: *the scale tips*
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1 reply
"That was simple enough. WAY easier than the other times."

*They shoved the cards back into their pocket*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
Angler: *hands them a pack of cards*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Ah, like a legit TCG. Cool."

*They open up the pack*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
Angler: what?
(you may choose the cards)
0 ups, 9mo
"Oh, right. They were just masks. Guess there'll also be the others somewhere around here."

*Stoat, wolf cub, hrokkall, gravedigger, mage pupil*

"Sick, cards I know nothing about. Guess we'll figure it out. Now, to find the other local crazies."
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
PO3: *powers on with a smug grin*
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
"What is this? What did you do?"

If their hand were loose, they'd've barreled across the table and smashed that smug screen in already.

"You just- I was- DAMN IT!"

They threw their little stagnant fit, stamping the ground with a foot and slamming their free hand down on the table. There was no fear like the first time they'd awoken life this. Here, it was nothing but pure, unfiltered frustration.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
PO3: well this will be "fun"
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
"It'll be fun when I gnaw through those wires holding your head in place!"

They snarled back.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
PO3: and that's why you have that shackle.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
"If this thing's all that keeps you safe, maybe I don't need that hand."

Loaz grumbled half under their breath. They were starting to calm down. Not a lot by any means, but they'd stopped yelling. That was a plus!
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
PO3: the blood loss would kill you.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
"I'll come back. I tend to."

They slumped back to sitting, leaning their head on their hand.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
PO3: and why would I not just keep killing you?
0 ups, 3mo
"Good question. Suppose I can't stop you there. But then, what'd be the point of taking over? Just to torture some kid over and over?"

They leaned back as far as their arm would allow.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: won't be the last. *it's a campfire*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"New one! Hey!"

*They moved to the campfire space*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *it has a attack symbol* you can increase the attack of a card
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Right. Mantis God, c'mere"

*They shuffled thrugh their cards to find the mantis god, placing the card at the fire.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: you can do it again but it's risky.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They paused. A three-way triple damage would be an instant win. But was it worth it? What kind of risk? Losing the card? It didn't quite feel worth it.*

"Two should be plenty for now."

*They took the card back*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: alright.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They move forward, returning the mantis god the the deck*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *mushroom or cards with a wolf symbol*
0 ups, 10mo
"The best doubles I have are a few ants. An extra card for my brain to keep track of couldn't hurt."

*They move to the wolf*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *smiles as he puts out one candle*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Wonderful." (Totally didn't forget that wolf was there)

*They gathered up their cards, once again wracked by that gut-wrenching anxiety. They took deep breaths. They were fine. They were fine.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: indeed.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They moved forward carefully.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *cards or blood card*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They move to the regular cards*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *a wolf, a elk, a mole*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*Loaz took the elk and carried forward with a sigh*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: nervous?
0 ups, 10mo
"A bit, but I've seen worse. Please tell me you aren't gonna pull that bear thing again."
0 ups, 5mo,
2 replies
(okay)
0 ups, 5mo
imgflip.com/memechat?invite=42SDN09XxC8LMhlPceph1CCPRzXI5Exr here. I think the problem was that I clicked it, so I just made a chat with myself lol))
0 ups, 4mo,
1 reply
*Loaz collected their cards back from both sides of the board, grinning with satisfaction. It took forever, and they nearly screamed at least four times, but it was over. They won. F**king finally.*

"Good game, Stoat."

*The Roach got to their feet.*
0 ups, 4mo,
1 reply
PO3: . . . . . . . it doesn't matter.
0 ups, 4mo,
1 reply
"Whatever helps you go into sleep mode at night."

*They shrugged, tucking their deck into their pocket.*
0 ups, 4mo,
1 reply
PO3: now leave.
0 ups, 4mo,
1 reply
"You got it! Gotta take in the view I'll be seeing once I'm livin' in a sick-ass wizard tower."

They did a little salute and skittered out the door, back outside. Finally, that rusty industrial smell was gone. They paused for a moment to glance up at the factory entrance. 'Doesn't matter.' The Scrybe had mentioned that a few times. What 'didn't matter'? Them winning? becoming a Scrybe themself? Seemed pretty damn important to them. Though, they supposed it didn't really affect P03 if it wasn't the one getting replaced. The bot was probably just a sore loser or something. They shrugged and continued on back across the bridge. Back to that all-too-familiar forest. And that even-more-familiar cabin.*

"I'm back."

They suppressed the urge to use the irritating voice. Best to save that for the folks they actually didn't respect.

"How was the quiet without me?"

They'd let themself have a little fun at least.
0 ups, 4mo,
1 reply
Leshy: . . . . . suprisingly........ I wished you were faster.
0 ups, 4mo,
1 reply
"Well, that's new! Guess you never know how great something is 'til it's gone."

God, wasn't that the truth. Y'now what would've let them get back faster? Harrison. But, the packs had not been kind to them. They'd have to finish this up without the ouroboros. In his honor. They'd find him one day. No way they'd let themself get replaced.
0 ups, 4mo,
1 reply
Leshy: like your teeth.
0 ups, 4mo
They grin in a sort of teasing manner.

"Unfortunately, you won't be gettin' 'em unless you knock 'em out yourself!"

They paused.

"Don't get any ideas."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
(want to skip to your inevtibal victory?)
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
(Sure)
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
magnificus: *hands them three decks* . . . . . Keep your choice the same.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
“We’ll see how I feel when everything’s said and done.”

*hover mage, bleene’s mox, stim mage, steel mice, elk fawn. Gourmage, Master Goranj, orange mage, banshee, cat. Gem fiend, bleene’s mox, force mage, squirrel ball, gamblobot* (aka the card I obliterated Leshy with in my second playthrough)

“Stay on your toes*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
(which one?)
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
(Gamblobot. Rolled a six and powered through)
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
(I actaully never got a gamblobot)
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
(Neither did I the first time around)

*Loaz skipped out of the room and down the tower. They’d be back eventually, they assured themself* (srry Loaz, but I don’t think so)
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
(average great asencion enjoyer)
0 ups, 7mo
They looked across the bridge at the factory and grinned. It’d been long enough that P03 had been given ample time to prepare. They darted across and flung themself into the factory*

“Guess who’s back!”

*They sang*
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
Leshy: it seems my fate is sealed.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
"Yeah. Sorry we couldn't've extended it a little more."

It was a genuine apology, even if it was tinged with triumphant snark.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
Leshy: it is fine once you become a scyrbe I hope we can do many matches.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
"Y'know, I'm glad I changed my mind from replacing you."

They gathered up their cards, looking over the one named after them before handing it back.

"If that's the case then I can't wait!"
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
Leshy: *extends their hand for you to shake*
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
Loaz takes his hand and shakes it.

"Good game, Leshy. I'll see you when I'm a Scrybe."
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
Leshy: *nods*
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
They stood up conclusively and nodded in return, before turning towards the door. The waved goodbye as they left, and stepped outside.

It took their eyes a moment or two to readjust as they left the woods, headed towards the four glowing beacons in the sky. They picked up the pace as anticipation rose. This was it, the result they didn't know they wanted, but now they had. And boy would it be great to see that stupid bush walk off in defeat. Thoughts like that carried their legs faster, until they skidded to a stop in front of the four pillars.

"Alright, Loaz. This is it. Big choice. Easy choice."

They approached Magnificus' pillar.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
. . . .
0 ups, 3mo
"Alright you coniferous cuck, get out here."

They flicked the stone.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *I add two teeth their side of the scale so one damage*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They draw another squirrel, placing the mantis god in the space the fawn had moved out of. They rang the bell.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *I place a bullfrog in front of mantis god*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*As the mantis attacks, the opposing leaping trap snaps shut on the mantis, taking the insect down with it*

"And there goes Tim. I even named it!"
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: what?
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"I named the mantis god. I thought he deserved to be named."

*They take a card from their deck, the stoat. They ring the bell, glancing to the knife. Maybe they could turn this around... No, not unless things got really desperate. They couldn't even imagine what it would be for.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *the frogs strike dealing two damage if one more attack happens they lose*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Okay, things are getting desperate. What's the knife do?"

*They grabbed the blade tensely*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: stab out your eye.
0 ups, 10mo
"WHAT? I'm not going to..."

*They glanced to the scales, tensing. Which would've been better, losing an eye or losing their life? They weighed out the options, slowly lifting the blade to their eye. Just get it over quickly, they commanded themself. They pulled back the knife.*

"Do I really have to? Because I can handle a tooth. I don't know about an eye."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *the scale tips*
0 ups, 10mo
"Artificial pricks can't beat real ones."

*They remarked, returning to the map and moving their piece forward.*
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: *appears*
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
"Hello again. Sorry to disappoint."

The least genuine apology ever spoken.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: . . . . *just glares*
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
The silence came with a growing sense of impatience, reminiscent of their first attempt to wait out dying. That same frustration. They would look back at it and laugh any other time, but right now it'd be hypocritical.

"Well? Anything to say?"
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: you're more of a failure then my students will ever be.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
"Oh wow, I'm weeping."

Their eyes rolled back.

"Anyways, how does this work? You say your little goodbyes and go running for the hills? Actually wait, these are all islands."
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
*PO3's pillar begins to glitch*
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
They turn towards the adjacent pillar.

"Hmm?"

They hate the way their shoulders tense.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
PO3: *appears by force* hello.
0 ups, 3mo
"P03! What brings you here? Last I checked, this didn't concern you!"

They chirped with faux excitement.
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
???: cool...
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
"Isn't it? Here, how about I just..."

*They spawned a skeleton from the tomb robber, before sacrificing the latter for the hrokkall*

"It would add an extra energy cell if this game hadn't already been going on a good minute. Otherwise, it's not much better than an otter"
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: Wait what happens.... if I lose...?
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Usually I just get a pack of cards and move on to whoever's next. I'm sure you'll be fine, right?"

*They felt a slight twinge of worry*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: what if... I stay stuck here?
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Surely not! Magnificus wouldn't do that to you, would he? He... was the one who put you here, right?"
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: ..... what if I stay here forever.....
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"No no no, don't think like that. Listen, regardless of who wins this, I'll figure out a way to get you out of here, alright?"

*Their words sped up a bit. What kind of sicko would do this to a person? Were there others? There had to be. Were they in similar situations?*

"Heck, I'll even tell Magnificus you beat me if that'll get you on his good side."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: really? *they seem hopeful*
0 ups, 7mo
"Yeah!"
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *the scale tips and he takes back his card*
0 ups, 10mo,
2 replies
*They gather up their things*

"At least the workaround's simple enough."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *three cards a kingfisher, a moose, and a grizzly*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"The kingfisher, fun as it is, didn't serve me too well. And I have ZERO trust in those bears after what they did. Moose buck it is."

*Loaz grabbed the center card and carried forward to the next space*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: buck you. *cards or sigil sacrifice*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"HA!"

*They move to the sigil sacrifice space*

(Time to scroll back to find all the cards I can use here if any)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *pulls out the stones*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Now, you see this Long Elk here... that skull means immediate kill, yes?"

*They smiled, placing it down to be sacrificed. Much as they didn't want to lose the card, their plan was so dumb it had to be tested.*

"You recall the Holy One."

*They laid the mantis god down as the receiver, looking away as the long elk vanished.*

"Goodbye, extended comrade."

*Loaz took the mantis god and returned it to the deck, moving onward*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: f**k.
0 ups, 10mo
(This round's ouroboros)

*They move to the next space*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: your card reward first.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Right, right."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *a death adder, a wolf, and the first death card*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"My horrible creation, back again."

*They admired the card.*

"Not a bad picture. Never did get to see how it turned out."

*They shuffled it into the deck.*

"You should NOT have given me options like this."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: I know...
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Well, brace yourself for the worst mistake you let me make."

*They moved to the next space*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: me and your parents have something in common. *boss fight*
0 ups, 10mo
*Squirrel, stunted wolf, ant queen, stinkbug. They place the stunted wolf in front of the pack mule and ring*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
*the angler moves out of the way*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
*They simply nod and cross the bridge*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
Prospecter: *mining*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"S'cuse me, sir. I gotta beat you at this game so I can steal your boss's job."
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
Prospecter: only if ye find me dog!
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Your dog... OH! Right, the bloodhound. On it."

*They dart back towards the cabin, before realizing they have no idea where to even begin looking for a dog*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
*maybe in the woods*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"They shrugged. May as well. They could probably take a bear (They absolutely could not). Loaz wandered off into the trees*

"Where you at, big guy? Your owner's lookin' for you!"

*They called out*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
(oh they want a bear? I can do that)
0 ups, 9mo
(Oh god no)
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: alright. *plays ruby golem*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Shit, alright. Just hope my mice hold out I guess..."

*They draw a warren and ring the bell*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: stupid mice.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
“Well I’ve got plenty more just in case.”
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: f**k.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
“Clearly some cards were just made to be broken. Believe me, you were lucky to have been a card during the Ouroboros craze and not on the receiving end of like 9 damage.”
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: that thing...
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"It's amazing, isn't it? I even named mine Harrison. Perhaps one day we will reunite. But today is not that day. At least not right now it isn't."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: hopefully not.
(robo oroburos is waiting for loaz)
0 ups, 7mo
"You know you're doing something right when folks start praying for your downfall!"

(P03 is about to get real humbled)
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *a battle or mushroom*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"No dupes. Battle time."

Squirrel, stinkbug, geck, ant queen. They play geck and ring the bell.*

"Already going well."
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: you do know I'd just give you a dupe right? *plays a skink*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Wait for real?"

*They looked up.*

"So I've just been dodging free potential gods this whole time?"
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: yeah dumbass.
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Well I didn't know THAT! Say it sooner next time, wouldya?

*They took back the geck*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: nah.
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Fine then. We'll go there. Dunno if it'll be worth it but I may as well."

*They flipped around to the other space*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: you can't go back.
0 ups, 9mo
"God, pick a side."

*They move back and reset the board back to good ol' geck*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: they'll get used to it.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Whatever you say, bud. Your turn."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: *plays mage knight*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
*They draw a sapphire mox and ring the bell*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: *the scale finally tips*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Whew, okay, phase 2. What do you got?"
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: *repaints every sigil*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
“Buh- MY MICE HAV BEEN FIXED!”

*They shouted at the loss of the fecundity sigils*

“Give my mice their balls back!”
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: your mice have been neutured.
0 ups, 7mo
"I'll get you for this! Okay, how badly did you vandalize my cards?"

*A spiky buff conduit, an adder that gives a rabbit, ruby-hearted field mice, and a ruby-hearted blue mox. Yep, that looked normal. They drew a junior sage now with the mental gemnastics sigil and ring the bell*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: alright.
(you won't but remember "too fast too soon" but they will be brought back)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
(Oh god, that hit my the first time I did the fisher's fight and I swear I threw something)

"Let's carry on, shall we?"

*They moved to the next spot*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *a skull*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They pulled up their cards, the process practically becoming muscle memory. Squirrel, stoat, stinkbug, snapper*

:You again...:

{Indeed! Our friend here freed me.}

:Well I basically told them how to do it-:

"Yeah, big help, thank you. Mister Eyes, this one's got like... bones on it."

*Loaz pointed to the bone cost on the Stinkbug. At least it was more polite than the Stoat.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: yes each time a card dies it will give you a bone token.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"And then you use those to play the bone card. Got it."

*They set up the default squirrel -> Stoat, a little coin with a bone on it appearing in the squirrel's place.*

"Double got it."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: mhm.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They ring the bell*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *I add a tooth to my side of the scale and place a kingfisher then ring the bell doing making the scale even*
0 ups, 10mo
*They took a squirrel, sacrificing it and the stoat for the living boulde- I mean the snapper, and ringing the bell*

"I'm going to destroy your bird with my stone. Definitely a stone. It may as well be."
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: too bad.
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
*They take a squirrel and sacrifice it and the ant to play the ouroboros, ringing the bell*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *the scale tips*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"This thing is so broken."

*They took back the card*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: yeah. *a king fisher, a wolf, and a glitched card*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
*They jump back at seeing the glitched card*

"Uh- Sir! What is that? I- I don't- I think something's a bit wrong with that one. Why is it... like that?"
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: what do you mean it's obviously a [name not found]
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
“Pffft, this is weird as hell! It’s coming with me!”

*Despite their hesitance to take the card, they chuckled as if it were a game-winning choice.*

“So what the heck is it supposed to do?”
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: you'll see.
0 ups, 9mo
“Time to do a little reality shattering. This can only go well.”

*They moved to the next space*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *a skull or mushrooms*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They moved to the skull and drew their cards, squirrel, ant, beehive, stinkbug.*

"Jeez, the bug game."
0 ups, 10mo,
2 replies
???: mhm.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They placed down the beehive and rang the bell*
0 ups, 10mo,
2 replies
???: *plays a wolf*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
you there, homie?))
0 ups, 10mo
(yeah just didn't see your reply sorry)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They take a squirrel to play the ant and ring the bell*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *places a coyote to destroy the ant*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*Huffing, they take a card and place the stinkbug down to kill the coyote*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *the wolf has nothing against it and tips the scale**
0 ups, 10mo
"Okay then..."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pR-WNlXDwQ

(Essentially Loaz throughout this entire rp)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
(me the entire time)
0 ups, 10mo
(F**k you)
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *play's your geck and a death card* they're betraying you.
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Ah well, perhaps Harrison was a little hard on 'im."

*They placed Tim in one of the opened spaces and hit the bell*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
(tim is the oroburos right?)
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
(No, mantis god. Harrison is the ouroboros)
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *the death card was frail and fell over dead*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Dang, how many folks played before I did? Who's are these?"

*They drew two squirrels and played the ant*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *plays kaycee death card in front of tim*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Kaycee. Quite the card they've made. Probably shouldn't say I'm glad they're dead, but they killed Tim so they aren't gaining points with me."

*They frowned, drawing a squirrel another ant. They played the insect, saluting the death of both ants as they rang the bell*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *the scale tips* ugh... while the moon is good for looks it has no purpose.... let's change that. *take a picture of the moon and places it*
0 ups, 9mo
"Holy shit. You straight up played the moon. How in the ouro-loving F**K am I killing the MOON!?"

*they drew their cards. Stunted wolf and... ouroboros.*

"Oh. That's how."

*They played the ouroboros, sacrificing it for the wolf. They rang the bell. They knew the play. They just wanted more room to pull it off.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *a card with a blood symbol or one with a wolf symbol*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Cards but... specific. Screw it, we're going blood."

*They moved to the blood symbol cards*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *places three cards one blood, two blood, three blood*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Wait, these are like, blood costs?"

*A simple, cheap card could be convenient, weak or not. Having something other than the beloathed Stoat to start out with would be nice.*

"I've got all the gods I need, I think."

*They took the one blood card*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *it is a wolf pup*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Mini wolf! Soon it will be a menace just like it's mother."

*They pulled up the combined wolf card briefly before returning both to the deck and moving another step forward*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *a skull or a mushroom*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"No duplicates I don't think, so I say we just get this show on the road."

*They moved to the skull*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: alright.
0 ups, 10mo
*Squirrel, raven egg, ouroboros (uh oh...), kingfisher (Double oh no...). Playing the raven egg, they ring the bell as they try to suppress a smirk.*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
(oh shit sorry I thought it was your turn)
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
oop, nah I think it's yours idk. And if not, free double turn I guess lol)
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
(double turn it is)
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
(Have fun!)
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
(I mean you get the double turn)
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
Oh, aight)
*They drew their mage pupil and placed it and the squirrel down to take out the bonehound, ringing the bell with the relief of finally having the dog out of the way.*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
Sawyer: dumb dog making me look bad.
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
"Don't worry about it. It's a damn miracle I'm here at all not being carried through by snakes with too much damage."

