I was going to just say that I have an irrational fear of weeds, not all plants just specifically weeds (no that doesn't include grass an dandelions)
But man that's deep, I totally get where all that stress comes from, I share some of those fears too, I constantly worry about what people do when I'm not there, that's why I like to distract myself with little things whenever I find time. Distract myself from the existential questions of what happens after death, and what will happen in my future, or just what may happen the next day, regardless I always try to live in the present and focus on the small things that i love doing. Hope that is some good advice for ya. And good luck with your work, I've got IRL friends too now but I still make plenty of time fr being online, maybe I'm just lucky but, hope to see you online more, try not to let the future stress you out much, and I for one would hardly forget about you despite my terrible ability to memorize.