This is my contractual obligation

give

Identity theft: you have the ability to make fake disguises if real people, but you make the shitty spirit Halloween costume looking things.

this could work

If you swallow 3 Pesos, you walk 23% faster. Stackable

I can crash the Mexican economy and go faster than the speed of light
Nice

You have the power of AIDS. That’s it. You just have AIDS

K

You manifest a gun whenever you joke about killing yourself.

"istg ima kms"

[BREAKING NEWS: 37 dead in a school shooting]

Lmao

You become 4% stronger when digesting garlic. Stackable

You can turn water to marinara sauce.

I want to be able to turn into my persona whenever I want /j

Whenever you sneeze, one person loses their car keys

Silly

Q

When you stub your toe, you become magnetic for 30 seconds

Tf 💀

Ok

Whenever you tell some to kill themselves, lightning strikes

Where tho

within earshot

Like where in the world

within earshot

So it'll be next to their ear?

Like you’ll be able to hear and see it.

K

Seg

Every time you get rejected, one other person does as well. (martyrdom)

☹️

Wait you are Pochita right? If you aren’t I apologize

I am
You mean

At least I wasn’t rejected at the mall