*They snorted*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
sawyer: what? *plays skeleton and gravedigger*
0 ups, 8mo
*they drew a squirrel to block the skeleton*
0 ups, 4mo,
1 reply
(may your journey be safe)
0 ups, 4mo
(Afpejjjxii when the slow typing gets ya)
0 ups, 5mo,
2 replies
PO3: ask magnificus he made them not me.
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
*Nudge* New arg on the daniel mullins discord.))
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
(they got a discord?)
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
(Yeah, I can send you the link. It’s primarily hex_relatd, but still cool)
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
(you can send it later)
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
(K, maybe I can memechat it to you. But it’s still cool.)
0 ups, 5mo,
2 replies
(wait that'd be much easier then to constantly have to scroll up)
0 ups, 5mo
(Pffft, it would lol. I’ll see if I can set it up)
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
(says it didn't work)
0 ups, 5mo
(Oh. I’ll figure it out when I’m home. It’s laggy here.)
0 ups, 5mo
"I'll ask him on his way out, sure."

*they tapped the bell*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: you don't have the balls. wait what even are you?
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
“I mean, I think I’m human. I look pretty human, but I don’t die so maybe I’m something else…”
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: I meant gender.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"OH! I don't have one of those."

*They shrug*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
magnificus: what? how?
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"I'm not a guy, I'm not a girl, I'm just something else."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: well you're one step closer to being a scrybe.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"What's that mean?"
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: you're supernatural.
0 ups, 7mo
“Guess so.”

*They snickered*

“This just in, being non-binary makes you magic!”

*Loaz grabbed an adder from their deck*
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: *tilts their head as well*
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(Loaz’s equal in terms of assholery)

*They snickered at the mirrored gesture.*

“This is pathetic, huh?”
0 ups, 6mo,
2 replies
PO3: the only pathetic thing here is you.
0 ups, 6mo
"I was calling it pathetic for both parties. I'm well aware of how dumb this looks."
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(I summon thee)
0 ups, 6mo,
2 replies
(not right now I'm hanging out at my grandpa's house and he's old but later today I'll be back on)
0 ups, 6mo
(Aight, see you later then)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(You back big man?)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(yep)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(Shall we carry on? We were in the middle of the P03 fight. It was mostly just it and Loaz bitching as one would expect)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(of course)
0 ups, 6mo
*They draw steelmice. At least that could be played reliably. They placed it down at the end of their board and rang the bell*

"Return of the infinite mice."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
*Another glowing rune*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
*They tap it*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
*they are teleported to a senseless void*
???: . . . . *two eyes are in the dark*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
*They wave their fingers around though feel absolutely nothing. The air is
eerily still. It'd feel horribly stuffy if not for the single assured presence*

"Oh, well ain't this reminiscent of something-or-other. Hello?"
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: someone there!? *the eyes rapidly move in front of loaz*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Oh! Goodness! Yeah, I'm here."

*They held up a hesitant hand to wave. Thanks to the black of their jacket, their hand looked like it was floating. They stifled a giggle**

"Are you... just eyes? Is there a rest of you?"
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: *shrugs and pokes loaz* huh not a hallucination!
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"I'm generally pretty sure I exist."

*They tilt their head, vaguely amused.*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: *feels around their body*
0 ups, 7mo
"I take it you don't see many folks here? That are actually there of course?"

*Loaz holds out an arm for them*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: god I miss pizza....
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Well, when I get you the heck out of here, and yes I mean WHEN, I'll get you some."

*They pull their deck from their pocket, grinning as it looked like they pulled them from the void. Their own little bit of magic.*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: f**k yes. *pulls out a deck and holds it close* ah....... paper.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
*Zombie, squirrel, draugr, mage pupil. They ring the bell, seeing no reason to play anything*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: .... how do I play again?
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"So, you really just play whatever you'd like. I don't think you folks are bound by the rules of costs and such."

*They chuckle*

"Leshy once played eight bears at once which, mind you, each cost three blood and I wasn't seeing any goats."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: *places a gun*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"That's... where did you get that?"
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: *shrugs*
0 ups, 7mo
"Can't argue with that. But by 'play whatever,' I mean your cards not... actual weaponry."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: any stats are allowed.
(wait till they the oroburos)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
(Me when I the ouroboros)

"Great!"

*They slip the wolf into their deck and move to the next space*

"Let's test this concerningly bloody puppy out."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *it is a skull with two pickaxes next to it*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"What is this? Like a bossfight or something? There is too much detail on that to not be important."

*Loaz clings to their deck anxiously*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: it is a boss fight.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"You are really blurring the line between card game, board game, Saw game, and video game. I, for one, am all here for it."

*They pull up their cards and deal themself in, mantis, stoat, snapper, and squirrel.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: you hear metal against stone and a figure emerges. *he pulls out a mask* yee-haw twas the prospector!
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Oh dang, you really did just jump into character. Alright then."

*They chuckled*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *a pack mule is on his side of the board*
0 ups, 10mo
*They play the stoat, sacrificing the squirrel, and placing it in front of the mule.*

:Total misplay: (It was bound to be said eventually)

"I don't remember asking you!"

*They sacrificed the stoat and placed the mantis at it's right side, before ringing the bell to end the turn*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: yes.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
“So, what do we got?”
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *a mole, a death adder, and a long elk*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Is that just... a neck? That creature is just a neck."

*They pointed to the long elk card, perplexed. At least the sheer confusion was a nice distraction. They carefully took it.*

"I'm choosing it hoping for context clues."

(Whenever I play, I've made a tradition where no matter what, if it's an option, I take long elk. I'm not ending my long elk streak here.)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: it's more than just a neck
(maybe I should do that)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Well it's MY more than just a neck now."

*They moved forward to the next space*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: maybe you should explore the room a bit?
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Room! Right. There's an actual house."

*They sat up and inched away to look around.*

:Hey, vice grip, the book. Check the dang book.:

*They glanced town to the cards still in their hands, pulling out the stoat.*

:There are other talking cards. The code for one of 'em is in that book.:

"If they're anything like you maybe I shouldn't worry about it. I can barely stand you."

:Well if you don't want help, you can get yourself out of here yourself.:

*They groaned, shoving the cards into their pocket and flipping through the book. If there really was some sort of code, they could only hope it wasn't some weird letter puzzle. But no. Right there on the page for the "Mighty Leap" sigil, was the numbers 2-7-3.*

(First Paragraph of the roleplay, let's go!)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
(Yes!)
0 ups, 10mo
*They glanced back to the man at the table. Were they allowed to just go through his stuff like this? They shuffled warily over to the safe. Three wheels, three numbers, it lined up well. They spun each dial to the corresponding number and opened the safe as slowly and quietly as possible. A card sat inside, a Stinkbug. They flinched as it began to speak.*

{Oh... hello. I wasn't sure if I would ever escape that iron crypt... Is P- is the Stoat...around? The Stunted Wolf? This madness must end.} (The power of ctrl+c ctrl+v)

"There's two now. I'm not going insane, am I?"

{Ah, I don't think so. Not yet at least.}

"Great. Welcome to the group, pal. I see you know the Stoat."

*They tucked the Stinkbug into the deck and casually swiveled around back to the table.*

"Baaack."

(Btw, here's a dialogue guide now that I got 3 guys to play simultaneously, "Loaz," :Stoat,: {Stinkbug,} and, if we ever get to it, |Stunted Wolf.|)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *I'm one hit away from second phase*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They take in a deep breath.*

"Alright. Okay."

*They take a squirrel and play the sparrow. They ring the bell and brace for the bears.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *the scale tips and he places chum buckets in front of your cards*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Whew! 'Kay, first of all screw you. Second of all, nice try baby. The bird flies. Third of all, prepare for GOD."

*They grab a squirrel and slam down the mantis god in the one free space. They sit back and ring the bell. No bears. Only buckets. This was good. This was fine.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *when the buckets are destroyed the summon great whites*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"THOSE ARE FREAKING SHARKS! First you steal the closest thing I have to a friend here, now you're sending SHARKS?"

*They almost screech*

"This is no better than the bears."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: correct they're worse.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*Eyes narrowed, they took a card from the deck, an ant worker, and rang the bell as the sharks took out the elk and stoat.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *the sharks go under water and I lose*
0 ups, 10mo
"HA! Even with your sharks, you're WEAK old man."

*They held out their hand*

"My Stinkbug, if you'd please."
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *a hook appears on the ant*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
*They draw another card, Loaz. They opted to save the beast for phase two, simply ringing the bell again and letting the angler take the ant. At least this time around, the stinkbug had been spared.*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: go fish.
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
“I’ll pretend I know what that means.”

*they drew a squirrel and replayed the stoat*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *I'm near defeat*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
“Let’s just do this the easy way.”

*They took the pliers and tore out a tooth. They dropped it casually onto the scale and drew the stunted wolf. They rang the bell.*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *the scale tips and I place chum buckets down*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
*Loaz sacrificed the stoat to play the deathcard, ringing the bell.*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *the buckets break*
0 ups, 9mo
"Alright, sharks now. Thank god for bi-strike. I could use a board clear."

*They let the sharks take out the cards to either side of the deathcard, the stinkbug and the ant queen. They shrugged and drew a squirrel to re-replay the stoat.*

:Oh, give me a break.:

"No breaks in this deck except for your mental stability, bud."
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: He is pathetic. magnificus deservers his role not that idiot.
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
"Well, I'd like to see you make a whole tabletop storyline out of a card game."

(P03 then made a whole tabletop storyline out of a card game)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: I will.
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
"Then after that, maybe I'll judge who's really more deserving."

*They leaned over the board and tapped the bell.*

"Anyways, your turn. The squirrel ball is yours."
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: ugh.
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
*They snicker and draw a null conduit. They play it and destroy it with the hammer to have the bones needed to play the zombie. Before they place it down to move the bolthound, though, they gesture to the plasma jimmy card.*

"So the gun's sigil is pay energy to shoot whatever's in front of it, so, at the very least I can weaken this thing."

*They tap the sigil and it deals a point of damage to the bolthound. They feel immediate guilt and just throw the zombie down and ring the bell*
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: at least this dumb mutt has some use. *plays another leapbot*
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
"Ah well, can't shoot at an open space."

*They tap at the button on Plasma Jimmy with the dog having moved on to block the zombie.*

"Wouldn't that make this quick and easy?"

*They draw a hawk*

"Ah, and wouldn't ya know! Quick and easy."

*They sacrifice the stoat and zombie for the hawk and ring the bell*

(Actual Plasma Jimmy lore: P03 ripped a guy's head off, placed a gun on the decapitated body, and called it a day. The guy's head was thrown to the Melter, which is why has that second voice, and when its card 'melts,' it leaves behind a meatbot. The console arg is a damn rollercoaster.)
0 ups, 6mo,
2 replies
(oh damn)
0 ups, 6mo
*Nudge*))
0 ups, 6mo
(Yeah. I'd recommend looking into it. It doesn't add much lore-wise, but it's definitely interesting and just fun)
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
*you see there are FIVE lanes*
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
"Uh, I have a question."

They raised their hand a bit.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
PO3: what?
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
"I think you added an extra lane."
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
PO3: I sure did. *they seem proud*
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
"Why?"

They didn't exactly mind the extra space, but it was still weird.
0 ups, 2mo,
1 reply
PO3: why not?
0 ups, 2mo,
1 reply
"Just seems out of nowhere I guess? I mean hey, the more cards in play to beat your metal ass with, the better!"

They placed down the vessel in the center space and rang the bell
0 ups, 2mo,
2 replies
PO3: *plays a sentry at the left spot*
0 ups, 2w
(yo should we keep this bad boy going?)
0 ups, 2mo
They draw a shieldbot and play the 49er to the right of the vessel.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *it is a card symbol and I place three cards facing down on the table*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They flip the cards*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *a death adder, a cat, and a wolf cub.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"What do these symbols mean. Do you have like, a guidebook or a notepad I could use? Because this is getting confusing..."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *hands them a book*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They flip through the pages of images, finding the sigils for each card.*

"So, another, cheaper wolf, an infinite sacrifices glitch, and instant death. Hmmm..."

*Loaz cycled through the options. If everything would be as simple as that first game, an adder didn't seem needed. Though, something told them it would be much harder later. The cat though, might make things a bit easier. Glancing back to the cards they'd set aside, they really didn't want to tick off the stoat any further by killing it again. They hardly considered the last option before taking the cat*

"I assume I'm only getting one."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: mhm. *I take back the other two cards*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Alright. Moving on then."

*They once more moved a space forward*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *It splits into two paths a backpack and a strange stone symbol*
0 ups, 10mo
*They glance between the two symbols, one looking arguably much more interesting than the other. They headed down the path with the strange stone, intrigued*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
*they see another glowing rune*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
(I love how the Goobert room was just Loaz taking a break from being the worst to make friends.)

*They touch the rune*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
(yeah)
*they are teleported to a room with a head on a spike*
???: hello.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"OH! Goodness! What the heck happened to you?"

*They jumped. At this point they should've been desensitized to this sort of thing, but they supposed they just weren't expecting it here.*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: can we just get this over with? I got a deck position to fill.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Oh. Right. Of course. Sorry."

*They chuckled, shaking their head and quickly getting used to things. They draw, ruby mox, field mice, warren, sarcophagus. They place down the mox as the only thing they could play and hit the bell*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: *plays ruby mox and golem*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
*They drew a sentry drone, which they immediately sacrificed for the warren. They used the given rabbit to play the field mice, ringing the bell*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: really a rat?
0 ups, 7mo
"Two rats. That multiply into four. Then six, and so on until it gets out of hand!"

*They chuckled*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
(Just was taking a break from imgflip)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
that's fair. sorry for badgering))
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
(It's okay)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
Take as much time off as you need))
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
(Yea just a few more days ad I'll fully be back)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
aight. I'll see you then!))
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
(Back)
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
(welcome back)
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
(Thx for being patient)
0 ups, 9mo
(Of course! shall we carry on?)
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
???: who doesn't look up to the master?
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
“I could name one or two people…”

*They shrugged*

“Speaking of Magnificus, I’m on my way to challenge him now. I’m guessing you’re one of the guys I have to beat to get there.”
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
???: of course and if I win the master will let me be part of his deck!
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
"He'll turn you into a card? Last time I saw something like that, it was more of a punishment."

*They chuckle*

"Anyways, let's play."
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
*a deck of cards appear out of nowhere*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
*They let out a little awestruck chuckle before taking out their own deck. Stoat, squirrel, l33pb0t, hawk. They played the stoat and rang the bell*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
???: *plays a ruby mox*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
*They drew the left broken obol piece (The one with spiky I believe). They rang the bell*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
???: *Plays training wizard*
0 ups, 8mo
*They drew a sentry drone, placing down it and the l33pb0t and sacrificing both for the hawk and ringing the bell*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: thank you....
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Don't mention it. Now let's keep this going, shall we?"
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: of course. .....may I know your name....?
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"It's Loaz. You?"
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Goobert: I think goobert? it's been not that long after all. well at least I think....
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"What do you mean 'Not that long'?"
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Goobert: I mean I think I've been here for only a week or two...? yeah a week he would have brought me out if any longer then a week.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"He? So Magnificus DID put you here?"

*Loaz's grip tightened on their cards*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Goobert: well yes the master did he said it was to "prove my worth" but I am sure any day now he'll come.
0 ups, 7mo
"If he doesn't, I will. And you can count on that."

*They promised, taking in a deep breath to calm the ever growing frustration in the Scrybe they were headed to beat. At least the conversation gave them all the more desire to kick his ass. They drew a wolf pup from the deck.*

"Let's just keep this going before I bend these cards."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: well you act like more of a teacher then magnificus at least.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
*They smile a bit*

"The others said the same. God, am I gonna have to coin flip it when I get to choosing who to replace?"
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: well whatever you choose I'm rooting for you!
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Hey, even if I don't get rid of him, we'll be on equal footing. Maybe I'll be able to talk him out of being a bitch."

*They ring the bell*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: *chuckles* I doubt it!
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
“Won’t stop me trying.”

*They shrug*

“Rest assured, no more voids.”
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: I know. and hopefully!
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
That starts, though, with getting this over.”

*They poked their stoat. At least these ones didn’t scold them. That made up for its lower health*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: *he plays randomly*
0 ups, 7mo
"You're getting the hang of it."

*They nod and draw a sarcophagus, placing down their ruby mox as defense*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: *laughs* hello there human!
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Hi, hello, how's the... burning things going?"

*They look at the melted clumps of metal traveling down the line*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: amazing! would you like to try it?
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"As in running the machine or being melted?"
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: well it's your choice.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Yeah, sounds fun and all either way, but I do have a Scrybe I gotta beat and I gotta look my best and not all burnt or whatnot for when I kick it's ass so..."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: ah very well but I assure you I will not lose!
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Well good luck keeping that promise."

*squirrel, steelmice, stoat, sarcophagus. They play the stoat off the bat and ring the bell*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: a rodent?
0 ups, 7mo
"Actually I think they're related to ferrets. Your boss was one of these for a bit."
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
Kaycee: *plays two skeletons*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
They draw the mage pupil and place it down with the ruby mox to keep it alive*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
Kaycee: *the skeletons collapse*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
*They draw a hawk and ring the bell, seeing no real reason to change their board*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
Kaycee: ah.... *she doesn't place anything letting the scale tip*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
"Gg. Dunno what exactly to be careful about, but you seem alright so I'll respect your wishes and keep an eye open."

*They shove their cards back in their pocket.*

"At least as best as I can."
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
Kaycee: thank you. *hands them a deck and part of the tombs*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
*Broken obol pt. 2, draugr, bone heap, wolf pup, automaton. Shey shoved the cards into the deck and took the chunk of the tombstone.*

"Thanks."

*They stepped out of the room and slid the slab of stone into one of the tombstones.*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
...
0 ups, 8mo
“Now to find piece three.”

*They swivel on their heel and wander to the opposite side of the crypt*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: we both make mistakes. *next turn they are going to play coyote and wolf pup*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They draw a squirrel and ring the bell*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *the mule blocks the coyote and the wof pup is played*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They draw another squirrel to play the ant queen, as well as the stinkbug with the collected bones. They place the stinkbug to kill the wolf pup and the ant queen to once more attack the mule. They ring the bell*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *teeth add to the scale and the mule dies*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*The mule's pack grants a squirrel, sparrow, magpie, and coyote. They place down the sparrow and end their turn*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *the scale tips and I turn their cards into gold nuggets*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Well, full board. Nothin' I can do."

*They grab a squirrel and ring the bell to wait.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *plays a blood hound*
0 ups, 10mo
*They take another squirrel as the bloodhound kills one of the gold nugget cards. They place a squirrel in the open space's defense and ring the bell.*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
Leshy: the film is deadly not the camera.
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
“Wonderful. Well, I’ll go deal with your lackeys real quick and I’ll be right back.”

*They tucked the camera into their pocket and skipped out the door.*

“Alright, who gets to suffer first?”
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
*they see the fisher fishing*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
“Helloooo.”

*Loaz approached the angler*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
Angler: hello.
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"So... I've kinda gotta beat you so I can beat your boss so uh, shall we get this thing rollin'?"

*They pulled their deck out of their pocket.*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
angler: you wish to fight leshy fish?
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Yup, that's the plan."
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
Angler: alright. *takes out his deck and the battle starts*
0 ups, 9mo
*They set up, quickly realizing there's no separate squirrel deck. Squirrel drawing was up to random chance. Shrugging, they drew their cards. Stoat, two squirrels, and an added.*

"This is new. Heck, the stoat's even got less health."

*They shrugged and played the stoat, ringing the bell*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: my boss was a rat?
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Again, a ferret thing, but yeah. Leshy made it into a card for a bit. It was lucky I was competent and unkillable enough to get it out of there but is it grateful?"
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: I think they're more anoyyed they needed help.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"I suppose. I wouldn't put it past them. I'd probably be too if I'm honest."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: *plays a bolthound*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
(The trio of dog owners is complete)

*They draw a sentry drone and play it*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: isn't this dog brilliant?
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"It's something, and I mean that in the best way possible."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: please don't destroy it too fast I want it to live a little.
0 ups, 7mo
"I'll try to dodge around it."

