Milk but he's a mask-wearing wolf (Thanks Wallhammer

Hits the griddy

Own a Lasgun for home defence, since that's what the God emperor intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What in the warp ?" As I grab my devotional icon and Kantrael pattern M36 Lasrifle. Blow a golf ball-sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my Laspistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's full-auto and nails the neighbour's cyber mastiff. I have to resort to the Lascannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with overclocked packs, "for the emperor" the las beam evaporates two men in the blast, the sound and extra Las fire set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the provosts to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the God emperor intended

I'd buy an RPG to defend myself against the horde of beings

Uh

That would be

Slightly harmful to your house