IMAGE DESCRIPTION:
My friend, you have met a terrible, terrible demise. But
you know I don’t feel to bad about it. After all, if it
weren’t from me, it would have just been from someone
else, ya know? I guess what I’m trying to say life, life
goes on. W- well, for everyone else, life goes on not for
you, you’re dead. That’s neither here nor there. That
reminds me of one summer day in the park, I was
having a delightful picnic with my good friend Orville.
And I said to him, I said “Orville, I-I have a story” And
he said to me “What’s the significance of the story?” I
said to him “Orville, not every story has to have
significance, ya know?" Sometimes uhh, sometimes a
story is just a story. You try to read into every little thing
and find meaning in everything anyone says, you’ll just
drive yourself crazy. Had a friend do it once, wasn’t
pretty, we talked about it for years. And not only that,
you’ll likely end up believe something you shouldn’t
believe or thinking something you shouldn’t think o-o-or
assuming something you shouldn’t assume, ya know?
Sometimes I said a story is just a story, so just be quiet
for one second here life and eat your sandwich, okay?
Of course, it was only then I realized i made
sandwiches and poor Orville was having such difficulty
eating it! Elephants have those clumsy hands, ya
know? Actually, I suppose that’s the problem, they don’t
have hands at all, they’re all feet. I couldn’t imagine
someone asking me to eat a sandwich with my feet.
Now, if I recall correctly there was a bakery nearby, I
said to him “Orville, let me go get you some rye bread.”
Now, I’m unsure elephants enjoy rye bread, but, I
assure you that Orville does. Now this was on a
Tuesday which was good because rye bread was
always fresh on Tuesday. They made sourdough on
Monday and threw it out Wednesday. or rather they
sold it at a discount for people who wanted to feed the
ducks and then probably at the end of the day they
threw it all out. I do remember a man who would bring
his son to the bakery every Wednesday, and go feed
the ducks. He would buy all of the sourdough bread, of
course, you know, you’re not supposed to feed the
ducks sourdough bread at all. It swells up in their
stomach and they all die, at least that’s what I’ve heard.
Ya know I never saw any ducks die myself but I did
notice a substantial decrease in duck population over
the course of a few years. I just never thought to stop
the man and tell him he was killing the ducks by feeding
them sourdough bread. And if you want my opinion on
the matter if you wanna feed ducks or birds or any kind
for that matter, especially buy seed. I mean, when you
think about it, breads of any sort don’t occur in nature,
they don’t grow on trees or spring up from bushes! I
don’t think birds know what to do with bread. What was
I saying? Oh oh yes yes. So I bought Orville some rye
bread. What a fine day it was.