*They draw a hover mage and ring the bell*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: thanks
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"I always feel a bit bad killing the dogs. Like, what kinda f**ked up thing am I? Killing dogs for the sake of a card game? That's some supervillain shit."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: exactly!
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"No wonder Magnificus is such an ass. HIS deck doesn't include a dog!"

(we did it guys, we found out the reason he sucks!)
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: it doesn't!?
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"It doesn't! Like, where's my magical dog familiar? I'd use the hell outta that thing! Maybe he's still salty about being a dog. Miserable life that bush leads."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: so true.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Dog cards are a 10/10 from me. Unfortunately the card packs hate me so the closest I got is a wolf pup. But perhaps one day RNGesus will bless me. Anyways, your turn."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: I would let you win but after I would have to toss myself into the furnace. *plays a leapbot*
0 ups, 7mo
"Is jumping onto the conveyor belt like, protocol when you lose?"
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *the scale tips and he is one hit away from losing he plays a coyote against the stoat destroying it* (yep)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"You suck."

*They take a squirrel and ring the bell without playing anything. They'd won regardless.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *He makes the shadows disappear around his hand and he flips them off as the scale tips to their side*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"I- Okay, fair."

*They gathered up the cards*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *the shadows are back now and you can choose a backpack or a card*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Welp, time to find out what the backpack does."

*They moved the piece to the backpack*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *I pull out three items pliers, a squirrel in a jar, and a black goat in a jar.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Uh, okay I kinda get the idea with the squirrel and... goat... but, why pliers? What, am I gonna take the dang scale apart?"

*They looked over the objects, shaking the goat bottle.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: you can tip the scale a bit
0 ups, 10mo
"With... what?"

*They took the goat, settling on that and not entirely sure about the pliers.*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
???: what do you mean?
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
"Well, in a more open board, you spam that thing and it pays for itself when the skeletons die. Maybe not as broken as it could be, but hey, so long as you've got any bones at all, that's essentially infinite damage."

*They shrug and ring the bell*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
???: that's not the intended use though...
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
"I tend to find ways around the 'intended uses.'"

*They chuckle*

"Anyways, it's your turn. Might wanna set something up behind those moxes."

(I believe it's the bone heap that gains damage from bones and the tomb robber that spawns skeletons)
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
???: *plays apprentice mage behind one*
(oh yeah)
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
*They smile and draw a hrokkall. They hit the bell*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
???: what is that?
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
"What is what? This?"

*They displayed the hrokkall, head tilted*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
???: I've never seen it is it rare?
0 ups, 8mo
"Looking at it's border, yes. I think it's an electric eel or something. Kinda weird, isn't it?"
0 ups, 2w,
1 reply
(oh shit sorry. I'm was taking a break and I think we should stop if it's okay with you.)
0 ups, 2w,
1 reply
(Oh yeah, I understand. We can end off here if you want)
0 ups, 2w,
2 replies
(thanks and hey we got pretty far)
0 ups, 2w
(Yeah! And I have never seen a roleplay go on 10 months straight. This was fun!)
0 ups, 2w,
1 reply
(and this roleplay ended up as the basis for Loaz becoming a main oc of mine. Forest-Dwelling Brat with an Immortality Complex was definitely not an oc I expected to make but damn if I'm not glad they exist. I've actually made June 30th, the day we started this thing, their birthday)
0 ups, 2w,
1 reply
(well that is good for you, and hey maybe once my problems are over we can start this where we left off)
0 ups, 2w
(Sure! Take as long as you need. Here's to hoping everything works out. And if you ever want to talk, my memechats are open.)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *puts on a woman mask and pulls out a wolf statue head, a flying body, and a fledgling body*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They grab the flying body, looking it over.*

"Are these those totem things you used forever ago?"
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: yes.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Cool. What are we making fly this time?"

*They held onto the airborne base*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: nothing yet.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Dang it."

*They placed the totem piece by their items and returned to the map*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: loser.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"I don't lose. You just cheat."

*They moved to the next space*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *statue skull* skill issue.
0 ups, 10mo
*Squirrel, long elk, mantis, stinkbug. They played the mantis.*

"What fun new abilities have you given your guys this time around?"
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
(a sign of bad wood. trust me on this)
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
(I'll keep that in mind. Last time I saw one though was a few months back in summer.)
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
(yeah they only really show up when somethings wrong with the wood near your pipes)
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
(Noted. I'll let my parents know.)
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
(alright)
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
(In the meantime, shall we carry on? It's your turn. I just played a skeleton)
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
(first I'm gonna sleep)
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
(Aight, seeya soon then. Sleep well)
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
(I've awakened)
0 ups, 5mo
(Welcome back to consciousness)
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
(why is magnificus such a bitch?)
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
(That's a mystery not even science can explain)
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
(very well as a consolation prize we may continue the roleplay)
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
(Epic)

*They gave a little nod to P03 and turned into the right room. They nearly walked straight into a conveyor belt. They carefully inched around and under it, but not before flicking one of the little bots moving down the line**

"Hello?"

*They called, snickering at the slight echo*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
*they see a robot checking out the conveyer as it works*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Excuse me, sorry to disturb."

*They tapped it's shoulder*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: what do you want human?
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Just a game. I have your boss to humble."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: very well but please make this quick.
0 ups, 7mo
“Of course.”

*L33pb0t, hrokkall, sarcophagus, raven. They played the l33pb0t for hrokkall*
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
PO3: scavenging for scraps. like a mongrel.
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
"Like a roach."
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
PO3: pathetic yet will always return.
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
“Exactly!”

*They grinned proudly*
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
PO3: I guess you can say *it's face becomes a purple figure and it's voice changes* "I always come back".
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
“HA! Maybe I should embrace it. I think I could take five kids in a fight.”
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
PO3: *changes to normal* but can you deal with the guilt?
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
"...I mean, I've been desensitized to a lot, but... Meh, why argue the morals and shit of something I wouldn't do anyways? There's a total of like, three people here who could be considered kids and they've been through enough, so..."

*They shrugged*
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
PO3: *plays a m34tbot*
0 ups, 5mo
*They draw a stoat and sacrifice their steelmice for it. The mice are quickly replaced by their offspring*

"Sometimes I wonder if some sigils were created out of spite."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *the scale has tipped to where I am one hit away from losing I place the coyote and ring the bell still being one hit away*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They take a filler squirrel and ring the bell*

"At least it's calm for a while before you call in the GBFAs."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *pulls out three cards a cat, a death adder, and a cockroach*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"You know we're pulling the undying stoat bit again. History repeats, what can I say."

*They grabbed the cat.*

"And yes, I am absolutely certain."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: alright but I am sure you aren't getting oroburos.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Fair."

*They leaned back and moved their piece to the next space*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *cards or backpack*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Yeah, I'm just gonna keep my teeth. No pliers. Never again."

*They moved to the backpack anyways. They hadn't really gotten to use anything else*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: maybe after you should explore more? *a fan, pliers, and bottle squirrel*
0 ups, 10mo
“Squirrel for future murdering and because I am not getting tetanus twice.”
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
*scale tips*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
"Well played. And uh... sorry again for waking you. Kinda hard to distinguish between a heap of bones and a straight up ghost in this kinda place."
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
Sawyer: let me know if you don't need your legs. or find a wheelchair.
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
"Maybe I don't need 'em. I'll think about it."

(I just realized we forgot the pack from the prospector, though to be fair, Loaz has a way of making people not want to give them things)
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
(well in that case sawyer will give them two)
Sawyer: here have an extra as a thanks. *gives them two packs*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
"Thanks."

*Pack 1: Broken obol, skeleton, necromancer, raven, sentry drone. Pack 2: Sarcophagus, draugr, tomb robber, ruby mox, l33pb0t.*

"Do you mind if I ask about those tombstones? What do I do with 'em?"
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
(I don't know I never got one)
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
(The three tombstones blocking off Grimora. you have to beat the ghouls to get epitaphs for them)
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
(oh those)
Sawyer: you use them to open up grimora's room.
0 ups, 8mo
"Got it. Do I need something for them?"
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: I will offer replacement.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"...Fine."

*Loaz took in a deep breath and tried to steady their hand. They jabbed at their eye, the pain already a thousand times worse than with their tooth. They dug the eyeball out, biting down a shriek they really wanted to let out. They shakily dropped the eye onto the scale, gasping for breath. They felt for a squirrel card, slamming down the stoat and ending their turn. They clutched to their face, curled in on themself.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *opens a box full of eyes* pick your choice.
(you can pick magic eye or the goat eye for funny)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
(I thought the eye was replaced at the end of the fight)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
(yeah but we know that loaz isn't going to win)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
(Fair.)

*They take the glowing eye, placing it into the empty socket. It felt strange, but it worked. They weren't about to question the logic behind it. They ignored the throbbing in their head and took another card, the cockroach. They placed it down and rang the bell*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: how do you feel?
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"I feel fine. Just... a little lightheaded. Things are swirling a little bit. I am seeing patterns that I'm certain are not really there..."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: how many fingers am I holding up? *flips them off*
0 ups, 10mo
"One very offensive one."

*They rang the bell again*

"You can carry on kicking my ass now."
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(what was this one again?)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(The Dredger. You don't technically fight him since he's a little busy pulling up parts of Satan's search history)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(skip to the annoying boss fight?)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(guess so. Let's go bully a rectangle!)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(I'm not joking when I say he wrecked me)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(Same. It made me especially pissed because he's an asshole. I can handle losing to Magnificus because he was made to be excessively difficult, but this guy? Your ass doesn't get to comment on my bad playing HERE. I can make the ending of this game happen WAY earlier if I wanted and your pixelated ass knows it!)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(exactly!)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
"You are a square. You don't deserve an entire act. Great Transcendence? Why don't you transcend yourself to some bitches instead?)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(and he calls leshy pathetic I mean at least leshy kinda killed us not just some dumb "oh you lost your money better go get it back!")
0 ups, 6mo
(Your supposed to be the gameplay guy! Leshy let me spam fecundity ouroboroses. You make me make actually balanced custom cards. Step up your game. Oh wait, you can't cuz you have no legs)

(I have no right to be slandering P03. It's literally one of my favorite scrybes after Grimora)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *places a bee*
(no TV stoat is the only true stoat!)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
(Valid)

"My old friends..."

*They take a squirrel and sacrifice the cat for the stoat*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: bees.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Precisely. I was a beekeeper y'know. Can't be hurting my own little guys."

*They ring the bell*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: alright. *places a bee hive and the scale is even and they ring the bell*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They take a wolf from their deck, sacrificing their squirrel and the cat to play it, they ring the bell*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *I am now one hit away from losing and place a bee behind a bee*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
(It's all bees, it's always been BEES)

*They take a squirrel and play the river snapper just for that sweet sweet overkill damage, and ring the bell*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
(I'm just doing what he always does to me)
???: normally too much damage is a bad thing but in my game it is rewarded. *he adds gold teeth to a pail*
0 ups, 10mo
"Good, I'll be taking advantage of it."

*They gather up their cards and move forward to the next space*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
Sawyer: you need to get the other parts.
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
"Ok. Well, you enjoy being a heap. I'm gonna go politely wreck your coworkers."

*Loaz backed away from Sawyer into a room to the side*
(Kaycee's ghoul fr underrated as heck. Gotta be one of my favorite barely relevant minor characters)
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
*they see a skeleton with a chunk of ice in it's head*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
"Hey."

*They greet the skeleton, slinking a bit deeper into their jacket from the chill that seemed to surround the ghoul*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
Kaycee: why are you here?
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
“To play you. Challenger stuff, taking over as a Scrybe, all that jazz.”
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
kaycee: ah... just be careful.
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
“Oh really? Why?”

*Their head tilted*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
Kaycee: .. nevermind let's just get this over with. *takes out their deck*
0 ups, 8mo
*Squirrel, raven, ruby mox, skeleton. They played the squirrel and skeleton, sacrificing both for the raven and ringing the bell*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
(sorry just some shit at home)
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
(It's fine. Take all the time you need)
0 ups, 8mo,
2 replies
(thank you so much)
0 ups, 8mo
(Of course! I totally understand and I'll be here when you're ready.)
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
Things still going alright my guy?))
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
(yeah just need a day or two)
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
(That's fine.)
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
(thx)
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
(I'll check in occasionally just in case)
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
(heyo)
0 ups, 8mo
Hi!)
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
PO3: that I win.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
"How? The scales haven't tipped!"

They sputtered. An instant win? Nonsense. They hadn't even managed to deal their own damage yet.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
PO3: not in that way.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
"Then what in god's name are you talking about? Specify for once! I'm sick of the vagueness!"
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
PO3: *stops the card game and loaz begins to black out*
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
"Wh- What's... going on~"

They felt lightheaded, airy, and yet so heavy all at once. They struggled to keep their balance, opting to lean on Magnificus' pillar instead. their eyes drifted shut, though rather than that rather particular shade of black they'd usually see, it looked staticky, fuzzy. How could a solid color look fuzzy? They didn't have long to ponder that before they drifted out of consciousness.
(Bro gets decompressed. It was not fun)
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
PO3: *makes sure loaz sees their robotic smile*
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
They let out one last little irritated growl, before they were out.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
*Loaz wakes up again at a chair with a realistic PO3 in front of them at the end of a table*
0 ups, 3mo
It took Loaz a moment to process, to fully regain consciousness after the decompression. They didn't feel quite so flat. That was nice. Then, the sight of that flat blue screen made it to their brain.

"What?"

They Tried to stumble to their feet, but their wrist wrenched against something pinning them down. A shackle. Their hand tensed.

"What's going on? How- How are you-?"

They couldn't get the question out. They were preoccupied with trying to pull their hand loose. It didn't work.
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *they see the camera*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
*They smirk. Perfect.*

"Hey, am I still allowed to get up? There's one more thing I wanna do real quick."
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: sure.
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Wonderful..."

*They get up, marching towards the camera. They pick it up off the shelf and pop the film into it.*

"So what's this do I wonder?"

*Loaz turned back, grinning. They held the camera up to their face.*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: . . . put that down! *attempts to grab the camera*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"I don't think I will!"

*They pressed down on the button to take a picture. There was that familiar flash, though for once, it wasn't them it was aimed at.*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *they are gone all that is left is a card titled "Leshy*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Huh. I never did ask your name, did I?"

*They picked up the card*

"What a game. Now to leave."

*They looked around. Where WAS the way out. Was there really never one to begin with?*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *a glowing card is floating in the middle of the cabin*
0 ups, 9mo
"Huh. What are you?"

*Loaz carefully reached out to touch the card*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *the cards are kingfisher, beaver, otter*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They take the kingfisher and move forward*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *a beartrap*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Another new one."

*They move to it*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *puts on a mask* want some pelts? *takes out the teeth they earned and pulls out three pelts types rabbit, wolf, golden*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Pelts..."

*They look down at their tooth supply and take one golden and one rabbit* (Wasn't keeping count so I'm just sorta guessing here)

"Had the feeling those excess teeth would be used for something."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: also heres one on the house. *hands them a rabbit pelt*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Thanks."

*Loaz shuffled the pelts into their deck and carried forward*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *boss fight*
0 ups, 10mo
"Okay, just don't die. Sounds easy enough."

*Squirrel, stinkbug, mantis god, elk fawn. They place down the fawn between a strange frog and leaping trap, pausing before ringing the bell. Maybe they could pull a tooth, get ahead before even starting. They take the pliers, brace themself, and tug a tooth free. At least they'd handled it before. It didn't feel quite as bad, even if it still hurt like all hell. They rang the bell for real.*
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: ha. ha.
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
"I'm hilarious, I know."

*they smirked.*

"Though, I did end up associating myself with a cockroach so who's really winning here?"
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: true.
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
"But hey, bugs are cool, right?"

*They shrugged as the board inched their squirrel ball ever closer to the other side of the board*

"You don't mind squirrels, do you?"
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: stop talking. *plays a meatbot*
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
"I don't know how to do that."

*They draw a cat and play the Plasma Jimmy in the far right spot.*

"So the kid in the void wasn't far off. There IS a gun card."
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: who?
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
"One of Magnificus's students. Tall, just eyes, lives in a senseless void, you get the picture."
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: asked.
0 ups, 6mo
"Hey, if you lose, do you throw yourself on the conveyor belt like the others? Cause if so, maybe I better up the effort."

*They gritted*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
(Oh shit yeah sorry it's been a while since I played lol)
???: wait I have some cards
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Huh?"

*They sat up*

(Dw, I wouldn't have remembered either)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *takes out three cards a mole, a grizzly bear, and a black goat*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Jeez! Who made the bear cost a thousand sacrifices. I've never even had that many cards on the board."

*They examined the bear card, then to the goat*

"I could use the bottle goat but... two goats though... Screw it, we're going bear. I get to keep the bottle goat, right?"
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: you can only use it once
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Dang it."

*They gritted, tucking the bear into the deck*

"For later, then. Last resort bear."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: alright. *takes the cards back and puts out another set a coyote, a wolf, and a mantis*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Coyote's cheap, mantis... hits funny, and the wolf is ✨iconic.✨"

*They took the mantis. Maybe it'd be good for another sacrifice stone thingy.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *I take the cards back*
0 ups, 10mo
"Actual cards acquired. Moving on then?"
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Po3: you?
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
“Mhm, I survived the tower.”

*They looked around*

“ So, who am I beating here?”
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Po3: the tech scrybe.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"No like, before I beat you. I can see what it is you make. You got like, henchmen?"
0 ups, 7mo,
2 replies
Po3: workers.
0 ups, 7mo
"Got it. That way?"

*They point to a nearby door*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
*poke*))
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
(whomst has awaken me from my slumber?)
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
(It is I)
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
(ah answer a riddle and you may live)
0 ups, 7mo
(What's the riddle?)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *this time there is a heart symbol with a two next to it*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Increased health I assume. Okay, who can we make into a tank? How about..."

*They took the stunted wolf.*

"Try not to die, alright, pal?"

|If I must...|

*They placed the card by the fire*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: do you keep it there? it is risky.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"~No... This thing's a little too sentient."

*They took the card back.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: alright
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*they move to the next space*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *a skull*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*Squirrel, Pest, stinkbug, ant queen. They placed down Pest and rang the bell*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
?/?: *places a skink in front of pest*
0 ups, 10mo
*As pest attacked, the skink dropped its tail. They took a squirrel and rang the bell.*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: now for the finale. *takes out three cards, urayuli, mole man, slime thing*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"No Tim going into the finale. That's fine. What is this thing?"

*They grabbed the slime.*

"Your amoeba's lookin' off."
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: take out your eye and I'll give you tim. *takes out the knife*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"So we're just making trades now. So be it. The things I do for these guys."

*Loaz took a deep breath and jabbed their eye out. It'd be replaced. Reminding themself of that helped to get through the pain. Perhaps they'd overreacted last time.*

"I expect a whole lotta gratitude from that bug, I swear."
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *hands them tim without buffs*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"That's just fine. Just having him back makes this worth it."

*They tucked the card back into the deck.*

"Join your godly brethren."
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *takes out the eye box*
(goat eye or magic eye)
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
*They plucked out a strange eye with a sideways pupil.*

"I'm not even going to ask."

*They placed it into the socket and carried on forward.*

"Now let's get this moving."
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *trial of the ring, trial of rarity, trial of skin*
0 ups, 9mo
"What are these?"

*They examine the offered cards*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *a shark, kingfisher, and turtle*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
“My own vile beast. C’mere!”

*They took the shark

“I will make this thing worse somehow.”

*Loaz moved forward*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *mushroom or totem battle*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Okay, flying dogs versus whatever you've made this time."

*They move to the battle*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: * a spikey reptile totem*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Ah, my scalier kin."

*Squirrel, ouroboros, skink, ant. They placed down the skink and rang the bell.*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *I place a frog in front of the skink*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
*The frog attacks after the skink, killing it before it could drop its tail. With an irritated sigh, Loaz takes a squirrel and rings the bell*

"Frogs aren't even reptiles. Why are they affected? This is bull- ...frog."
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: my game my rules.
0 ups, 9mo
*They roll their eyes as the frog adds a tooth to their side, grabbing another squirrel to play the ouroboros. They then sacrifice it for the ant to reset the scales. They ring the bell.*

"Well, if it were MY game, I'd keep the categorization accurate."

