Onan: Thank you. Thank you very much.
*cheering and someone yelping in the audience*
Looks like we got some small dogs in our audience tonight. *imitates the sound*
*audience laughs*
So, welcome to our big Tuesday show. Feels like a Wednesday to me for some reason, not sure if that's a good thing or not. It's a low quality show, shown through images of Conan monologues from 20 years ago, and horrible writing by ChatGPT and SpaceFanatic, but hey, if you don't enjoy the show by now, why are you still here?
*audience laughs*
And Ricky, my man. Good to see you.
Ricky: I think we have a good show tonight.
Onan: That's my line, bud.
*laughter*
Anywho, we've got a lot to talk about in the monologue tonight. First of all, the wedding! How could we forget?
*murmuring in the audience*
Yep. Me and Ricky, we're getting married.
*audience laughter. Ricky flirts with Onan*
Okay, that was just creepy.
*laughter*
Well, of course we can't ignore the big story. Del's face reveal. True, true indeed, she revealed her face for the first time since 2020.
*cheers*
Like she thought this would help her lose all of her simps.
*laughter*
Like, really, why? Why would you do that? What's the point? Surely, you'd expect that to happen, right?
*laughter*
Let's see, what else... Oh, I know. The Dawn controversy. We have the good ol' Jews-tery Twins, Dawn and Elizabeth, back again to spread their... I don't even know... kosher peanut butter of ideas?
*mild laughter*
Yeah. No idea there. But, as we all know, mods keep trying to ban them, and goody-two-shoes Del and her half-face keep on preventing it. Now, I'm not gonna take the side of the moderators. I'm not going to take the side of Dawn or Elizabeth, or even Del. I just think the whole thing is stupid. Much like Dawn and Elizabeth.
*laughter*
Okay, we got a great show tonight, actor Klon Jeese is here, and Patrick Star is here!
*cheers*
Stay tuned, we'll be right back!
*commerical break*
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