WD: What the hell?

You are hanging from the upside down seat

WD: f**king towing company...
*He unbuckles himself.*

A helicopter crashes into a gas truck

*He crawls out from the window.*

There is fire and wrecked cars everywhere on the highway. You hear gunfire and explosions in the distance

*WD checks himself for his revolver.*

it is there

WD: Alright, let the blood spill.

A U.S. Army Tank passes by

*He jumps up and immediately uses the tank to propel himself forward faster by jumping off it as soon as his left foot makes contact with it.*
WD: Gotta get that Parkour strat in somehow.

Soldier: The hell?

WD: Sorry!
*He keeps running through the wreckage and battles.

Nevada_Man: * Grabs WD by the head and stopping him * What are you doing?

WD: Getting out of the situation, what's it look like to you Davey?

Nevada_Man: Not ant option * Throws WD back to the crashed car *

*WD gets downed.*
WD: Son of a bitch!

Nevada_Man: * Throws him a medkit *

*WD uses a Stim shot to get back up.*

A Ford Crown Victoria pulls up

WD: Hey, who are you?

A man gets out of the car

Chris: Chris

WD: Do I know you?

Chris: I don't know. * Has 2 Uzis in his holsters *

WD: Either way, what the f**k is going on here?!?!

Chris: War

WD: Against what?

You wanna go the reasonable route, or the " f**ked up thoughts in my brain I have like in 2 in the morning " route?

(Coin flip?)

Fine, I'll flip it, Heads: 1st choice. Tails: 2nd choice.

(Flip that coin, flip that coin!)

You won't believe what it landed on

(Tails?)

y e s

WD: So?

Tyler: Chris, we gotta get the f**k out of here, who knows what will happen if we stay here.

Chris: I'm talking to a guy right now.

Tyler: If we stay, we most likely won't be guys anymore.

WD: Relax, I'm armed with a revolver, what the f**k is going on anyways?

Chris: A war against TF.

Tyler: Get in the car, we will explain on the way out. * Tosses WD a Kriss Vector. *

WD:.. I'm not taking this. And what the f**k is a TF?

Tyler grabs WD and puts him in the car, Tyler also gets in and Chris hits the gas.

Tyler: Okay, I have a lot of f**king shit to explain, get ready to learn about " Deviantart f**kery shit 101. "

WD: ... The f**k is Deviantart?

Chris: You livin under a rock?

WD: No, I'm more frequent in Reddit and YouTube.

Tyler: Okay, so basically deviantart is full of perverted retards and full of fe-

Chris: Get to the damn point about what is going on Tyler!

Tyler: Fine fine fine, boys are randomly turning into girls

i told you it was my f**ked up thoughts in my brain I have like in 2 in the morning

WD: ... Who's up for Russian Roulette?
*He sounds excited about this.*
WD: If the gun goes off, you don't have to go through this hell.

Tyler: We could still get the f**k out of here.

Chris: I'm on it!

WD: And go where? No matter where we go, they'll find out where we are. I know this one guy who basically had to go through something like this except the thing only affected women and it only was every November. He went off the grid and it didn't take long for them to find him and his group, so this will save us the trouble..

Smoke starts pouring on the highway

Chris: The f**k?

Smoke then engulfs the car.

WD, putting on a construction respirator: this ain't good.

Smoke does not enter the car. But then, the car shakes, something is on top of it. Tyler and Chris have P100 masks on.

Chris: What the f**k is that . . . .

WD: Checking.
*He fires once at the roof.*

Chris: You bloody idiot

Smoke enters the car

Smoke, more like very dense fog

*WD tries to bail out of the car.*

wouldn't suggest that

WD: Oh, right, I've got a respirator on, I'm immune.

or are you

The fog clears, Tyler is gone.

Chris: Tyler? Tyler? TYLER!!!

Chris steps on the gas

WD: Shit! Man down! You should've taken the offer.

Chris: We are out of the city limits, be glad it is still day.

WD: Yeah, but remember: we're gonna get found out eventually.

A military convoy passes by.