(Tab for current ouro stats so I don't forget them because god knows I inevitably will: 6/6)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: since you are learning I shall pass.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Right, right."

*They took the last non-squirrel from the deck, a river snapper. It was too expensive to play and, looking at the scales, wouldn't be worth it anyways. They rang the bell, just wanting to get the game over with.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *the scale tips to my side and you win*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"That's game, right? I can go now?"

*They stood up from the chair, gathering up their cards face down. They couldn't quite bring themself to look at them.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: nope we're not done.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"What do you mean? I played your game and I won."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: you won a battle not the game.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Oh we're doing that, then. Fine, let's go then."

*Loaz sat back down, clinging to the cards in their hand tightly*

:Would you loosen up a bit? Haven't you done enough damage?:

*They startled. A voice. An unmistakably existing voice. They looked down at their cards, particularly a very angry-looking stoat.*

"I-is that... Is it-"

:'Is It TaLkIng? Yes! And YOU sacrificed me while I was SLEEPING!:
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *I stare at them*
0 ups, 10mo
"Uh, the card's are- are you hearing this?"

:Don't tell HIM!:

"Nevermind! I'm hearing nothing and it's fine. Let's move on why don't we..."

*They glanced briefly to the stoat, confused and almost scared, before moving their little wooden person to the next icon on the board*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: *the scale tips*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Good game, bud."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: you know I can tell how many days we've been here. ain't much to do besides count the days.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"How long then?"

*They fixed their posture*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: five f**king years.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"FIVE YEARS? Goobert said it was weeks? You've been here years? What is that damn bush's plan with you cuz it sure as hell isn't making cards!"
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: hah believe me this is child's play to how long we're meant to stay here.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Someone's gotta do something about this. Has anyone tried to?"
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: no one in their right mind.
0 ups, 7mo
"I mean, I suppose the other Scrybes were a bit busy being cards to have done anything."

*They sighed*

"But hey, with you beaten, I'm off to take down Magnificus. Good ol' stunted wolf. I give that thing a flight totem and hp and this was what he was doing with his life. Disappointing."

*they shake their head like a disapproving parent*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: a sigil he didn't paint hah I doubt he liked that.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Well he didn't complain, thank god. I had enough issues dealing with that ever-chatty stoat."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: the robot?
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Mhm. Even when it was a card it's ego was through the roof."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: some things never change.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Yeah. I ought to get get going. The faster I beat Magnificus, the faster I can get back to bullying other people of higher status than me."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: *nods and you are back but now a staircase has opened*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
*Their smile flips into a frown and they climb the stairs purposefully rather loudly. They throw open the door to the top room*

"Alright, Bushy Bitch, we've got issues!"
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnifubitch: *painting*
0 ups, 7mo
*They march up to Magnificus and give him a 'polite nudge' (passive-aggressive shove)*

"Hi."
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
(I can always just bring them back)
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
(Spare them for now)
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
(fine)
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"C'mere! I need to bully an old man even more than I already have!"

*They clapped for the dog.*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
*maybe the dog will come for meat*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Guess we're off to find some bait."

*They dashed off in what they assumed was the right direction, and eventually found their way back to the cabin*

"Maybe Leshy's still got some of that stuff laying around decaying."

*Loaz flung the door open.*

"You still got that pile of rotting meat? I gotta find a man's dog."
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
Leshy: at least someone will like it. *hands them the yule log*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Thank you!"

*They dip out of the cabin, laying the yule log out in front of the trees.*

"I'm going to have to wash my hands..."
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
*soon the bloodhound finds the yule log*
0 ups, 9mo
"Isn't that cute? I needed some of this for once. Say cheese, bud."

*They snapped a picture of the dog.*

"Now to get you back..."

*They clapped for the dog and marched off back to the prospector. If or not it was actually following, they hadn't thought to confirm. Even if not though, they still had proof that it was found at least*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *the scale tips*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Try more of your flying bears next time maybe. Or are you saving those for yet another bossfight?"

*They gathered up their cards.*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *a mole man, geck, and urayuli*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"A free 1/1 is definitely abusable, though cheap god tier defense is also great. To be honest though, with this deck, I don't know how much I'll even use it."

*They took the geck.*

"You will grow to be absolutely horrible, my son. Harrison will teach you well."
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: Harrison?
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"My ouroboros, remember? Maybe I should start writing down their names."

*They moved to the next space*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *cards*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"What do we got this time?"

*They moved onto the space*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *wolf, bear, mantis*
0 ups, 9mo
"Wolves are solid, but like, more bi-strike terror beasts. I can't pass up making your life harder."

*They took the mantis.*

"It's like a mini Tim."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: alright *next is the fisher boss*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They practically choke on their own spit. Just the thought of the eight bears, the very reasoning they were back here, brought that shaken feeling right back. At least they'd been humbled a bit.*

"Just take it slow. You'll be fine."

*They pulled out their cards, squirrel, stinkbug, elk fawn, mantis god.*

"...Not yet."

*Loaz placed down the squirrel for the fawn and rang the bell.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *I play a kingfisher*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They take a card, the stoat. They rang the bell. Just stall for the stoat and stinkbug.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: fresh fish. *a hook symbol is now on the fawn*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Hands off."

*Loaz snipped. The fawn grows to an elk. They grab a squirrel to play the stoat and stinkbug and ring the bell*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *they take the stinkbug to their side*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"NO!"

*They cried.*

"SHE WAS CHILL!"

*They clutch to the mantis god and took a normal card. Sparrow. They rang the bell.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *smiles*
0 ups, 10mo
"Scale status?"

*They moped*
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: rats.
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
“Mice.”

*They corrected*

“Computer mice.”
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: rats.
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
“…Well, you made ‘em so I can’t argue with that.”

*They shrugged, ringing the bell*
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: exactly.
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
“Exactly. And in making them, you also made a big mistake.”
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: the only mistake here is you.
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
“Funny, Magnificus said the same.”
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: he's a scrybe for a reason.
0 ups, 6mo
“I didn’t realize being a jerk was part of the criteria. Makes me wonder how Grimora made it. Or maybe she’s just really good at hiding it.”
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
(man I wish my father wasn't shit)
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
(Oh? What's his deal?)
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
(you sure? it's f**ked up.)
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
(If you don't feel comfortable sharing, you don't have to. It's up to you)
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
(all I'm going to say is he's in prison for life because of it)
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
(Oh geez. Whatever he did, at least he's locked up. I hope you're alright.)
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
(therapy is a god send)
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
(Agreed. Glad you're getting the help you need)
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
(me too)
0 ups, 7mo
(And hey, if you ever need someone to talk to about anything, I'm here for you.)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: alright and first some cards. *places three cards a ant, a death adder, and a beehive*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They looked at the ant*

"What's up with its attack? It's just a picture of an ant."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: you might figure that out.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Yeah, right, I'm gonna go get the safe bug real quick. Let me just..."

*They stood up, marching over to the safe*

"Uh, book, right. It was what, 273?"

*Loaz spun the dials, safe clicking open. They took the Stinkbug from inside*

{Oh, hello-}

"Iron crypt, yeah. Welcome to the team, sis... why do you look different too?"

{Ah, he got you, didn't he?}

"Got- Oh. Yeah. Yeah, he did."

*They placed the stinkbug onto the deck and carried on looking. They never did figure out the other puzzle. They walked over to the slider puzzle, kneeling down to look at it*

"The numbers. What do they mean?"
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
(f**k I can't remember I've gotten so used to kaycee's mod)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
(It was the little do the 5 damage indicated to open the drawer thing. I don't remember how it goes either so frick it, we ball. Too lazy to check the wiki so I think it was like 2 ants, an ant queen, and the caged wolf.)

*Loaz flicked things around, pressing buttons and hoping. The first seemed simple enough, deal 5 damage with the values given, they presumed. The drawer clicked open, containing a second ant.*

"Your weird puzzle thing's a little bit ant-infested."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: oh.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Yeah, can I keep this?"

*They'd already moved on to the next puzzle*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: sure.
0 ups, 10mo
"Cool. Ooh!"

*The second drawer popped open, an ant queen instead of a regular worker sat inside. They grabbed it and crouched down to the third, though this one seemed a tad bit more complex, involving loose tail sigils among other things. They hadn't even seen that one.*

"Screw it, we ball."

*They spammed through random options, the drawer eventually coming loose, adding another worker ant to the deck. Now the last one. The real final boss.*

"That's just not even comprehensible."

(I'll be real, I've never solved the last one without just random spamming. I have tried countless time to solve it legitimately. I just cannot so I just click until it works)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
???: *robotic laughter*
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
"I did make a promise to the students so I guess it works out. 'Course I gotta get there first."
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
???: now shall we finish this?
(want to skip to the end?)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(Sure)

"Yes, why don't we?"
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
???: . . . . . . ah f**k.
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
"Nice- right. This is the part where you... y'know..."

*They frowned, glancing over the edge of the bridge to the underpassing conveyor.*
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
???: live by the flames die by the flames. grant me the honor of dying with a meme. *hangs by the bars* brother help me!
(simba time)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
*They nod solemnly, placing their hands over the melter's.*

"Long live the king."

*They push it off the ledge*

(\I'm drawing this bit, 100%)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
???: *smiles as It plumets and soon lays down and get's melted*
0 ups, 6mo
"Truly a great robot. You will be remembered."

*Loaz sighed and shook their head. A trapdoor had opened on the other side of the bridge. They crossed and stood at its edge.*

"Yeah, I can survive that. My turn I guess."

*They fell backwards down into the dredging room, hitting the ground with a thud.*

"Ow- jeez, did P03 HAVE to make the floors metal? And was this REALLY the best way down here?"

*They stood and brushed themself off*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: you're almost a pathetic as that slimy fellow.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
“Don’t talk about Goobert like that.”

*They snipped*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: and who's going to stop me?
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
“I will!”

*They slammed their hands down on the table, pausing for a second to put the cards back in place*

“I don’t need some op cards to kick your ass!”
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: finally a good reason to send someone to a void!
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
“You plan to send me to the void? If you’re gonna do something like that, be sure to make my trial something cool.”

*They grinned tensely*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: maybe you get to watch my students until they either die or get freed. you'll see them but they won't see you.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
“Oh that’s f**ked. You’re terrifyingly good at this torture method thing.”

*They half-chuckled. That would certainly be effective. They shrugged it off. Not like they’d need to worry about something like that. They were going to win and if they didn’t get those students out themself, they’d find some other way.*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: so do you wish to continue or go to the void.
0 ups, 7mo
“I’d personally rather finish this.”

*They tapped the board*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *plays a wolf*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*The wolf kills another gold nugget. They take another squirrel and play two for the magpie. They chuckle. Surely this wasn't allowed.*

"You did not just let a card exist that lets me choose whatever I want. You're so lucky I only get to keep it for this fight."

*They sift their deathcard out of the deck*

"Before I do anything, you are CERTAIN that this is allowed, yes?"
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: it is allowed.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Oh that's broken."

*They grinned, sacrificing the bird for the deathcard and rang the bell*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *the bloodhound jumps in front of it*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Bifurcated strike, dumbass! Your dog can't save you!"

*They paused mid cackle*

"Your wolf does steal my hopes of overkill damage though. Ah well."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: f**k.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"F**k indeed."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *the scale tips*
0 ups, 10mo
"Okay, what do we got?"
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: kaycee is here?
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
“Yeah. That ghoul in Grimora’s crypt. What about her?”
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: nothing of your concern.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
“Oh don’t give me that again. I’m asking out of concern.”
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: well both kaycee and my students are none of your damn concern.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
“Oh well if we’re bringing the students into this, I just want you to know that your methods of ‘teaching’ are actually just ‘torture.’ I think you took the whole ‘school is hell’ thing a tad too literally.”
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: are you the teacher? I think not.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
“Well I very well could be soon enough so I’d watch it.”
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: . . . .
0 ups, 7mo
“That’s what I thought. Lets carry on before I find more reasons to want you set on fire.”

*They turned back to the cards*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: yeah.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*Loaz moved a space forward*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *battle*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*Squirrel, stoat, stunted wolf, ant.*

|I ought to thank you. How has it been?|

:It has been quite bad. I am TRAPPED in the body of a STOAT, in the paper of a card.:

|I can see that. And I have of course set up a way to reset once more.|

:...Go on...:

|Our player friend here... they already hold the key...|

"No clue what you two are on about, but I don't know how much help I'll be. If he pulls the bear thing again, y'all are screwed."

*They pause mid-chuckle. Why was the stoat much more... robotic? They eyes it with intrigue as they placed down the stunted wolf, ringing the bell to end their turn*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *I play a bee*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"You and your bees."

*They take a squirrel and place the stoat down, ringing the bell*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *the stoat kills the bee*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They sigh. It had to be done, much as they disliked it. They took another card from the deck. Stinkbug. They played it beside the other talking cards.*

"And wouldja look at that. The gang's all here."

*They rang the bell*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *I play two more bees*
0 ups, 10mo
*They sigh, taking a squirrel and placing the ant in the final free space, ringing the bell*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: no idea what that is but yes.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Your turn, bush man."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: *plays practice wizard*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
*Unable to play anything and having already drawn their adder, they ring the bell.*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: *plays emerald mox*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
*They draw a ruby mox and with it, play their mage knight*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: *slowly getting cocky as he doesn't play anything*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
*They draw a wolf cub and sacrifice the mage knight for it.*

"Just keep doing nothing like that..."

*They mumble near-inaudibly*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: what?
0 ups, 7mo
“Nothing!”

* They hummed*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
(yesh)
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
(Epic)

*They tap randomly through the tabs that appeared, flinching as a loud noise blared from what would’ve been the volume setting. Swiftly reverting it back to how it was, they noticed a little sigil in the corner, the bone digger sigil.*

“That’s bound to be significant. Shovel noted. How to get out of here…”

*Loaz did their best to retrace the steps that had gotten them into the volume tab in the first place, eventually finding the button to close out of the menu*

“Okay, ominous wizard tower. What next?”
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
*a floor panel glows*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
“Woah… I shoulda come here first rather than getting berated by a computer screen. This is sick.”

*They curiously reached out and touched the panel*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
*they go to a room and sees a jar of goo*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
“Oh! Goodness, you look… miserable. How are you?”

*They crouch down by the jar, feeling their feet squish into a similar goo that coated the floor*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
???: good... *they see a painting of magnifcus and the goo in a jar*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
*They turn to look at the painting, then back to the jar*

“Did you paint this?”
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
???: yes do you like it?
0 ups, 8mo
*Loaz nods*

“It looks great! I take it you look up to Magnificus quite a bit?”
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
(po3 just be petting the bolthound menacingly)
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
(P03, truly the icon we all needed. Anyways, shall we resume the rp?)
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
(of course)
Sawyer: ugh... *wakes up* I was dreaming of having my legs again... what do you want?
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Shall we play? I've got bosses to beat and jobs to steal and apparently that means everyone's gotta lose so..."
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
Sawyer: fine. *takes out their deck*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
*Squirrel, stoat, gravedigger, stoat 2: the sequel. They play the first stoat and the gravedigger*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
Sawyer: *plays bonehound and it mauls the stoat*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Damn, does everyone here have dogs?"

*They draw an adder and kill the gravedigger for the second stoat.*
0 ups, 9mo,
2 replies
Sawyer: *tries to shrug*
0 ups, 9mo
*The bonehound takes out the second stoat. Loaz draws a squirrel and rings the bell. They could take the hit until they drew something better*
0 ups, 8mo
where'd you go big man? Taking another break?))
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
PO3: *A hologram loads onto the table* this is Botopia. a once great technological paradise.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
"Mhm."

Loaz fought the urge to say the hologram thing was kinda cool. They would not be stroking this robot's ego. Unfortunately, even if they didn't say the words, their face betrayed a hint of awe.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
PO3: it is ruled by four................. uberbots..... yeah.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
They raised a brow. That hesitation. This was being thought up on the spot, wasn't it. They let slip a tiny chuckle.

"A bit unprepared? Didn't think you'd get this far?"

They teased, tapping the table idly with their clamped hand.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
PO3: at least I didn't get decompressed.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
"I- You- YOU DID! YOU WERE JUST AS PIXELATED AS I WAS, SHITBAG!"

They loudly refuted, pointing a hand in the bot's direction.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
PO3: but I didn't feel it as much.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
"Well, you've gone through it before, haven't you?"

They held up one of their new cards and shook it a little in reference.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
PO3: I suppose so.
0 ups, 3mo
"Precisely. Now. You were saying something about Uberbots?"
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: trials.
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Uh. let's see. I'll go with... rarity. I've got a few rares if that's what it's asking for."
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *tim the mantis god, geck, and skink* you get a boon. *boon of goat's blood you start with a black goat on the board*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Sounds good to me. Free bear."

*They take the boon*

(Oh no)
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *trial of the ring, trial of the winged, trial of the skin*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Let's see the ring. Sounds ominous as heck."
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: your oroburos passes it for you. *boon of the ambidextrous*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Oho, boy. Harrison really is just carrying, isn't he?"

*They took the second boon and moved forward*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *on the board is a cabin* now proceed.
0 ups, 9mo
“Don’t have to tell me twice.”

*They move forward excitedly. Was this it? Had they almost finished?*
0 ups, 4mo,
1 reply
(thanks)
Leshy: *plays coyote*
0 ups, 4mo,
1 reply
Loaz draws a raven, a decent enough counter to the wolf about to be unleashed as soon as the cub aged. At least it'd broken the draugr out. But sparing the skeleton would take the cub down with it... They sighed and rang the bell. The skeleton struck and took out the wolf cub. The stoat hit, then the coyote. They were losing by one, but they could pull it back. This was miles more straightforward than Magnificus or P03.
0 ups, 4mo,
1 reply
Leshy: *plays a stoat*
0 ups, 4mo,
1 reply
They drew an automaton. They placed it down in front of the coyote. They played their banshee beside it, sacrificing it and their own stoat for the raven. They rang the bell.
0 ups, 4mo,
1 reply
Leshy: . . . .
(I am so sorry for taking so long.
0 ups, 4mo,
1 reply
(all good dw)

"What?"

Loaz tilted their head. Almost as if on instinct, they held their breath for a moment. Maybe they were expecting the classic 8 f**king grizzlies trick.
0 ups, 4mo,
1 reply
Leshy; am I not allowed to think before placing a card?
0 ups, 4mo,
1 reply
They grinned. "Of course not. That'd make the game actually strategic. Of course you can. Take as long as you need."
0 ups, 4mo,
1 reply
Leshy: *puts down a snapping turtle*
0 ups, 4mo
They draw another squirrel, playing their steelmice down to counter the coyote.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: you can choose where you want to go on the board or if you wish you can explore my cabin if you get the puzzles right you can unlock new things.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Bet!"

*They sprung up from the chair, looking around with almost childish curiosity at the area around them. Eyes having adjusted, it was much easier to see in the dim candlelight.*

"Safe here needs a code, no idea what these sliders do, totally inconspicuous flashing door..."

*Loaz noted verbally. After a few moments of narrating almost everything that crossed their vision, they sat back down at the table.*

"I just move this little wood dude to the next little icon, right?"

*Without awaiting an answer, they moved the small figure forward*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: correct
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Great! What now?"
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: you choose where to go.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Right, uh..."

*They look down at the board, placing the figure down on the next spot*

"Here..?"
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: yep. *He snaps his fingers and now the board has four rows and he hands them a deck of cards*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"A card game! Nice, I'm good at these."

*They looked over the cards they'd been handed. A squirrel, two wolves, and a stoat.*

"Do I just kinda..."

*They held out the squirrel and hovered it over the 4 spots before them*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: mhm. *the stoat seems strange*
0 ups, 10mo
"Alright. And uh, what do these little drops mean?"

