SCP-096 Ballin

Sniper: Boom. Headshot

Sniper: Sniping's a good job mate. Challenging work. Outa doors. I guarantee you'll not go hungry. Because at the end of the day, as long there are two people left on the planet, someone is going to want someone dead.

Sniper: Ooh

Sniper: Dad... I'm a... I'm not a crazed gunman dad, I'm an assassin. Well the difference being ones a job and the other's mental sickness!

Sniper: I'll be honest with you, my parents, do not care for it.

Sniper: I think his mate saw me.

Sniper: Yes, yes he did.

Sniper: Feelings? Look mate, you know who has a lot of feelings? Blokes who bludgeon their wives to death with a gold trophy.

Sniper: Professionals have standards. Be polite. Be efficient. Have a plan to kill everyone you meet.

Edit:

Sniper: Dad.. dad... Put... Put mum on the phone.

Hey look buddy, I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems, not problems like "What is beauty?" Because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems, for instance: how am I going to stop some mean mother Hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous be-hind? The answer, use a gun, and if that don't work... Use more gun. Take for instance this heavy caliber tripod mounted lil' old number designed by me, built by me, and you best hope... Not pointed at you.

Um I-I don't even know where to start with you. I mean, do you know who you're talking to?

*poke poke* Yo what's up?

D-Do you have any idea? Any idea who I am?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Basically, kind of a big deal.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Oh man, that's beautiful, heh.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

You listening? Okay.

Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brotha, I hurt people.

BOINK

I'm a force of nature.

BONK

If you were from where I was from, you'd be f*cking dead.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

WOOOO!

Now we’re dead.

It's art so no

Ok then

Memetic kill agent, I win

Funny patterns

please stop posting scps

k

Do u not like Scp?

crepy

U sure?

CUUUUUTEEE

Scp 999