Chris: If they don't control this soon

WD: You understand this is a part of every infection, right?

Chris: Yes, but with pervertness mixed in

WD: Oh boy, you don't quit wanna know what my friend has to deal with...

Chris: Who is this " friend "

WD: Its a long story, but we got a lot of time...
[7 hours later...]
WD: ...And now he's retired and in college under that firearm mandate in him.

Wait no, we got something going on

2 minutes in the story, an ambush attacks the convoy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1XkiMulCA0

*WD keeps going on with the story.*

Chris: Are you serious, a damn ambush is happening right now and you are still talking

WD: They're focus is on the military operatives, not dragging their attention to us.

A infected breaks the back window and grabs WD's head

WD: Get off.
*WD casually slits the infected's neck with his Karambit knife.*

The neck was made of metal

Josh: God I hate f**king tank girls

Josh fires his 870 shotgun at the tank girl, kicks it and fires again

WD: Get it off, get it off getting it off.
*WD casually draws his revolver and fires at the tank girl.*

Josh lands a head shot, and kills it.

Josh: I wanna know who though of this and shoot them

Josh searches it, and finds a piece of paper of a digital drawing of the tank girl.

Josh: PanzerShanzer . . . * Pulls out a phone * Dang it, he is from the Philippines. This thing was an M1 Abrams . . . so that's why one was missing from the warehouse . . .

Chris: W H A T

WD: Josh... I see you're still Mr. Everywhere still...

Chris: Wait Josh, what did you say?

Josh: That the tank girl is why one tank was missing from the warehouse . . .

Chris: So are you telling me, objects can become girls, is that right.

Josh: Uhhhhhhhhh . . . . we are f**ked

WD: Russian Roulette?

Chris: I'll think about it

you need to stay alive for this

WD: Josh?

Josh: I have a country to defend

WD: ... God you guys suck...

h

Josh: Oh please . . . now let me just get to my humve-

insert humvee girl i guess

Josh: b r u h

WD: Get in.

Josh: I got soldier to command

Humvee Girl: hi

Josh: SHUT THE F**K UP AND GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH

WD: Alright then, have fun with transformation. Chris, go go go!

Josh: Oh god

Humvee Girl: here is sandwich

Josh: DA FUK * insert missipi queen *

WD: Chris! Floor it!

Chris: * Floors it *

WD: Good luck Josh!
*WD ducks back down in the car.*
WD: Now, where was I in my story...

Chris swerves to avoid a broken FEMA truck

*WD falls to the other side of the car backseat.*

Nevada_Man: My thoughts are crazy sometimes

Chris: Really? . . . WAIT, WHO THE F**K

Nevada_Man: Don't worry

Chris: Did you like . . . f**king cause this

Nevada_Man: Maybe

Chris: What do you mean maybe it is a yes or no question!

WD: He did. It was settled in a coin flip...

Nevada_Man: How do you know that

Chris: What coin flip?!?!

WD: Forth Wall, just because someone says something in parentheses, doesn't mean I can't hear it.

Nevada_Man: Ohhh . . . uhhhhhhh. Okay

Chris: You like a god or somethin?

Nevada_Man: Pretty much.

WD: Yeah, he is.

Nevada_Man: Say something you want

Chris: To get the f**k out of here

Nevada_Man: Okay, also watch out for that wall

Chris: What wa- HOLY

Chris slams on the brakes, almost hitting a wall

*WD gets flung to the front seat.*

Nevada_Man: Wear your seatbelt

WD: Sorry, just trying to survive.

Nevada_Man: You won't doing that

WD: Why won't I be doing that?

Nevada_Man was gone

Chris: Where the hell are we?

WD: I don't know, maybe Arizona, Saskatchewan, hell, if we're in a completely different universe, I wouldn't be surprised.

New york citys hillbilly starts stealing the tires.

Chris: HEY

*WD fires at the hillbillies.*
WD: WE'RE IN F**KING DETROIT! GOD F**K!