*They pointed at the little red drop at the corner of the stoat card.*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
...
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Okay, guessing that's not the case. Thank god."

*They glanced around the crypt. there was a heap of bones blocking a stairwell. About as normal as they'd expect from a literal tomb. They walked up to it and nudged it*

"Hello? you alive? Or- clearly not. Are you sentient?"
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
(ugh my f**king memory is like a goldfish)
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
(It's Sawyer. One of Grimora's ghouls. The one that got eaten by a dog)
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
(oh yeah. my headcanon is that the prospecter's bloodhound did it)
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
(Mine was that the bonehound he uses did it, died, and got turned into a card. Either way I like that one too.)
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
(wait does the bonehound chew on itself since you know?)
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
(That would be absolutely hilarious)
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
(and then the bloodhound just comes and mauls it)
0 ups, 9mo
(The bolthound is too good for the affairs of flesh and bone creatures. it's out there judging them)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
(thanks)
???: *takes the cards back*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They peek down at their cards.*

:That was excessive even by my standards. How many more times are you going to STAB me in the FACE?:

{Even I'm almost concerned, but such is what had to be done I suppose.}

"Yup, and it was fun- wait, was the buff PERMANENT?"

*They sat up, dropping the two speaking cards to stare dumbfounded at the still-powered ouroboros. Maybe that WAS excessive. They quickly put the cards away and moved their piece forward.*

"Dear god, you are in for it now..."

{Oh dear.}
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: I'm dead aren't I?
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"If all goes well and I get lucky, then yeah. If not, I'll just have to actually try."

*They shrugged*

"Now let's get this show on the road before I get tetanus, because those pliers were DEFINITELY rusted."
0 ups, 10mo,
2 replies
???: sure. *the next is a skull with a hook*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Bossfight two, baby, here we go."

*They shuffle and draw, letting out a loud 'HAH!' as they did. Squirrel, raven, beehive, ouroboros. So long as nothing was turned to gold, this would be(e) easy. They set out the beehive and rang the bell, leg bouncing in impatient anticipation*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *skips the talk and places two kingfishers*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"My old nemeses, back again."

*They drew a squirrel, sacrificing it and the beehive for (Big shocker) the ouroboros, ringing the bell*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *the scale tips to my side and I place a king fisher behind a king fisher*
0 ups, 10mo
"How many GBFAs do you have?"

*They pulled a card, the stoat. Perfect. They replaced the ouroboros and rang the bell*
0 ups, 10mo
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(I will then live in the forest and become IRL leshy)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(My brother and I actually drew out an entire act 1 deck + 20 squirrels and some deathcards. I very logically could just flee into the woods and become Leshy if I wanted)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(the leshy cult)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(You and me, brother. Let's go play dangerous card games in the woods. I'll bring the pliers.)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(I'll bring the flying urayuli)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(Yes! Let the campaign begin!)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(we just need a robot, a woman, and a bush)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(Nah, we need a ferret, a bug, and a dog)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(mr noodles and ivy checks two)
0 ups, 6mo
(I got a dog and I got a collection of bug pictures. One of 'em I know for sure is a stinkbug.)
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *everything fades to black and soon they awaken in a screen with a button titled "new"*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Wha-"

*This is strange. Like a game. An actual game. What WAS this?*

"...Why worry about that now? I won. This game's over. May as well start up a new one"

*They tapped the button.*

"Let's see how this goes."
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
(you know the intro and I'm lazy)
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
(DAMN bro, we playing through this whole game. I was ready for it to end after act 1 but THIS is dedication)

"Where am I now?"

*They looked around, utterly perplexed. Their teeth were back and their eye felt normal*

"What the hell just happened?"
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
*they stand before four pillars and are more pixely*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Huh, where have I seen those faces?"

*They stepped towards each pillar.*

"So he isn't getting taken out either, is he?"

*Loaz snickered, looking up at Leshy's pillar.*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
*it is their choice*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Well, I already know these cards. Not even gonna give that gameboy ferret the pleasure of knowing I give a damn about its cards."

*They took the beast deck from the statue.*

(this was the deck I picked so it's the one I'm familiar with)
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
Leshy: . . . hello again. *they hear leshy's voice in their head*
0 ups, 9mo
"Oh F**K OFF! If I had known I'd be stuck with you in my head AGAIN I'd have picked differently! That deathly pack is lookin' REAL NICE all of a sudden!"

*They shouted at was was technically nothing*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
???: oh.... I'll never win... *plays a emerald mox*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
"Not with that attitude. Way I do it, I just assume I've got it covered even when I absolutely don't, and it usually works out. Optimism is key."

*They draw a stoat and sacrifice the hawk for it.*

"Besides, I think it'd be rude of me to end this so soon."
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
???l ... thank you... *they place a ruby mox and golem*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
"No problem. You seem a bit down and I think my mind is still set to 'be a problem.' "

*They chuckle and draw their own ruby mox, ringing the bell*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
???: I'm just glad I'm not done yet...
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
"I think I'll just let the stoats hold out for now."

*They drew a squirrel and rang the bell*
0 ups, 8mo,
2 replies
???: *their side of the board is full*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
*They draw the tomb robber and look it over, perplexed. They place it down out of curiosity.*

"Weird sigil. Haven't seen one with a button like that. How does that work?"
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
???: maybe check? *a book appears in front of them*
(It can be upgraded with bones)
0 ups, 8mo
"Thanks. "

*They flip through the book until they find what they're looking for*

"Pay a bone to spawn a skeleton. Sounds good to me."

*They tap the card and a skeleton appears in the last open space.*

"I see how quickly this thing can break."
0 ups, 8mo
(imma be real, the only time i used the interactable sigil was to shoot my own cards with plasma jimmy lmao)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: Hello challenger. *the shadows cover everything besides my face*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Challenger... where-? Who are-? What's going on? Am I being kidnapped?"

*Loaz shuffled the chair back, not sure they were allowed to stand up and not quite wanting to*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: Not exactly and you are here to play a game. and if you wish you may stand up.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They curled in, arms wrapped around their knees.*

"Game. That never means anything bad."

*Loaz took a deep breath. They were NOT scared. They would NOT let it seem like they were.*

"What kinda 'game' are we playing? Uno? Go Fish? Monopoly?"
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: not at all we will be playing a game called Inscryption.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Inscryption? Where have I heard of that?"

*They sat up to think for a moment, though they drew only blanks. They shook their head.*

"How do we play?"
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: let me teach you. *the shadow on the table is now gone showing a bell, scale, and board.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Woah..."

*They tap at one side of the scale, watching it bob back and forth for a moment. Fear had been practically replaced by fascination.*

"What kinda D&D type stuff is this?"
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: well you don't have to roleplay but I will only be doing that in boss fights or special sigils.
0 ups, 10mo
"Cool, cool. So, what do I do?"
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: *plays a m34tbot as they work*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
*they draw a banshee and ring the bell*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: *places a leapbot*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
*They draw a stoat and sacrifice the hrokkall for it. They also place down the banshee and take out both for the raven*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: *forgets to place a card*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
*they drew a buff conduit and rang the bell. At least a quick, easy fight was a nice breather after the long-winded hell that was Magnificus*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: *you win with almost no resistance* . . . . . . . . . .
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Uh... good game?"

*They awkwardly chuckle*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: *hands them a pack before laying down on the conveyer*
0 ups, 7mo
"What are you doing..?"

*They blinked*

(Bro really was just done with this shit)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: yep
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They properly moved their piece to the mushroom icon*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *puts on a mask of a strange man with glasses with a head growing out of it and a mushroom suddenly grows out of the table*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"New weird record. Are you gonna spore me or something?"

*They scoot back a bit*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: nope. do you have duplicates? one for each of us.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Duplicates? I've got two wolves."

*They searched through their deck and pulled out the wolves*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: alright look away this could get messy.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They looked away*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *they see shards of paper flying for a moment* alright you can now look.
0 ups, 10mo
*They hesitantly peek up, the two cards replaced by a singular bloodied card. They take it slowly, looking it over*

"Why are it's stats so high? Is this like... allowed?"
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: indeed.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Alright, picture time, then."

*They gathered up the cards on the ground*

"Say goodbye to Tim for me."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *takes the picture*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*The flash came and went. Pain, then nothing, then something*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: welcome back.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*Loaz flexes their fingers and sit up*

"Good to be back. Shall we begin?"
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: first look around.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Fine."

*They stand and trudge off to look around. They quickly went over to bust open the safe and the sliding puzzle. The latter wasn't completed any faster than it was the first time. They marched back with their collected bugs*

"Insects acquired. Let's get this show on the road."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *the clock has ink on it they can see now*
0 ups, 10mo
*They swiveled around.*

"That's... new."

*They approached the clock, spinning little pegs to turn the clock's hands to line up with the paint. It popped open, revealing yet another card, the stunted wolf.*

|Take the film roll. Before he sees it. NOW!|

"What film rol-"

*As they took the card, they noticed the roll sat behind it, snatching it swiftly. They shoved it in their jacket pocket and turned heel back to the table.*

"I found a weird dog."

|Excuse me? I-|

*They shoved the wolf into the deck before it could scold them further. Wonderful. Now they've got two cards with issues.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: now for the card.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Mhm!"

*They sat down almost excitedly.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: the cost. *ant, cockroach, and sparrow*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Sparrow."

*They tapped the bird*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: stats.
(you may choose*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
(Decided to nerf myself and cool it since I already made the first one excessive)

"Bullfrog."

*They slid the card forward*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
(good.)
???: sigils
(choose again m8)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Heh, wouldn't it be funny if..."

*They picked up the cockroach.*

"The pest is real."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: it's you.
0 ups, 10mo
"Well, it's supposed to be a memento of myself, isn't it? Let's see. We'll call it 'Pest,' since we're both in agreement on that aspect."
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: ah f**k.
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Let's clear this board out, shall we?"

*They drew two more squirrels for good measure and rang the bell. The board was cleared. It could begin*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *the moon takes 8 out of 40 damage*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Let's get this bad boy rolling, shall we?"

*They looked to the stinkbug still in their hand.*

"There's no way this works."

{Even if not, I'm glad to contribute.}

*They grab more squirrels, playing the stinkbug and the raven.*

"This is so stupid if this actually works on the MOON."
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *the moon takes 19 out of 40 damage needed*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"It's- SIR? Your moon's no more than a really big rock now. Is this supposed to work?"

*Their voice had gotten rather high pitched as they tried to keep from laughing. They simply grabbed more squirrels and rang the bell again. Now it was just stay-composed-long-enough-to-win simulator.*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *more damage now one hit away*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
*So that was really it. One more bell ring and the fight was won. They drew a squirrel and a regular card, their original deathcard.*

"How sentimental."

*They placed it down to let it get the final hit in, ringing the bell to end the fight*

"It's over old man. Good game."
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *there was nothing in the way now nothing beside's his last card a black goat for the funny*
0 ups, 9mo
"You are back to stare at me. Well, too bad for you."

*They ring the bell once more. The last candle goes out.*
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
???: as thanks I'll not place anything.
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
*They nod and draw a null conduit. With the bolthound killing the hovermage, they placed the conduit in the freed space to block and rang the bell*
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
???: *smiling as it plays steelmice*
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
"You dare use my own mice against me?"

*they snort, pulling a banshee and placing it down in front of the dog in place of the null conduit*
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
???: of course professer snape.
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
"Ha! Maybe I am just meant to be a wizard. Who knew?"
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
???: you're a wizard Loaz.
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
*They put on an awful british accent*

"I'm a whot?"
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
???: a wizard. *plays the harry potter theme terribily on a flute*
0 ups, 6mo
*They lean against the rail of the bridge ugly laughing.*

"I guess I'm locked in now!"
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: good for you.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"I hope all is in order. Let's get this going."

*They reached for their piece and moved it ahead*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *a skull or bag*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Might as well get a few things."

*They moved to the bag*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???:*pliers, scissors, bottle squirrel*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They took the scissors, eyeing the pliers. They were bound to return.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *pliers, goat, and fan*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*There they were. They took the pliers.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *plier, goat, squirrel*
0 ups, 10mo
*They took the goat*

"Doesn't this set of things feel familiar."

*They chuckle*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *the mole dies getting replaced with a mantis with spikes*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"That's annoying. So many spiky things."

*They draw a squirrel and put it down as defense. They ring the bell. Their stoat was killed by the skink and returned to their hand.*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *smiles*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
*They grumbled, snatching a squirrel to replay their stoat.*

"Just pray to draw something semi decent so this poor bear can rest."
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *plays a porcipine*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"You're starting to become the prick, y'know. And believe me, it takes one to know one."

*They draw a card. Ouroboros. Wonderful. Time to finish this pointy hell. They took out the stinkbug and the stoat for the ouroboros, then the ouroboros for the stoat. They replayed the ouroboros, taking out the stoat and the bear.*

"You did well my son. Now, it is time to rest."

*They rang the bell.*

(Ouro stats: 7/7. It's gone urayuli.)
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: was that a pun?
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"It was. What are you going to do about it?"
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: nothing.
0 ups, 9mo
"That's what I thought."

*Loaz drew a squirrel. They sacrificed the ouroboros for the stoat, then placed down the squirrel to kill for the beast back. They rang the bell*

(Ouro stats: 8/8. What have I created?)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
???: it/its.
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
"Noted."

*they smiled, glancing back down at the board*

"So... shall we carry on?"
0 ups, 6mo,
2 replies
???: if you want.
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
*They nod and draw a dead hand. They place down their steelmice, frowning a bit at the lowered stats from their beastly counterparts. How dare that robot try and nerf their infinite mice. They ring the bell*
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
???: I think your mouse is broken.
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
"I think it is. Yeah. Uh, but I do have more. Many more. If your dog would quit eating them. They do bite and I don't want to kill the dog but like, it jumps in front of things, and I don't know."

*They drew a blue mox and placed it, the new steel mice, and lastly, the hover mage to keep the dog from getting directly attacked.*

(Now, some might call this a misplay, but we in the biz call this 'Not killing a robot's dog like an asshole because you've done it twice now and feel bad')
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
???: I was making a computer joke.
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
"OH! I'm braindead. Forgot to mention. Jokes, whoosh! Right over my head."
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
???: yeah I can see that.
0 ups, 6mo
"Heh, yeah... anyways, your dog's still kickin'. That part didn't bounce right off my thick skull!"
0 ups, 6mo
(these mice we're played only to be killed instantly. The dog takes no prisoners)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *plys a wolf to go after the skink tail*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They grab another squirrel to play the ant queen, sacrificing pest to play the given ant in front of the skink*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *plays a mantis on the left side*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They take a squirrel and play the stinkbug in front of the mantis*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: I surrender.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Wonderful."

*They take their things and move to the next space.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *cards*
0 ups, 10mo,
2 replies
*They moved onto the space*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *mole, at king, death adder*
0 ups, 10mo
"Rat king. That's the thing with the rats getting their tails tangled, right? Maybe I should start asking where you're getting pictures of some of these things."

*They took the rat king*
0 ups, 10mo
*rat
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
Leshy: oh? and what is this "it"?
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
"... Ehm."

Their fingers tapped the table.

"Well, you kinda took over this sorta... world. I think I meant that? I dunno where I was going with that. Heck, I don't even know for sure what *you* were referring to."

That was the best answer they could manage. And it was pathetic. But it was said now.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
Leshy: *chuckles* in that case shall we go back to the game?
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
"Of course."

They rang the bell.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
*the scale tips*
Leshy: *checks which of your cards perished to his*
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
(I believe that would be a draugr for the cost, so one bone, steelmice for the stats, so 1/1, and no sigils as nothing with one died)
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
Leshy: *hands Loaz the card and it is named after them*
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
"Ah! How... passive-aggressive!"

They scanned over the card. Sweet. A simple, cheap card. Useful enough and hey, not a massive loss if it died. Kinda perfect, when they put it like that, to be bearing their name.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
Leshy: it was given the stats of the beasts killed by mine.
0 ups, 3mo
"I see."

They obviously had the bone to play their new card. And so they dropped it in the remaining free space.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnifcus: ah you.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"It's me! How's your eye doing?"

*They sneer*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: how's your teeth?
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"They grow back. Still feel that kinda phantom pain where they and my eye hurt for no reason but diverging from that topic... your students absolutely thrashed me. S'pecially Goobert. The guy went nuts. It's terrifying."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: ....... really?
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Yep."

*They nodded*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: Do you have proof?
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Of getting my butt kicked? Well, there's still slime under my nails from grabbing the floor, I'm really good at sucking at this game and you should know that by now, and I wouldn't be bringing it up if I weren't very serious about it."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: well that wasn't planned.
0 ups, 7mo
*They smile.*

“So, we getting this show on the road?”
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
Po3: *their back is turned to them*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
“Hello! How has not being a ferret been!”

*They shout*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
Po3: *turns around and glares at them* how does having no oruboros feel?
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
“Touché. But anyways, what’s your deal? Who am I beating here?”
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
Po3: hand me your deck and I'll tell you.
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
*With a roll of their eyes, they dig their deck out of their pocket and hand it over to the robot*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
Po3: *looks through it* total lack of synergys maybe get some better cards. *hands them back*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
“Brute strength gets you farther than you’d think.”

*They chuckled.*

“How do you think the Ouroboros got me so far?”
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
Po3: you killed me again and again for that pathetic snake.
0 ups, 8mo
“And believe me, I’d do it now too if I had it.”
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: no.
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
"Fine then. If you aren't gonna say anything, then let's just finish this."
0 ups, 6mo,
2 replies
PO3: indeed.
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
*nudge*))
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
(I got new pupper)
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
(Another? Awesome! Same breed or different?)
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
(she an australian sheperd)
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
(Cool! Those guys are gorgeous.)
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
(yeah she's cute)
0 ups, 5mo
(Well that's exciting! The only pet I've adopted recently was a tiny earwig living in my bathroom lmao)
0 ups, 6mo
*They draw a skeleton and play it, ringing the bell*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *battle*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
*Squirrel, rat king, wolf, stoat. They played the stoat and rang the bell*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *plays a bullfrog in front of them*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
*They take a squirrel, sacrificing it and the stoat for the wolf.*

:If you're going to kill me, at least make the right plays.:

"Last I checked, you aren't the one making the plays. Tell me again who could easily tear that little paper picture of yours."

:That's it. You've gone crazy.:

"Whatever you say, o gamemaster."

*They ring the bell.*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *plays a grizzly on the right*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Not flying, not a problem."

*They grabbed a squirrel and placed it defensively in front of the grizzly*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: oh. *the scale tips*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"I'm not really scared of those guys anymore. Just so long as I can block 'em off, I'm good. Maybe I should start stocking up on bullfrogs.""
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *bullfrog, skink, grizzly*
0 ups, 9mo
"All great options, but with never getting the chance to use my emergency grizzly, I think I'll go with that."

*They grabbed the bear and moved forward*

"Now just gimme a bird and get a taste of your own medicine."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: the health. *the bloody wolf, the egg, and the long elk*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Wolf. You better pray nobody gets their hands on this thing."

*They half-heartedly grinned*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: alright. now finally your name.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Right, never did introduce myself. Loaz. L-o-a-z."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: alright. now for the picture and don't worry you don't have to smile. *pulls out a camera*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They look up, beaming anyways. The flash felt blinding for a moment, then like nothing at all.*

(Loaz's last act was really just to make the most overpowered monstrosity they could manage)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *they wake up back in the chair* welcome back.
(just like me do you want to know the bullshit card I made?)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
(Oh my god yes)

"Wha- where- who-"
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: did you think you would remain dead?
0 ups, 10mo
"I mean... what- but I- What?"

*They looked down at their hands and body, everything was there. Everything was the same*

"How?"
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: heres a present.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Yeah..?"

*They sat up warily, reaching for a squirrel*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: your old friends. *places the flying bears*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"No. No no no no. You said you weren't pulling this again."

*They pushed back and stood*

"I did not just rip out my own EYE for you to do this again. You're batshit insane!"
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: I lied, and I thought you already knew this.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They laugh*

"You're right! I'll take that into consideration next time. It's not like killing me is gonna get rid of me."

