Onan: Thank you, thank you, everyone! Welcome to the show! Great to be here on a Wednesday night, or Thursday morning I guess. Last week of April. 2023's going by fast, isn't it?
*Sounds of agreement from the audience*
Onan: Man, it seems like only yesterday I was drinking myself to death on New Year's, am I right?
*Laughter*
Onan: But hey, it's almost May now, and you know what they say: April showers bring May flowers. Now the question is: What showers are they talking about?
*He raises an eyebrow. Laughter*
Onan: But seriously, folks, it's actually been a pretty good day for me. Lay Jeno, his new show's doing great, apparently. He's now at half our ratings. Yeah.
*Mixture of reactions in the audience*
Onan: Come on guys, let's show some sportsmanship!
*Audience applauds*
Onan: *chuckles* That's so depressing. I have to tell you all when to applaud my colleagues.
*Laughter*
Onan: Well, we got a great show tonight! Actor Vinyl McCrackle from the new film releasing this Saturday is on after the break. Stay tuned!
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