Chris: That is a new york city hillbilly sir, I can tell

WD: COME ON! GET THEM!
*WD Fires at the hillbillies again.*

Chris fires at the hillbilles

WD: If you're gonna carjack, do it properly!
*WD kills the last hillbilly.*

Chris: At least we are far from the conflict . . .

WD: For now, at least...

Chris: . . .

WD: What?

Chris: Nothing

WD: So what's with the silence?

Chris: Just thinking

WD: About what?

Chris: Why you pokin in my business?

WD: Oh I don't know, maybe its because we're going to be hunted down by women soon and we have zero plans, maybe?

Chris: Fair, but we got like a god on our side . . . I think

WD: And we don't, we're f**ked.

Chris . . .

WD: Pondering the fact we're f**ked?

Chris: Yeah.

Chris backs out onto the empty street and turns on the radio

WD: You mid if I play my Spotify!

Chris: You drivin?

WD: I don't know, but our tires are not on the car.

Chris: what

WD: The hillbillies. Duh.

Chris retrieves the tires and put them back on

Chris: As I was saying

WD: Go on...

Chris: barbeque bacon burger

WD: Large order of fries.

Chris: Orange soda with no ice

WD: And a piece of hot apple P I E.

Chris: god D A M N i miss burger tank

WD: That was a good chuckle session, back to the task at hand.

Chris: Yea . . . so we got to- WHOA

Chris slams the brakes

*WD gets flung out of the backseat again.*
WD: DUDE!

Chris: Sorry

He stopped to avoid t-boning a park police car, there was a road block

Chris got out of the car and approached an officer

Chris: Sir . . . what is going on here?

*WD gets back in the backseat and finally buckles up.*

Chris gets back in the car

Chris: We are doomed

WD: Called it. I f**king knew it.

A different cop car explodes, Chris goes in reverse

Chris: I thought we were safe!

WD: I f**king told you! I told you were f**ked!

Chris does a 180.

Chris: I get it!

WD: But what is it exactly?

Chris: What do you mean?

WD: What did that cop say?

Chris: They were like making sure nobody touched this . . . thing that crashed into the middle of the street

WD: Weeelllllllll, that didn't work out, now did it?

Chris: Yea

WD: So, what's the plan now?

Chris: L e av ve

WD: And then what?

Chris: Survive

WD: And that's it?

Chris: What else am I f**king suppose to do, it's not this is a damn small virus!

WD: There's still Russian Roulette...

Chris: Ehhhhhhhhhhhh

WD: What?

Chris: let

WD: Let?

Chris: nothin

WD: Nothing? Is this some sort of code?

Chris: no

WD: Anyways, where was I on my story?

Chris: forgot

WD: Oh, right...
[6 hours and 58 minutes later.]
WD: ... And the last I heard, he's off to college with a firearm mandate. He's supposed to carry it everywhere now.

Chris: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

WD: Chris?
*WD watches as the car slowly drives off the road.*

zzzzzzzzzzz

WD: Oh shit...
*He bails as the car drives off the road and down below.*

Chris wakes up and leaves as well

*But the car had wrecked.*
WD: Go***amn... That's the last time I carpool with someone tired...

Chris: ngl, the story was boring

WD: He had to deal with extremely-
*He gets cut off by a distant helicopter.*
WD: oh shit.

Chris: Lets hope it an actual helicopter

*Its a mercenary Apache, it gets closer and begins firing, WD ducks out of the way.*
WD: You forgot about the part of Mercenaries.

A nearby SWAT officer blows it to hell

Chris: At least I can still be a man for now

WD: Well, nice of ya to suddenly make an appearance...

Chris: . ..

WD: Not you, you lazy boi, talking to the SWAT unit.

SWAT: hi

WD: Who are you?

Jack: a guy

WD: You got a ride?

Jack: uhhh . . . yes?

WD: Cool, we need one since laze over there slept.

Jack: We are evacuating civilians

WD: Where to?

Jack: I don't know

WD: Chris?

Chris: What?

WD: Just checking, where was your plan of destination?

Chris: Somewhere out of the city

WD: We're already miles away, this is nothing more than a highway.

Chris: o

WD: Come on, we gotta keep going...