*They slumped against the table, chuckling. They reach for the bell.*

"Do your worst."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: yep. *the bears wreck them*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They get up, putting out their own candle*

"And away I go."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: indeed: *takes back the bears*
0 ups, 10mo
"Good game, old man. So much for take two."
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *turns the mask to trader* no pelts.
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"So..?"

*They took a card, stoat, warily.*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *places random cars with random sigils first row is, bell tentacle with spikes, weak alpha with flight, skink with stink, and mole with spikes*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Okay, okay, I can tolerate this. Nothing too bad except for maybe that buffed skink. That one's just annoying"

*Thankfully, the stinkbug could take out the alpha. They rang the bell and allowed the bear to carry on its warpath against the mole.*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
(how powerful should second row be?)
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
(Throw whatever bullshit you want back there just so long as it's manageable)
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
(alright)
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
*They drew a squirrel for the stoat and used it to block the skink*

"I don't know why I didn't start trusting the bears earlier. This thing is carrying."
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: and if it could fly you would see why I used it.
0 ups, 9mo
"Yeah. This thing really is a beast."

*They chuckled, ringing the bell*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
Grimora: my last turn... *plays a single skeleton*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
"Good game."

*Loaz nodded, drawing a sapphire mox and ringing the bell*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
Grimora: indeed... just don't change to replace me please.
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
"Oh? I mean, I wasn't planning on it but may I ask why?"

*Of course, the obvious reason would simply be that she wanted to keep her role, but why say it of the reason went without saying*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
Grimora: . . . no reason.
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
"Right... Well, I can safely say that your job is safe. It was great playing you."
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
Grimora: thank you.
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
"I'll see you."

*They waved and backed out of the crypt. They glanced briefly at the tombstones. They hadn't really taken the time to look at them. The left one was labeled 'Kaycee Hobbes.' Hadn't that been one of those deathcards they'd dealt with during that battle? They shrugged and carried on out. Maybe it was a coincidence or Leshy was just borrowing names he'd heard before. They left the crypt and headed towards the bridge*

"We'll deal with Leshy last. He needs a break."

*As they passed the middle island, they noted the stone corresponding to Grimora now glowed.*

"Cool."
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
*the bridge is repaired*
0 ups, 8mo
"Nice. Let's try not to break it again."

*They trotted across the bridge towards the split between two more islands.*

"I take it the robot castle is P03's. Why not go see our old pal the stoat first."

*Loaz headed towards P03's factory*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: it's you
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Yup. That was the point!"

*They shuffled it in and moved to the next space.*

"If the first one was a mess, the second may as well be almost tolerable."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: yeah
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They tapped the piece forward.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *sigil sacrfifice*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Alright then. What horrible creations can we pass on today?"

*They gather up their cards and scan their deck.*

"We could make a bi-strike ouroboros, but unless we get a reptilian head for the totem, that means no more flying ouroboros and THAT is what I'm hoping for. But... if we do get that... flying bi-strike god of death..."

*They placed down the mantis and ouroboros.*

"And hell, even if we don't, bi-strike god of death alone is plenty."

*The sigil was transferred to the ouroboros.*

"I ought to call this one Harrison."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: f**k.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Hehe"

*They move to the next space.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *mushrooms or campfire*
0 ups, 10mo
"I really gotta start collecting dupes, don't I? The poor mushroom dudes got nothing to do."

*They moved to the campfire.*
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: finally good news.
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
"What's that supposed to mean?"
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: nothing.
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
"And I expected the robot to be direct. Okay."

*They dug their deck out of their pocket.*

"Well then, if it's nothing, Stoat, why don't we get this going?"
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: *rolls his digital eyes* fine.
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
"Wonderful."

*l33pb0t, squirrel ball, plasma jimmy, zombie. They played the l33pb0t at the far right end of the board (With this mechanic I actually have to specify positioning, screw you P03) and sacrificed it for the squirrel ball in the same space. they rang the bell*
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: *plays bolthound*
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
“More dogs. I can manage that.”

*The squirrel ball moved left, dropping a squirrel. After that, the whole board itself turned clockwise.*

“Why is it… doing that? Is this your gimmick thing”
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: yes. *plays a leapbot*
0 ups, 6mo
*They draw a stoat from their deck and snort. They play it in place of the squirrel*

"It's you!"
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: killing myself.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Why? That seems a tad bit irrational."
0 ups, 7mo,
2 replies
???: I failed. and Po3 can always just replace me.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"That's... oh god. Is every Scrybe here an asshole except Grimora?"
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: pretty much. but leshy gets too into character to the point of acting like an ass but he just likes games.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"I see. Well, maybe... don't off yourself? I won't say a word to P03."

*Just getting into character? Maybe they were a bit excessive back in the cabin then.*

(Loaz realizes that they're the jackass, only to carry right on with being a jackass)
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: if you fight him he will know.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Right... I... ought to get moving..."

*they backed carefully away and into the next room, opening up the pack when they got there. Automaton, Plasma Jimmy, null conduit, gravedigger, hover mage*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
*they see a robot on top of a furnace*
0 ups, 7mo
(I know I say this about every other subordinate, but THIS ONE has my existence in a chokehold and I cannot tell you why. I just adore it's added lore from the console arg)

"Hey."

*They waved tensely*
0 ups, 7mo
(A summary of the entire game: Everyone's an asshole except for Grimora)
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
PO3: none of your concern but I will tell you it. the great ascension
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
"The hell does that mean? 'Ascension?' You aren't ascending to shit!"
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
PO3: *glares at loaz*
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
They glare back.

"So what's your plan for this 'ascension?' Why here? Why now?"
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
PO3: why not?
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
"Because maybe I deserve half a second to officialize my victory before something goes wrong? What even *is* the great ascension?"
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
PO3: you will see. *suddenly loaz is thrust into the card game and after you win the first round PO3 places a glitching card*
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
A glitching card. They'd seen one like it back in the cabin. But this one didn't change when it was played. Was this what came from that glitching mass the dredger had pulled up? It gave off that same sense of unease. No matter, they told themself, just play. And so they did, drawing their cards. Squirrel, stoat, plasma jimmy, banshee. They placed the stoat in front of the glitched out card, every muscle in their hand tensed to keep from shaking. their nails pricked their palms.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
PO3: *they have a robotic smug grin*
0 ups, 3mo
"What!? What does that mean?"

They snapped.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *urayuli, mantis god, oroburos*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"It's BACK BABY!"

*They grabbed the ouroboros, admiring it's still-buffed stats*

"And you said I wouldn't be getting this back."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: well I was wondering if you would choose tim since you named it.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Nah, nah, this isn't Tim. I would know Tim. Tim had a little nick in his corner. No nick there."

*They slipped the ouroboros into their deck*

"And trust me, when I see Tim, I'll take him."

*They moved to the next space*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: alright.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"What do we got up next?"

*They moved forward*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *a card*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They moved to the space*

"Who's our next poor victim?"
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *there are trees on the board*
0 ups, 10mo
(Ah yes, a card)
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
???: *plays skeletal warrior*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
*They drew l33pb0t and rang the bell*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
???: seem I be going to davey jone's locker...
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
"Guess so. Well played."

(Loaz is so polite with strangers until they get ticked of. Then they revert right back to being an asshole.)
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
???: in that case I won't place anything.
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
*They nodded and did the same, ringing the bell*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
???: would ye rather be a pirate or a sycrbe? *hands them a deck and tomb peice*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
"Wonderful question. But hey, who says you can't do both?"

*They shrug, tearing open the pack. Skeleton, ghost ship, dead hand, field mice, sapphire mox.*
0 ups, 8mo,
2 replies
???: maybe we meet again someday lass?
0 ups, 8mo
where'd you go?))
0 ups, 8mo
“Maybe.”

*Loaz nodded, stepping away to place the stone on the appropriate grave*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
(lol same)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They just flicked around. Was it working? Not great. Did they get it? No. Did it eventually open? Yup. The box popped open. Expecting an ant, they weren't too excited. However, the sight if the caged wolf was intriguing*

"That's new."

*They turned back to the table with their newfound cards, sitting down t move forward*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *the next is a card or mushroom*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Mushroom. I've got PLENTY of cards, I think."

*They move to the mushroom*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *checks if they have any dupes as they put on the mask*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"I got wolves and I got ants, but I don't know what how much damage ant x2 does so we're going wolves again. Do your science, mushroom boy."

*They look away*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *paper flys and now the wolf is stitched and bloody*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"I missed you old friend."

*They carry on forward*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *skull or cards*
0 ups, 10mo
*They moved to the cards.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *wolf head spike body*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
“Okay, pointy dogs. I can deal with that.”

*they take a squirrel*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: they're pricks like you.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They let out a rather loud laugh*

“That was one of your better ones.”

*They rang the bell*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: thanks. *plays a coyote and death adder after adding to the scale*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They draw from the deck, ant. They sacrifice the squirrel and place it in front of the coyote, bell ringing. As the latter is killed, its spiky sigil took the ant with it. They let the adder kill the mantis after it had done its damage.*

“Board… mostly cleared.”
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *plays a wolf*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*they grabbed a card, stoat, and played the long elk in front of the wolf. They rang the bell*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *plays a wolf cub in front of stoat*
0 ups, 10mo
*they took a filler squirrel and placed it for the adder to kill, ringing the bell*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: yep I've been lacking STIMULATION for a while! *feels your arm*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"I'll say. Here, I think these might actually break your mind."

*They pull their star glasses down from their hair and offer them to the student*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: *excitedly puts them on*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Everything should be a bit pinker. Except for the endless void maybe, but like, that's literally nothing so my point still stands."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
????: can.... can I keep these!?
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Sure! I got a few other pairs stowed away. Those are all yours now."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: *hugs loaz*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
*They hug back*

"You're welcome, bud. Now, I'm on my way to challenge Magnificus. You have your own cards in here?"
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: mhm. *sniffs them* god I missed smelling things.... sorry if this is weird.
0 ups, 7mo
"I don't mind. I get it. I'd be losing it too."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???; that is a suprise.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Yup, sounds about right. I'm taking the goat. I like goats."

*They placed the goat in a jar to the side*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: Don't get attached to it. *He places scissors, pliers, and a fan out next*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Scissors. Lemme guess, this one lets me stab a guy or something."

*They grabbed the scissors*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: mhm. *the next it the pliers, squirrel, and fan*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"You know what, fine. I'll take the darn pliers"

*They placed the pliers with the other two*

"But if you tell me I gotta rip out a tooth or something, I'm going to throw something."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: . . . maybe you should take a different item.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
“Well now I’m taking them. Mine now, old man.”

*They held the pliers close*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: alright
0 ups, 10mo
“Moving on!”

*they moved their piece forward*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: take a wild guess.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Are you running around taking pictures of mythical creatures and rare rat phenomena, or did you just tie a bunch of rats together and make some shit up?"
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: . . .
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Was I close?"

*They move to the next space*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: No. *it's a campfire or statue*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Why don't we actually get a head for this thing."

*They moved to the statue*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *a deer, wolf, and fledgling body*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"I have like... neither of these, but I suppose I do have the stunted wolf."

*They take the wolf head and screw it onto the body.*
0 ups, 10mo,
3 replies
???: heh.
0 ups, 10mo
"Ah well. Next one maybe."

*They move forward*
0 ups, 10mo
it's been a while my guy. where'd you go? is this rp dead or what?))
0 ups, 10mo
homie?))
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
Leshy: they're near.
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Great. I'm 'boutta turn this place upside down."

*They decided that they may as well start inside and work their way out, poking their head around the table and checking where the slider puzzle would be. Then they remembered.*

"Flashing door! Not flashing. Am I allowed in there?"
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
Leshy: sure why not.
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Great!"

*They duck into the room*

"Hellooo?"
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
(this is the trapper's room right? I forgor)
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
yessir))
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
Trapper: ah hello.
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Hey! Sorry to barge in. Honestly should've expected you to be in here. I'm kinda challenging big guy out there for his job so you're the last guy I gotta beat."
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
Hunter: you need to beat the others scribes as well.
0 ups, 9mo
"Do I? GOD, the qualifications needed for this!"

(Loaz is here for your job. Their credentials? Screw you, that's what.)
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
(the nintendo conciouNES now coming with all new depression mode!)
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
(Coming soon: The Anxiety DLC!)
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
(which includes the all new insomnia difficutly!)
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
(Hooray!)
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
PO3: ah remains.
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
"Remains can still bounce back and hurt. We've proven that, haven't we?"
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
PO3: I suppose we have.
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
"It's nice to actually agree with you on something."
0 ups, 5mo,
1 reply
PO3: it's terrible.
0 ups, 5mo
"And we've immediately backtracked."

*They sighed*

"That's fine. I'll take what I can get."
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: good thing I have more then one.
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
"ARGH! You better pray you got the space because I'm sure I've got more hawks in here!"

They should have at least two others, but looking at their messy heap, what were the chances of even drawing them?*

"I'm not letting your smug robotic ass be the first one here to beat me."

(won't be the last time, that's for sure)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: and then they will be mine.
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
"Yeah, eventually. Unless of course, i just..."

*they hovered over the hammer*

"Hammer them out before they can."

*They hadn't felt that irritated stress for quite a while. With Magnificus, they'd had more drive, even in this kind of standstill. But here... what was the cost of losing here? Their pride? They'd honestly rather keep that over this thing They rang the bell. P03 could spam l33pb0ts all it wanted.*
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: good strategy.
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
"Better than giving you my cards."
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: maybe.
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
*They rang the bell to remind P03 it was its turn, head tilting impatiently*
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: *plays yet another l33pbot*
0 ups, 6mo
*They took in a sharp breath and drew a banshee. They hammered the hawk. No point in keeping it there anymore. They played the banshee and rang the bell.*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *it all goes black until they see a yule log with candles and ??? smiling* congrats.
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"What is that?"

*They inch back a bit*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: your reward.
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Uh... great."

*They look around*

"What about leaving..?"
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: sadly you are not able to.
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Wonderful. So it's just a perpetual state of the shit I tried to pull during that first angler fight? Great."

*They sit back, hands in pockets. They grabbed at the film reel they'd forgotten they had*

"Then we might be here a while."
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: aren't you going to eat?
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"I'd rather not. Might be the three missing teeth, might be the lump of rotting meat. Not really my thing to be honest."
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: . . . f**k you bitch.
0 ups, 9mo
"Says the kidnapper."

*Loaz shrugs*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
*the dog followed since you had the smell of yule log still on you*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Oh thank god. Hey, sir! I got your dog back!"

*They shouted*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
Prospecter: why thank ye! *pets the dog*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"So, onto that game?"
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
Prospecter: of course! *takes out their deck*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
*They did the same. Squirrel, hawk, gravedigger, stoat. They placed down the stoat, then the gravedigger. Even if they didn't have bone cards, they may as well have it on the board*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
Prospecter: *plays the bloodhound*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Starting off strong. Cool, cool."

*They drew hrokkall, sacrificing the gravedigger for it. Not like it would block the bloodhound, but at least something was there to get rid of it. They rang the bell*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
Prospecter: me hound!
0 ups, 9mo
“Sorry, had to be done.”

*They drew a hawk, sacrificing the stoat and hrokkall for it. They rang the bell*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: so like a tom?
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Yeah! Tom! I'll try not to get too attached. This one may be passed on to geck."

*They tucked it into the deck and moved to the next space."
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *sigil sacrifice or camp fire*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Well, now this is a good one. Finally a choice where I've gotta really think. Both are great for geck. I could essentially have a free mantis and pray I get a campfire later, or buffed stats and hope I can sacrifice a sigil later... And if I do wait I COULD get unkillable with a cockroach or something! We'll go campfire."

*They moved to the fire space.*

(Loaz is doing every equation over in their head)
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *attack up*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Go forth, Geck my boy."

*they place the card on the fire*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: do you keep it there?
(if they do I'm going to laugh)
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Nope! Still don't trust you for a second. Yoink!"

*They took back the geck, grinning.*

"Your tricks can't get me, old man."
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: for now.
0 ups, 9mo
"For good."

*Loaz moved to the next space, smirking*
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: he at least acts like a scrybe unlike grimora. and she is too friendly if I had any choice she would be killed.
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
“I like her. Makes me genuinely want to avoid replacing her. Unlike someone.”
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: *their face becomes a loading screen to mimic rolling their eyes*
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
*They snicker*

“I personally think a Scrybe should at least be good at convincing challengers not to take their role.”
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: *whispers* as if that matters.
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
“What was that?”

*They blinked.*
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: none of your concern.
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
“You sure? Cuz I’m pretty damn concerned right now.”

*They leaned in.*
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
Po3: too bad.
0 ups, 6mo
“Please?”

*They blinked innocently*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
Po3: go annoy magnificus or something.
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
“Why should ? Are you just not gonna challenge me until I’m done being someone else’s problem?”
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
Po3: yes.
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
“Fine. To the whimsical bush I go. Enjoy your 20 minutes of peace.”

*Loaz grumbled and turned on their heel back out. They trudged across towards Magnificus’ tower. They stepped inside and looked around*

“Anyone here?”

*They called*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
*the room is empty but they see a button*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
*They look over the button for a moment before shrugging*

“Ah well, pray this isn’t about to magic me into a frog I guess.”

*They press the button*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
*they are in what appears to be a menu*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
*They blink for a moment, eyes darting about in an attempt to process things.*

“The heck? Another one of these?”
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
...
0 ups, 8mo
(Now it’s my turn to be a bit lost. Is this that puzzle with the sigil code hidden in he pause menu?)
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
Grimora: For old times sake I'll let you go first.
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
"You're too kind."

*They draw a sapphire mox and ring the bell*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
Grimora: I suppose I am.
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
"Your turn. I've done all I can do."
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
Grimora: *plays a skeleton and gravedigger*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
*They draw a squirrel and play the hrokkall. ringing the bell*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
*the skeleton blocks it*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
"Ah well, give it another turn and we're cool."

*They drew field mice and rang the bell*
(Thank god they never got their hands on fecundity in act 1)
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
Grimora: *plays two skeletons*
0 ups, 8mo
"The amount of these you have is frightening."

*They drew a l33pb0t,m sacrificing it and hrokkall for the field mice. Another appeared in their hand*

"That's broken. Anyways."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
(that reminds me of something I did once)
???: *a skull or mushrooms*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Still no dupes that'd be worth it"

*they move to the skull. Squirrel, wolf, beehive, stoat. They play the stoat and ring the bell*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *I play an coyote and destroy the stoat*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Sorry, box boy."

*They took a squirrel and placed down the beehive in front of the coyote. They rang the bell*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *I play a sparrow on the left side of the board and even the scale*
0 ups, 10mo,
2 replies
*As the beehive is destroyed, a bee is granted. They take a squirrel and place down the bee, ringing the bell*
0 ups, 10mo
*three
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *I place a wolf pup and add four teeth to their side of the scale*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*Taking another squirrel, they play both for the wolf, placing it to kill the coyote. They ring the bell*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *the wolf pup turns into a wolf and the scale is tipped to their side*
0 ups, 10mo
"Shit."

*They glance to their items, Tipping the scale would be great here but... was it worth it? They took a card. An ant. That wouldn't help. They just rang the bell..*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *plays bullfrog*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
*They draw a squirrel and ring the bell. They could stall out for a turn.*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *stalls as well*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
*They draw another squirrel and place down the rat king in front of the bullfrog to kill it.*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *plays a rabbit*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
*They draw the stinkbug, placing it down to stop a strange frog. Finally, they could get a little damage in.*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *plays a trap*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Why are you so irritating?"

*The trap takes out the wolf. With the cleared out space, Loaz played the goat for the bear. They smiled. That felt good. They rang the bell and let the beast do it's work.*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *I check how many pelts they have*
0 ups, 9mo
(I don't think I ever went to the trapper so none)
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
PO3: fair.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
"So. What IS your plan here? Leshy had his game. What's your deal?"
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
PO3: you will figure it out along the way or at the end.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
"At the end? You got your own little game? Is it gonna be all spinning tiles and irritation?"
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
PO3: that is for time to tell. *he says smugly*
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
"Then why not get this show on the road. Faster I kick your ass, the faster I can get back to that tower."

