Onan: Thank you, thank you all. Great to be here on a Friday night. Hope you all have some fun weekend plans.
So, the ESA has launched a new probe called JUICE that is going to Jupiter in 2031 for a 3 year mission. Wow, 10 years to get there, 3 years of work, and then 10 years to get back. Talk about a long distance relationship.
*Audience chuckles*
I mean really, JUICE is acting like Jupiter's dad if he won the lottery, you know! Jupiter must be transgender.
*Audience laughter*
Onan: In other news, there was some chaos in northern Alumphia earlier this week. Apparently, a strange yellow triangle entity they're calling "Bill" was fighting a giant worm over a town in the area. Now, this sounds like something straight out of a sci-fi movie, but it's mostly believed to be a hoax. But, ah, no, this was totally real. In fact, we have some exclusive Late Night footage of the event right here. Let's take a look.
*Onan shows a ridiculous video of a toy worm fighting a Lego yellow triangle*
Onan: Pretty weird, right? Some are even calling it "Weirdmageddon." You know, I think the town... it was over, Ricky, what was it again?
Ricky: Gravity Falls, I believe.
Onan: Gravity Falls, right. Hey... I think I've had some guests from around there. Wasn't that where we did that Valentine's Day show? With that girl?
Ricky: Yeah, I think so.
Onan: Oh. Hey, shout out to you, Ms. Pines, if you're watching. It's past midnight, though, so, you know. Eh... it is a Friday. What am I saying? Back to the point. Weird fight between a worm and a triangle.
*Audience laughter*
Onan: *chuckles* That would look so wrong out of context, wouldn't it? But hey, at least it's better than another report on the stock market, am I right?
Audience cheers
Onan: Stick around, folks, because after the break, we have an interview with a famous musician that I'm sure you're all excited to see. We'll be right back!
Caption this Meme