Chris: ok

WD: So, what now?

Chris: walk

WD: Go***amn it.

WD: Come on then...
*He is already walking.*

Chris: walks

WD: Did you seriously just say 'walks'?

no

WD: So,you think we're gonna die?

Chris: Possibly

WD: Any evac zones?

Jack: Your already in Columbus.

WD: Don't you have a car you can take?

Chris: Wait, I have a friend who lives here

WD: If we stay in one place too long, we'll be found out faster.

Chris: We aren't being hunted for

WD: Oh really? What about the mercenaries? And if not them, what about the girls we ran from?

Chris: My friend has a great bunker

WD: Is it bulletproof? Blast proof?

Chris: Nuke proof

WD: Don't be so sure.

Chris: It has 10 feet thick walls

WD: So? Doesn't mean we'll be safe.

Chris: Just try

Later

Nathan: Hey Chris

Chris: Code BS.

Nathan: Okay, inside quickly

*WD holsters his Smith & Wesson 500 Bone Collector.*

Nathan directs them to the bunker.

Nathan: Chris . . . who is this man with you?

WD: A Worker Drone, what the f**k's it look like to you?

Nathan: . . .

WD: Who are you?

Nathan: Marine Veteran

WD: Name.

Sgt. Nathan Capri

WD: Capri?

Chris: WD, we got places to be

WD: I know.

In the bunker

WD: Huh, didn't expect this place to be like this.

Chris: Luxury bunker, I know

WD: So. What now?

Chris: We wait this out

WD: Oh, that's just great...

Chris: You either wait this out, or become a girl. It's your choice

WD: Well, just as long as mercenaries with metal sawblades don't tear these doors anew, I hope y'all are ready, this is gonna be really boring.

Nathan: These doors were used in military grade bunkers

WD: So, A saw blade can just rip right through it? Cause I had to use sawblades on military bunker doors before.

Nathan: These can't be cut with sawblades

WD: Sure yeah, and they can't be penetrated by, uhh, oh I don't know, Uzi's railgun?

Nathan: Laser weapons can't touch this bitch, it got self defense weapons as well

WD: That thing ain't a laser, its a weapon capable of creating massive f**king craters in the Earth.

Nathan: They ain't gonna use that damn weapon for just one stupid idiot

WD: You'd be surprised.

Nathan: Really?

Chris: Guys, I got twinkees

WD, to Chris: Oh hell yeah!

Chris: Dig in!

WD: Hell yeah!
{WD can't eat this due to his health being topped off.}

i have never had a twinke.

(What? Dude, you gotta have one, no other reason Tallahassee from Zombieland he became violent to zombies.)

XD

(Seriously, get one and then come back.)

Chris would turn on the TV

*EAS alerts about the fictional creature called 'women.'*

Chris: * Turns off TV *

WD, holding a cup of coffee: heh, women.

Chris: agreed

WD: You think we're safe here?

Nathan: Yes, one time there was this gang of good for nothin gangsters trying to break down the bunker door, they couldn't even put a dent in it!

WD: But these are literal take women, they could rip these doors right off...

Nathan: * Sips a soda * I got good hiding spots around the bunker if that does happen

WD: They could have infrared.

Chris: Sir, stop being so paranoid.

WD: I know.

Chris: Relax, we gotta wait this out

4 days later

Chris: Checkmate

Nathan: Dang

The bunker got 5 floors to it

*WD is on Discord.*

Nathan: * Eats a salad *

WD: So, yeah, we've been down here for 96 hours.
Camera Man: Youch, that sucks. I just got pushed down with the president.

L

WD: Hang ten buddy.

Nathan: I wonder what is goin on outside

WD: Eh, national lockdown.

Nathan: I wonder what it must be like up there.

Chris: Hold up, I'm gettin a call

Chris answers his phone.

Chris: Hey Leo.

WD: probably hell.

Chris: . . . . yea i'm safe for now . . . . got it

WD: you ever wonder why you dream?

Chris: what

WD: Just a thought.

Chris: huh

WD: Yup.

Chris: . . .

WD: What?

silence fills the room