They finally sat up properly, shoulders relaxed. Calm. Or as calm as Loaz was physically capable of being.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
PO3: sure.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
“Do I have a deck?”

They stuck their hand in their pocket and searched around for their cards. The massive mess of cards was gone. Figures. If their cards from Leshy didn’t stick around, why would those?
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
PO3: *hands you some virtual ones* there.
0 ups, 3mo
They scanned over the cards, l33pb0ts, sentries, even a double gunner, though a couple were unfamiliar. Shield bots and snipers. Though, they supposed that made enough sense. Then of course, was their secondary deck. Empty vessels. The squirrels of this version, they guessed. Easy to play, really just shields.

"Cool. Let's get going then."
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
trapper: the hardest part is not killing PO3 with his ego.
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Oh, I will keep that in mind. So do I beat everyone else and THEN come back to you or do we just get this over with here?"
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
Trapper: your choice.
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Alright then sir, I will see you shortly. I'm off to bully a gameboy with an ego and whatever else may lie ahead."

*They backed out of the room*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
Trapper: goodbye.
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
*They return to the main room of the cabin*

"As it turns out, nobody thought to mention that I have to beat EVERYONE in order to replace one Scrybe so I am going to be right back. Enjoy this time of peace. I know you need it."
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
Leshy: suck it.
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"No thanks!"

*They slip out of the cabin and skip down the path towards the lower island. They made their way towards a large marble crypt.*

"I'm takin' it this is that necromancer lady..."

*They entered the crypt.*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
*they see a line of tombstones*
0 ups, 9mo
"Oh boy, do I have to die here too? I'm really good at that."

*They notice the empty slots on each tombstone.*

"Three times seems excessive but I've pulled off two."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: .... why are you so..... happy?
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Oh believe me, this ain't happiness. I keep a positive outlook out of spite and I don't know how much longer I can keep it up. What about you? Why're you such a downer? I mean, aside from the whole head-on-a-spike thing?"
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: hah life is terrible. I am stuck here till the sweat release of... well not death.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Does Magnificus just plop all his students in a room with some extra torturous scenario added on? What has education come to?"
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: hey like highschool is any better.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Can confirm. Who designed this and decided it worked? Like, my mental health is in shambles and I'm guessing that's like 30% digging out my own eye and 70% the wreck school left me in."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: maybe it's best staying here. after all you are free.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"I don't think I can, sorry. I've got Scrybes to beat and annoy into short-circuiting. Besides, I promised Goobert I'd put in a good word for him."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: goobert is here? I thought I told them to leave this place...
0 ups, 7mo
"He's got his own little personal void downstairs. You told him to leave?"
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
Prospecter: ye is a c**t! *plays a coyote*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
“yeah, we’ll ye need a better strategy than throwing your own pet at everyone.”

*They draw a squirrel and place it to block the coyote*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
*the fake scale tips*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
“Good game.”

*They stand, turning back towards the cabin.*

“Now to deal with that trapper guy. Wherever he is.”
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
Prospecter: now git!
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
“You got it!”

*They sprinted back for the cabin, swinging inside by the doorframe.*

“Hey I fought two of your guys. Isn’t there a third one?”
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
Leshy: yep.
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
“Yeah, where are they?”
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
Leshy: I'm not helping you!
0 ups, 9mo
"I mean, that's fair BUT all I need is like, a little nudge in the right direction and I can probably take it from there."
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: ah.
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
"Told you I wasn't letting you have my bird*
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: f**k off.
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
"You don't get to tell me to f**k off."

*They sneered*
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: yes I do.
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
"By what authority?"

*They leaned their head on their hand and grinned*
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: by me being a scrybe.
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
"Right. THAT gives you power over me."

*Loaz replied sarcastically, drawing a wolf cub from their deck*

"Regardless, I will not be f**king off."
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: idiot.
0 ups, 6mo
*They tilted their head, smiled, and rang the bell*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: good. now get out of here before that bushes ego somehow get's bigger then the gameboy.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"HA! Will do! If it's even possible!"
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: *loaz is now back to the world*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Part three. Here we go."

*They rush up the stairs*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
(what was the puzzle again?)
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
(I think it would've been the one we did for Goobert so if you want we can just kinda skip over this one too)
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
*for a wizard tower there are not a lot of puzzles damn mag must suck*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"This dude better get better at his job or I'm taking it! At least Leshy knew what he was doing."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
*could it be true can someone truly be worse then leshy!? find out on the next episode of loaz ball Z!*
0 ups, 7mo
(This is a perfect representation of their inner monologue)

"Well, fight three. What sort of horrible thing has the bush cursed this one to deal with?"
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
(thanks mate)
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
(Ofc, shall we move on to some more lighthearted shit?)
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
(of course)
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
*They draw a squirrel and ring the bell*

"GIVE ME A BIRD OR SOMETHING, DANGIT!"

*They shout at their deck*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: *has his paintbrush ready if they do*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
“RIGHT! Your stupid bitchass painting mechanic. Stabbing my eye out was preferable to this torture. I don’t even need a void and a trial to be in hell with you.”

*They slumped their head facedown on the table*

(Behold, my exact thoughts during this fight in-game)
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: haha.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
“I will end you.”

*They grumble*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: maybe you should end yourself?
0 ups, 7mo
"Nah, I've still gotta be here to make your life worse."

*They hit the bell*
0 ups, 4mo,
1 reply
Leshy: *smiles as he thinks*
0 ups, 4mo,
1 reply
"If I see a single grizzly bear on this board, I'm going to start stabbing and this time, it won't be my eyes getting plucked!"

An empty, overexaggerated threat. After all, they didn't have appearances to keep up with Leshy, and what power did he have to kill them? Hell, what power did they have to stab him? It was pointless to say, but funny, at least to them.
0 ups, 4mo,
1 reply
Leshy: *chuckles* ah you have a bad history with them don't you?
0 ups, 4mo,
1 reply
They bite down a chuckle of their own.

"And whose fault is that?"

They leaned over the table.
0 ups, 4mo,
1 reply
Leshy: and who made magnificus come back to being more then a card?
0 ups, 4mo,
1 reply
"...Touche, old man."
0 ups, 4mo,
1 reply
Leshy: I only look old. in reality this game might be younger than you. and for calling me old......... *plays a single grizzly bear*
0 ups, 4mo,
1 reply
"F**k offffff!"

It was more a laugh than a complaint. They snatched a card from their deck, sentry drone, and played their steelmice copy in front of the bear. Though they couldn't say they liked the way their hand shook a bit playing the card
0 ups, 4mo,
1 reply
Leshy: maybe next time.
0 ups, 3mo
"Maybe. Unless I beat you to it."

They said, as if they had any idea what 'it' they were referring to.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: yes
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Seems super impractical in terms of materials. And time. And also it's a dick move."
0 ups, 7mo,
2 replies
???: true.
0 ups, 7mo
"So... ways around this bullshit... I'm not an ideas guy."

*They sighed*
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(*nudge*)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(sorry)
???: you're a guy?
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
"No. I'm a something-or-other."
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
???: ah pronouns?
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
"They/them preferred, though I don't mind it/its."
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
???: of course.
0 ups, 6mo
"Yeah, thanks for askin'. Mags was just kinda confused, but he's like 800 or something so I don't blame 'im. Anyways, what about you?"
0 ups, 10mo,
2 replies
???: let's see. *when it attacks the king fisher turns to a strange card with a tail symbol and it isn't destroyed*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"a- WHAT!? YOU CAN'T- W H A T IS THIS GOD BIRD FISH ABOMINATION?"

*They grab the scissors and hold them like a knife*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *chuckles to themself*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They spitefully take the wolf from their deck. Sacrificing the snapper and the stoat, they slam it down and ring the bell*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *they deal three damage I deal one and place another king fisher*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Stop this at once. You can't just spam immortal birds like this."

*They grab a squirrel and ring the bell*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *I add the final teeth* I was going to but now I can't.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"GOOD!"

*They sigh and calm themself.*

"Never again. Never again. No more god birds."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: sure.
(I'm going to do what the angler always does to me)
0 ups, 10mo
"Alright, so what do we got?"

*They finally put down the scissors*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
(My genuine reaction the first time dealing with a kingfisher)
0 ups, 10mo
(lol same)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *I place a coyote and even the scale*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They take another squirrel and play the ant queen in front of the coyote, ringing the bell*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *I place a wolf*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They draw another squirrel and place down the worker granted by the queen*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: I surrender. *he holds out his hand*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Taking the easy way out then?"

*They nodded and collected their ants*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
(wait is this a boss battle I forgot)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
it might've been the prospector but it's been so long i can't remember))
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
(f**k)
0 ups, 10mo
(Don't worry, my memory of everything is godawful too)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: you are useless just like my workers.
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
"I'm sure I am. But you'd still be one of these without me."

*They pointed to the stoat card*
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: I didn't need you.
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
"Well then next time I'll be sure to let you handle things yourself. Ooh, maybe when I'm a Scrybe I'll be able to do something like that, take over the game, make my own mechanics and shit. I'd like to see you get outta THAT!"

*They bounced a bit excitedly*
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: you will never be a scrybe.
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
"Never say never. Oh, and don't worry. Your job is safe. I've made a choice I think. It'd be funnier to be on equal ground than to throw you under the bus."
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: you're getting rid of the worse one right?
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
"Replacing Leshy was the initial plan, but I think we can both agree that Magnificus has got to go."
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: I knew you were an idiot but damn!
0 ups, 6mo
"What? Would you rather I get rid of Leshy? He seems pretty alright, killing me twice aside."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: yes. *the blood hound jumps to the raven egg I ring the bell after adding two to my side of the scale and destroy the egg if they use the pliers to tip the scale they could win right now*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*they glance to the pliers, wincing at the mere idea of how they could be used. It could be an easy win. Or, was 'easy' really the right word?*

"What are you trying to pull? 'Cuz it sure won't be my teeth. I'm already on thin ice with my dentist."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: I'm not telling you until you use it.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"You know what? Fine! If you want me to do it so badly, fine!"

*They snapped, grabbing the pliers and yanking at one of their teeth. They jolted in pain, already tasting blood. They'd gone too far in to give up now, much as they really, really wanted to. They tore out the tooth and dropped it on the scale, stiff with pain*

"There. It's done. Happy?"
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: very. *I take back my cards and open a chest a moleman, the urayuli, and the oroburos*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They leaned in, holding their cheek. They didn't even remark on the cards, just scanning over them before taking the ouroboros. More immortal creatures sounded fun.*

(You've enabled them)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *blissfully unaware of his certain doom*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*Loaz silently moved forward on to the next board, the Wetlands. The pain had begun to ease as they did their best to ignore it. Something told them more was at stake than just their teeth.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *the next path is cards*
0 ups, 10mo
“More cards. At least I’ve got an an actual deck now.”
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: that is how many sacrifices are needed to play them.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Sacrifices? Heck are we playing here? Murder: The Gosh Darn Horror Movie?"

*They looked at the stoat for a moment. Something about it felt off, though they couldn't quite say what.*

"So, if I play this guy, Id have to get rid of something else then? Like this..."

*They held the card over the squirrel, a symbol appearing over the now shaking card. They jumped a bit*

"What in-"

*As Loaz lowered the card down, the squirrel vanished with a sharp sound, leaving the stoat playable. They just tossed it into the far right spot, confused and startled.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: good job.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Okay, um, I can't do anything else. Not enough for a wolf..."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: ring the bell to end your turn.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Okay."

*They quickly rang the bell, trying their best to hold their hand steady. They tiny ding was almost comical compared to the shaken feeling the sacrifice left behind*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *The stoat attacks and I add a tooth to my scale tipping it a bit*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Was that a tooth? What's going on here? This is getting weird and that's coming from me."

*Loaz reached to grab a squirrel from the pile and placed it down instinctively. Did they really want to pull off any more sacrifices, though? They hadn't quite recovered from the first turn. They just sort of held up the wolf card while the others shivered.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: go ahead.
0 ups, 10mo
*They shook their head. They were just cards. It wasn't as if they were hurting anybody. The squirrel disappeared, then the stoat. As the latter vanished though, Loaz could've sworn she'd heard a voice.*

:Hey, wait a mi-:

*When they looked up, the wolf had been placed down. Shoving down a strange feeling of guilt, they rang the bell. There wasn't a voice. They were just tired or losing it.*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
Leshy: too bad.
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"I guess I better get this over with quick."

*They sighed, shoving the deck of cards in their pocket and marching away from the pillars to a central island. The bridge leading west had broken.*

"Lovely. We're not going there then I guess."

*They made their way across further bridges to a very familiar forest.*

"On my way back, old man."
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
*they see the cabin*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"And there's a door this time. Nice."

*They enter the cabin and march up to the table.*

"Guess who's baaaaack!"

*They sang, leaning against the table*

"Enjoy your time as scrybe while you've got it, big guy. Now let's get this goin'."
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
Leshy: nah you have to defeat my servants first.
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"God, just LET ME KILL YOU- wait. Is THIS how you felt dealing with me?"

*They cackled*

"I am so sorry!"

*They were not at all sorry*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
leshy: yep.
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Great. I will go do that. You uh... wouldn't happen to have any more random things hangin' around in here, would you?"

*They'd already begun rummaging through shelves*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
Leshy: *sighs* god I hate you.
0 ups, 9mo
"Must be great knowing I'm taking your job too."

*they picked up a camera*

"Ooh! Wanna go for part 2?"

*Loaz held up the camera and snapped a picture. They were a bit perplexed seeing an actual picture come out and Leshy still there.*

"Damn it."

(They've gotten too used to cameras being instruments of death. They cannot recognize normal ones for actual picture taking)
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: *rolls his eyes*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"What? It's true! And it doesn't change the fact that I'm kicking your ass."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: did your parents even love you?
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Miraculously, they did!"
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: maybe they were just idiots like you.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Your parents must've been assholes too then. Maybe the apple doesn't fall far from the bushy whatever-you-are."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: maybe.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Anyways, you gonna play your cards or not? You're proving my point."
0 ups, 7mo,
2 replies
Magnificus: *plays a blue mage*
0 ups, 7mo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nF2HzDWF90 Essentially Loaz's most recent argument with Magnificus))
0 ups, 7mo
*They draw the spiky piece of the broken obol, who's sigil had been, funnily enough, left unchanged. They snorted and rang the bell*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: you may go back if you tear out two teeth though. *holds out a plier*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Bet!"

*Without hesitation, they did as told and tore out their teeth. They moved right back to the mushrooms. They dropped the two teeth on the table*

"The dentist can yell at me all she wants."
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *geck, wolf, skink*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Another one. Come here my cost-free son."

*They took the geck*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: can't wait to kill you.
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"You say that as if you're going to get that opportunity."

*They move to the next space*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *bossfight*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Right, let's do this. No bears this time, just a normal, semi-civilized card game.*

*Squirrel, rat king, stunted wolf, grizzly*

"I stand corrected. That's totally not an omen."

*They broke out the goat in the bottle for later, playing the stunted wolf*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *puts on the trapper mask and places two strange frogs and a beartrap*
0 ups, 9mo
*They draw another card, the new geck. They place it down to get rid of the leaping trap and ring the bell. It snaps shut on the geck, killing it and clearing the space on both sides. The scales even out.*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Goobert: of course... *he doesn't play anything seemingly wanting to let loaz win*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
*They sacrifice one of the stoats for the wolf pup and hit the bell*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
*the scale tips*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Good game, pal. I will be back for you, I swear on it."

*They stand up and return their deck to their pocket.*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Goobert: *hands them a goo covered pack* sorry...
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"No need to apologize."

*they wipe the goo off the pack and open it up. Junior sage, orange mage, master Bleene, warren, sentry drone.*

"I'll see you soon."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Goobert: I know. *loaz is back to the not so normal world*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Right. Next floor then I suppose."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
(want to skip the annoying puzzle?)
0 ups, 7mo
(yeah.)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *pulls out three cards a insect sign, a bird sign, a wolf sign.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"So these are like... the different flavors of animal, right?"

*They look it over. Canines packed plenty for their cost, but birds could fly, and insects were cheap and always had something. For the sake of simplicity, though, they selected the bird.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *a sparrow*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Small, but I guess it flies."

*Loaz takes the card and moved forward*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *a skull*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*Squirrel, sparrow, many lives ant, stinkbug. They play the squirrel for the ant and the ant for the sparrow and ring the bell*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *I place a kingfisher*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"I was waiting for you to show up."

*They take a card, another ant. They sacrifice the sparrow and play it and the stinkbug in front of the kingfisher.*

"Not so strong now, are you?"

{Masterful.}

"I know."

*They grin*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *sighs*
0 ups, 10mo
*They ring the bell*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
(awww thanks)
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
(Ofc! shall we continue? I think it was just Loaz and Magnificus bullying each other)
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
(sure)
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
(k then)

*They dropped down the ruby heart blue mox. It was free defense as far as they were concerned. They hit the bell*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: son of a bitch.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"What'd I do?"

*They scoff-laughed*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: exist.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
“Valid. I do give off an air of hateability.”
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: yes.
0 ups, 7mo
“For a Scrybe, you’re a lot more bark than bite. Grimora was just throwing shit at me.”
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: very. *the bears tip the scale and he grabs Loaz by the head and next thing they know they are on the ground*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They blank for a moment, blinking up*

"Wha... What's going on? What are you doing?"
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: making your death card now choose a blood cost. *tosses them raven egg, wolf, grizzly*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Deathcard? What is a..."

*They looked at the cards. Were they going to die? For losing a card game?*

"No, no, no, this isn't right. There must've been some misunderstanding."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: nope. now choose.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Fine, raven egg."

*They hand over the egg card*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: now attack. *the wolf, wolf pup, and grizzly*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"You know I'm going grizzly. This bad boy's gonna be a powerhouse."

*Their throat tightened, squeezing out the last few words. They weren't really going to die, were they? This was some dream or prank or something. It couldn't really be it. They inched back a bit.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: alright. now the sigil. *the cockroach, the long elk, the mantis*
0 ups, 10mo
"Mantis. This baby's got so much health that making it come back wouldn't be all that worth it if it's never gonna die."

*They pointed to the mantis quickly and flinched away as if the card was going to snap at them. With a deep sigh, they curled up in a similar fashion to the start, arms wrapped defensively around their knees.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: sure. *places a rabbit*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They take a squirrel and place the stinkbug down in front of one of the frogs. They ring the bell*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *two strange frogs break turning into leaping traps*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Alright, just kinda last, clear the board. it's fine."

*They sigh, taking an ant and ringing the bell*
0 ups, 10mo,
2 replies
???: *the bullfrog tries to strike but the stinkbug made it's attack zero*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*The leaping traps killed the surrounding cards, sparing only the stinkbug their instant-killing wrath. Loaz let out a little grumble and took a squirrel to play their ant.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *the rabbit blocks it*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They draw another card, the ant queen. They replay the cockroach and sacrifice it and the stinkbug for the queen. They ring the bell*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *the scale tips to my side*
0 ups, 10mo
"YES! Phase one babyyyyyy~ ow..."

*They clap, half-melting into their chair*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
(you alive m8?)
0 ups, 10mo
(sadly yes)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *I add a tooth to my side of the scale*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They take another card from their deck, grabbing the wolf*

"Oh baby, here we go. Can you tell your donkey to sit still for a second?"

*They grinned and rang the bell*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: nope. *the mule moves to in front of the mantis and I am one hit away from losing now*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Okay, mantis is being an inconvenience. Bye bye, pal. The mule's gotta go."

*They take a squirrel, though rather than using it, they sacrifice the stoat and mantis, placing the wolf in the latter's place. They ring the bell*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *they tip the scale to my side and the mule dies giving them random cards you can choose since I got nothing in mind* there be gold in them cards! *he turns all the cards on your side into gold nuggets*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"MOTHER- No, no, I'm keeping this PG-13 at the worst. I pray god is forgiving because I sure as heck won't be."

