'Cause we dope as f**k and only get a 2 in The Source
Hypochondriac, hanging out at the laundromat
Where all the raunchy fat white trashy blondes be at
Dressed like a sailor, standin' by a pail of garbage
It's almost dark and I'm still tryna nail a trailer park bitch
I met a s**t and said "What up? It's nice to meet ya"
"I'd like to treat you to a Faygo and a slice of pizza"
"But I'm broke as f**k and I don't get paid till the first of next month"
"But if you would care to join me, I was about to roll this next blunt"
"But I ain't got no weed, no Phillies, or no papers"
"Plus I'm a rapist and a repeated prison escapist"
"So give me all your money and don't try nothing funny"
"'Cause you know your stinking ass is too fat to try to outrun me"
I went to grab my gun, that's when her ass put it on me
With an uppercut and hit me with a basket of laundry
I fell through the glass doors, started causing a scene
Slid across the floor and flew right into a washing machine
Jumped up with a broken back
Thank God I was smokin' crack all day and doped up on coke and smack
All I wanted to do was rape the bitch and snatch her purse
Now I wanna kill her
But yo, I gotta catch her first
Ran through Rally's parkin' lot and took a shortcut
Saw the house she ran up in and shot her f**kin' porch up
Kicked the door down to murder this divorced s**t
Looked around the room that's when I seen her bedroom door shut
I know you're in there bitch, I got my gun cocked
You might as well come out now, she said "Come in, it's unlocked"
I walked in and all I smelled was Liz Claiborne
And seen her spread across the bed naked watchin' gay porn
She said "Come here big boy, let's get acquainted"
I turned around to run, twisted my ankle and sprained it
She came at me at full speed, nothing could stop her
I shot her five times and every bullet bounced off her
I started to beg "No, please let go"
But she swallowed my f**kin' leg whole like an egg roll
With one leg left, now I'm hoppin' around crippled
I grabbed my pocket knife and sliced off her right nipple
Just tryna buy me some time then I remembered this magic trick
Duh-dah-duh-dah-duh-duh!
Go-go gadget dick!
Whipped that shit out, and ain't no doubt about it
It hit the ground and caused an earthquake and power outage
I shouted "Now bitch, let's see who gets the best"
Stuffed that shit in crooked and f**ked that fat s**t to death
"Come here, bitch!"
"Come here! Take this mothaf**kin' dick, bitch!"
"Come here!"