*They looked down at the cards they were given, a squirrel, a raven, a raven egg, and another mantis (yes I had to check the wiki to see the cards you get from the mule). They used their two squirrels to play the raven.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: good choice.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They ring the bell*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *I add two teeth to my side and then place a bloodhound and ring the bell*
0 ups, 10mo
"Oh so YOU get your dog but I can't have my feral creature?

*They take another squirrel and play the egg, smacking the top of the bell*
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(urban wood man is best man)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(It's really close with the top 3. Magnificus can die in a hole but the rest are very close in terms of how much I like them. Grimora because I appreciate having at least one friendly character, P03 because I've overanalyzed it so much to the point that I've gotten attached, and Leshy for the ✨aesthetic✨)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(yes)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(I will gladly take any opportunity to gush over these guys. Also fun fact: Yesterday was Inscryption's 2 year anniversary)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(wait really?)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(Yup! The guy who plays Luke Carder, Kevin Saxby, even did a little video opening legit inscryption cards. I need those things so bad, I'm telling you. I need that mantis god.)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(IRL inscryption game!)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(Unfortunately there's only one pack of set cards, but it's still super cool. The art on them looks sick)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(we need copies NOW)
0 ups, 6mo
(Y E S ! I will go to war for those cards.)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *takes their cards back* get up.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Oh. Yeah."

*Loaz stood up shakily. They tensed.*

"I uh... I die now, right?"
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: go grab the candle holder.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Candle... so I'm not gonna die?"

*They stumbled over to the candle holder and back, taking it with them*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *lights one candle* not yet.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Oh. Alright. Whew, yeah. That's uh, that's great! Didn't totally scare the shit outta me for a second there."

*They sit back down*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *next is a card*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They move to the card space, taking a deep breath to calm themself.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *a mole, a mantis, and a wolf*
0 ups, 10mo
"A little defense would be nice after all that."

*They took the mole.*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *boss battle*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Alright, Fishboy. Prepare yourself. I've got a shark too, asshole!"

*Squirrel, stoat, ant queen, stinkbug. They place down the stoat.*

"Try not to die, bud. Or do. You'll be back anyways.

:I have the feeling I will. This placement is all wrong, just you wait!:

"Whatever you say, buddy."

*They ring the bell*
0 ups, 9mo,
2 replies
???: *plays a kingfisher and a hook appears on the stoat*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
*They grab another squirrel and place it down to be taken instead*

"You're welcome."

*They glared at the stoat*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: fresh fish.
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
*They drew another card, ant. They simply nodded to the card as if it could see them and played the stinkbug in front of the kingfisher.*

"Bird disabled. It's just a free lane now."
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *plays an otter*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
*They grabbed a squirrel, sacrificing it and the stoat for the ant queen.*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *a hook appears on the ant queen*
0 ups, 9mo
"Right, right."

*They draw a squirrel and play the given ant, ringing the bell*
0 ups, 9mo
you there big man?))
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: ah okay *plays homemade gun card*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"And- I mean, that's impressive. Usually it's only the Scrybes that make cards. Maybe you're a better fit for Magnificus' replacement than me."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: I got it from tv man. he said he downloaded weed when he made this.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"P03? Yeah, sounds about right. Anyways, you ring that bell to end your turn."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: *rings the bell*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
“Perfect! Then it’d be my turn, back and forth until one side of this scale tips. How much damage does this gun thing do?”

*They draw a raven*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
*no ammo*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
“May as well play this just to be able to throw out that draugr.”

*They play the mage pupil and hit the bell, the card dying due to a lack of a mox card*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: *plays a bag of cocaine*
0 ups, 7mo
"Where are you getting these? I'm starting to get concerned!"
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *scale tips to my side*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They gather their cards*

"So, before we go any further, is there any shit you plan to pull later that I should know about?"
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: no.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Wonderful. I'll be sure to prepare for your big plan. Maybe a flying ouroboros to get past those bears."

*Loaz grinned as they moved their piece forward*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *cards or blood card*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They moved to the regular cards*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *long elk, death adder, goat*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Melanie!"

*They grabbed the long elk cheerfully, half-sobbing.*

"I am so sorry I had to do that last time around. Please forgive me-hee..."

*They hugged the card as they tucked it int the deck*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: what?
0 ups, 10mo
"What? I'll name my cards what I want. I need to make sure she knows I'm sorry for sacrificing her to Tim."

*They held up their hands*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *I add four teeth to my side and then place another elk doe*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*they take another squirrel, sacrificing the two to play the beehive in front of the fawn. They ring the bell*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *takes their cards back and places three cards for them an elk, a elk doe, and a wolf pup*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
“What even was that wood thing? Deer should not be flying.”

*They asked, taking the elk fawn*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: something you can do if you explore a bit more.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
“Is there now?”

*They stand, glancing around for anything new*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *smiling*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
(Is it the caged wolf thing or is my brain messing with me? I don’t remember things)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
(I think so)
0 ups, 10mo
(I think you gotta actually bust the wolf out first but screw it.)

*They noticed a wolf figure. Hadn’t it been in a cage before?*

“Oh!”

*They grabbed the wolf, looking it over. The hexagonal base was interesting to say the least. They ran around like they’d just solved a piece of an escape room, looking for the connections.*

“Hexagon hole… Here!”

*Right beside a wooden squirrel, the proper fit. The placed the wolf in the slot and the squirrel let go of something. They grabbed it.*

“Is this a knife? This is a go***mn knife!”

*They marched back over, chuckling.*

“You have armed the wrong person.”
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
(lol)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
(I guess we could just kinda skip over it if you want)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
(thanks)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They let out a long sigh*

"How is there even gold in a bunch of ants anyhow?"
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: .... stop using logic.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"I will not."

*They moved their piece forth to the wetlands*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: also cards. *three cards, urayuli, moleman, and mantis god*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"That's a dang three-way. Yoink."

*They take the mantis god*

"This thing shall either be buffed to an obscene level, or sacrificed to something that already is. I will let this thing EARN its god status."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: you need that god. for you are unholy.
0 ups, 10mo
"Surprisingly not the first time I've heard that."

*Loaz chuckles and moves forward*
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
PO3: your goal is to beat them and complete the great transcendence.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
"And the Great Transcendence is..?"

They tilted their head.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
PO3: something you want.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
Loaz's eyes narrowed just a bit. Yup. That cleared things up. They shrugged. Sure, they could play along.

"Alright. Sounds good."
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
PO3: good. *you see an arrow at the bottom of the screen*
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
They tapped the arrow, and the screen moved down to a new one along the path, the little hologram that they guessed represented them moving with it.

"Okay, no events every step, got it. I can live with that."

It carried on another space down.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
*at the bottom of the screen there is a red skull*
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
"I take it this is a battle?"

It was the same symbol Leshy used. That would only make sense.
0 ups, 3mo,
1 reply
PO3: yeah. there is......... malfunctioning bots trying to stop you. yeah.
0 ups, 3mo
"Alright then."

They set up their cards. They assumed this went how it did before. Empty vessel instead of a squirrel, 49er, double gunner, l33pb0t.
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *there is a moon behind leshy and the shadow is gone and the goat looks...... different*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
*They purposely tried to ignore the goat. This was serious. Anime goat aside, they were almost awestruck*

“Final boss. This is so cool…”
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: let's see if you win
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
“I’ve got high hopes. Good luck.”

*They drew. Squirrel, stoat, Raven, original geck. They played the stoat and geck, ringing the bell.*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *plays a mantis and a hook appears on the geck*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
*They draw a squirrel and a card, the glitched one. it shifts into a new card, a wolf pup. They play the squirrel to save their geck and ring the bell*

"So this thing just turns into something else. Interesting. Your weird mess card actually does something."
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: mhm. *plays moleman*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Your great protector. How sweet!"

*They draw a squirrel and another card, stinkbug. They play the second squirrel for the stoat and let the original squirrel get taken. They ring the bell*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *plays a strange frog*
0 ups, 9mo
"Heeello again. Feels like forever ago I was dealing with you."

*They draw two cards, ant and bear.*

"How about we get this phase over with. Besides, I don't know how much longer I can look at that goat..."

*They play the bear for the goat and hit the bell*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *plays a skink*
(death)
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Throw your whole deck at me. What I have made is an affront to God himself. If I am not smote down by them, I have little hope for you."

*They took a squirrel to place down the stoat as further defense. They'd done enough. For now.*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *the bell tentacle is now much stronger*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Yeah that's a very big problem. Uh..."

*They took the pair of scissors. They just had to pray row two was merciful.*

"How about it stops."

*Loaz casually snipped the card in half.*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: ah alright. *snapping turtle with flight defense*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
*They drew a card. Their own skink. They rang the bell. A turtle was much more manageable than whatever the tentacle was.*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: skink.
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
"Mhm. Skink."

*They simply drew a squirrel and rang the bell*
0 ups, 9mo,
1 reply
???: *the scale finally tips*
0 ups, 9mo
"It's over. THANK GOD IT'S OVER!"

*They tip back so far in their chair that they practically fall out of it. The only barely manage to catch themself on the table*

"I was worried that'd be infinite or something and I was softlocked."
0 ups, 10mo,
2 replies
???: *A skull is the only path*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They make be to the skull and deal themself in. Squirrel, stoat, ant queen, elk fawn. They place the fawn down and ring the bell*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *Places an wolf pup after adding two teeth to their side and then adding one to yours*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They take a squirrel to play the stoat. The fawn grows to an elk and they ring the bell.*

“Big guy, go kill!”
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *I take back my cards and take out three a wolf pup, a wolf, and a goat*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They take the goat.*

“Quite the long trail.”
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *the next is the prospecter fight*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Let's do this one more time."

*They dealt themself in: Squirrel, long elk, ant queen, regular worker. They placed down the worker ant and rang the bell*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *puts on the mask and places the pack mule down and then rings the bell*
0 ups, 10mo
*They took a squirrel and rang the bell.*
0 ups, 10mo
*move
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
(pirate skele right?)
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
Yessir))
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
???: *they see a pirate skeleton*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
"Ahoy! Or, is that too stereotypical? I try not to be disrespectful."

*They waved*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
???: ye be fine lass.
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
"Ah, good good. Anyways, challenger stuff. I've gotta play you."
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
???: ah very well! *takes out their deck*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
*Wolf cub, squirrel, broken obol part 1, stoat. They played the wolf cub and rang the bell*
0 ups, 8mo,
1 reply
???: *plays a grave digger*
0 ups, 8mo
*Loaz drew and played their own gravedigger, before sacrificing it for the stoat*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: . . .
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Don't look at me like that. Some of 'em talk. Don't blame me for worrying if the others got feelings too."

*They moved to the next space*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: some of them what? *a mushroom or skull*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"The cards. You haven't noticed?"

*They moved to the skull and took their cards. Squirrel, stoat, ant, long elk. They played the stoat and rang the bell*

"Heck, the one I just played has done nothing but call all my moves 'total misplays.'"

:It's the truth.:
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *stares at the stoat as he plays a wolf cub*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They frown a bit, taking a squirrel to play the ant.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: you're more insane then me. *plays a coyote after adding to the scale*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Maybe a bit."

*They take a squirrel and place it defensively in front of the coyote. They ring the bell.*

"But you can't deny, this thing doesn't look much like a stoat anymore, does it?"
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: indeed. *the scale tips*
0 ups, 10mo
"What? Did you trap a gameboy in a card or something?"

*They gathered their cards*

"And if you did, I gotta wonder. Why is it such an asshole?"
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *I put a stone tablet on the table with another stone* you can sacrifice any creature with a sigil and put it on another card but the original will be gone forever.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"This cat's the only thing with a sigil I got, so..."

*Loaz placed the cat on the sacrifice spot, before glancing back down at the sigil-free cards.*

:Pick me.:

*The stoat whispered*

"Oh now you wanna be sacrificed. I get it."

*They snipped back, almost considering offering the stoat to take the sigil. At least, unlike the cat, it could attack. They placed the stoat in the second slot*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: go ahead.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They winced as the cat vanished, the stoat flipping around to reveal the stitched on infinite lives sigil*

"You're a messed up guy, you know that?"
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: I know very well.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Wonderful. Glad we're on the same page there."

*Loaz moved their piece to the next spot*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *It is a skull or battle spot*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Good luck, old guy."

*They set up their cards, dealing themself in. Squirrel, stoat, snapper, wolf. Instinctively, they sacrificed the squirrel for the stoat and rang the bell*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *the stoat strikes and I play a bullfrog and I ring the bell it strikes and the scale is even*
0 ups, 10mo
*Pulling and sacrificing a squirrel with the stoat, they placed down the wolf and rang the bell*

(Top tier gaming right here)
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: he's soft. I couldn't stand to see him get hurt...
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Well, I promised I'd get him out of here. At the very least, I'm gonna fulfil that. Someone's gotta get 'im the hell away from that bush-looking crazy upstairs."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: just take this and get out of here. *hands them a pack*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"We're skipping the game then?"

*Mage knight, emerald mox, Orlu's mox, buff conduit, zombie.*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: you'd keep trying till you win.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Fair. Bye then. I'll show Magnificus who's boss and you can trust me on that one. Who knows, maybe I could flip around and get rid of 'im instead."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: that would be highly appreciated.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
*Loaz snorts*

"Then I'll be seeing you when this mess is over."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: of course. teacher.
0 ups, 7mo
"Teacher? Heh, dunno if that fits all too well but I'll do my best."
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(I thought it was your turn sorry also I got a new dog)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(Oh cool! What breed is it? Also i think it's your turn since I just played that hawk)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(it's a chiuachua.)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(Cool! well, I'm happy for you! I've got a shiba inu. She sheds like absolute crazy. There is not an item in my house where you cant find at least a bit of her fur)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(it is the opposite for me the little girl doesn't shed at all)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(Oh to share that luxury. Anyways, shall we carry on? I checked and it’s your turn)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(of course)
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
(Aight)

*Hawk placed down, they rang the bell. So long as they got it over quick and the hawk stayed with them, this phase should be simple*
0 ups, 6mo,
1 reply
PO3: *plays a leap bot*
0 ups, 6mo
"Your stupid bouncing robot CANNOT protect you forever!"

*The hawk's strike killed the l33pb0t. but it's interference, moved the bird closer to the opposite side of the board. They grabbed a l33pb0t of their own and placed it down beside the bird, just for good measure. They rang the bell*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *its a skull*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They take their cards and play the default squirrel -> stoat*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *plays a raven egg*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"That thing's gonna be a bird, isn't it?"

*They flip through the guidebook to the page with the fledgling sigil, ringing the bell to end their turn*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *I add a tooth to my scale and next turn it turns into a raven*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Called it."

*They sacrifice a squirrel and the stoat and place the wolf down in front of the raven*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: I see where this is going I surrender you can accept or do it the long way.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Surrender? I see. Sure, I'll take my free wins where I can get 'em."

*They grinned*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *they take their cards back and the next symbol is a card or mushroom*
0 ups, 10mo
"Heck yeah, mushrooms!"

*They moved to the mushroom icon*

(Loaz' deck is going to be 2 cards and a bunch of squirrels by the end of this. I think you've been forgetting the post-victory cards lol)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: another tool to tip the scales.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
“I’m not stabbing anything out.”

*They returned to the board and moved their piece forward.*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: we'll see about that. *cards or sigil sacrifice*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
“Unkillable stoat time.”

*they moved to the sigil sacrifice*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *pulls out the stones*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They place the cat on the upper stone. Before they could commit to the stoat, though, they change their mind. With all the ants they had, it’d be nice to have one to sacrifice for the others. They placed one of the workers on the lower stone. The many lives sigil was transferred to the ant, and they returned it to the deck.*

“Ant.”

*They said and smiled, moving to the next space*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *skull or bag*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
“A last second squirrel or something could be nice.”

*they moved to the bag*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *the knife takes up the last spot and I hand them a packrat* you can have this instead.
0 ups, 10mo
“Sounds good to me.”

*They take the pack rat and add it to the deck, moving forward.*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: then sit your genderless ass down.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
*They sniff indignantly and sit back down.*

"I believe it was your turn."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: *saphire mox*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
*They drew a squirrel .*

"Probably a strange question, but I keep seeing this hammer button. What does that do?"

(I literally only use the hammer for ouroboros abuse or mox murder, the way god intended)
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: try it.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
*They clicked on the hammer and used it on the ruby mox they'd laid down. With their mage knight long gone, it was expendable. The hammer, as expected, destroyed the card*

"Huh. Weird how of all things to lock to the wall, this was up there with the brush. Apparently clubbing squirrels over the head to make space is too far for Leshy. Blood sacrifices are perfectly alright though."

*they snicker, playing the squirrel for the warren, and playing the given rabbit. They sacrificed the rabbit and the warren itself to play their second pair of field mice, hitting the bell*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: I guess so.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Another question. Not regarding mechanics like that..."

*They tapped rhythmically on the table*

"What was it like being a card? I've kinda been wondering."
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
Magnificus: terrible. it was like those voids you saw. so I decided my pupils must endure the same thing I went through for them to prove their worth.
0 ups, 7mo
"Well that's f**ked if they're just gonna end up as cards anyways."

*They hit the bell*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: I dunno. want sugar?
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"No, thank you. I'm not sure that's sugar..."

*They play the draugr and hit the bell*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: then what is it? *copys*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"It's drugs, bud. I think it's drugs. Who gave you this stuff? Was it the damn gameboy again? Is everyone on this side of the map batshit insane?"
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: whats a drug?
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"Drugs are bad. Don't do them."

*They drew a ruby mox.
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: why not? *plays ruby golem*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
"They'll mess up your brain more than this place already has."

*They drew a stoat and played it with the squirrel*
0 ups, 7mo,
1 reply
???: is that possible?
0 ups, 7mo
"I don't want to find out. If it is, I fear you on cocaine or something."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *hands them the stinkbug and reignites the second candle*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*With regained confidence, they proceed to the next map.*

"Thank you."

(The menace has gotten cocky again. reality boutta hit real hard)
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: wait for your cards. *a urayuli, a geck, a ameba*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Right, right. At this point, something like geck might not be worth it... We've already been over urayuli. Expensive as all hell. Amoeba though... that one's interesting."

*They snatched the amoeba and moved forward*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *a card*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They move to the space*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *A death adder, a cat, a cockroach*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"I've taken the cat before. I think I should give the cockroach time to shine."

*They took the insect*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: it's like you an anoying pest.
0 ups, 10mo
"Your annoyance only makes me more powerful."

*Loaz snickers*

"And, just like this guy, it's not like killing me will get rid of me."

*They move to the next space*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: that a secret also your tooth is back so your dentist is going to be happy.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"It- It is?"

*So it was.*

"I uh... so it's just gonna be the same thing as last time then? Just play until I get hit with eight bears and die?"
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: it might not happen this time.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"What, so I just play like a snail then? Stall out so I don't get mauled? Where are my cards? Let's go, pal."

*They looked around for their deck, grinning as they found and grabbed the cards.*

"You are in for it now..?"

*The deck had been reset back to the default stoat, wolf x2, snapper.*

"Where'd my god cards go?"
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: oh yeah I reset your deck.
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
"Dang it! Fine. FINE! Fine. I can deal with that. Take two. Let's go."

*Squirrel, stoat, wolf, snapper*

"Gonna have to get the stinkbug outta the box again."

*They muttered under their breath*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: *smiling*
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
*They lay out the squirrel -> Stoat default and ring the bell*

"Let take two begin."
0 ups, 10mo,
1 reply
???: mhm. *I plan to place a coyote next turn*
0 ups, 10mo
*They take a squirrel, sacrifice it and the stoat and frown a bit when the latter actually dies, and play the wolf. They ring the bell*
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    BTW YOU ARE IN A CHAIR BUT NOT TIED UP; YOU WAKE UP IN A CABIN AND SEE HIM WDYD?