:)

:00000

"Awh, so hopeful!"

*More head pats*

"It is okay for trash like me to touch you, right..?"

Mhm!

"How wonderful! I don't deserve to touch someone with such hope, truly!"

But...you do!

"W-what do you mean..?"

[I took a pause in my words..]

Um....

I um...don't actually....know-

"Oh-"

*Keeps head patting*

"Do you want anything? I am also a servant for Monaca and Kamakura!"

Nah, I'm fine

"O-okay then! Hm... I wonder-"

About...what..?

"How my fr- *ahem* classmates are doing. I mean, after Chiaki died, they fell into despair, then Junko died and Fuyuhiko took her eye, I took her arm *lifts up left arm that's covered*, and Mikan took- her- uterus- for- reasons- *AhEm-*"

Hmm...

[After about a while later...]

"So, you can tell me when you want me to stop-"

*More head pats*

"Trash like me doesn't deserve to touch someone with so much hope!"

:OOOOO

(Yeahhh- *Sobs-*)

"Ohh- Wait- I think I know now- Maybe-"

"?"

"Were you trying to hug someone as worthless as me?"

Your not worthless :[

But yes I was trying to hug you :]

"Oh-"

*He held out his arms*

*scoops him up into a hug*

Yay, hugs :]]]]]

"!"

*He didn't expect that-*

^^

"Thank you..."

Your welcome ^^

*More headpats*

.O.

[Headpats]

"!"

*He paused for a moment*

"Oh! Trash like me doesn't deserve to be patted by an ultimate..."

No >:[

Never say you are trash >:/

Cause you are not ^v^

[More headpats]

"I- How hopeful! :]"

:]]

"Do you want anything? I am also a servant for Monaca and Kamakura! And... A bunch of kids... And Junko..."

*opens arms for a hug*

"Hm?"

(He doesn't remember what a hug is, last time he had a hug, it was on the plane- Like I said, terrorists killed his parents on the plane. So he's afraid of planes, even the sound.)

Uh- nevermind. *lowers arms*

(Oh- that's sad as f**k- excuse me while I go cry for him-)

"^^"

(　＾▽＾)

"So..."

?

Hm... I wonder...

Hm-?

"I just wonder hor the ultimates are doing."

*HEAD PATS*

Umm..-
Why'd you come here of all places?
I thought I hid myself from the world well enough..
*gestures to the surrounding corn fields*

" . . . "

*Holy f**k look in the sky, it's a plane! Oh wait-*

*I plug the bean's ears and cover his eyes*
Alright alright- umm..

":("

Shh... there's nothing around, it's all fine.. wander to your happy place.

"My happy place is Hajime- I meannnn-"

Well at least you have a happy place..

" y e a h - Oo wait no KAMAKURA- "

Umm-umm-umm-
...hush little baibee, don't say a word.. stranger's gonna buy you a double-edged sword...

" w h a t "

Umm-I dunno, idk how to comfort people... s-sorry... just, ignore it all, clear your thoughts.. it's almost over..

"Ohhhhh-"

(Terrorists killed his parents on the plane when he was like- 6- So he's afraid of planes, even the sound.)

*plane sounds*

(/j)

Kiibo: ! Sorry, sorry !

“you guys like, threatened me….”

Kiibo: HEY, HEY, THAT WAS THEM!

Kokichi: *GASP*

Togami: Toaster, fire at that.

Kiibo: I- That was robophobic-

Kokichi: n o w .

*scared vampire noises*

“IT WAS ONLY A JOKE—“

Togami: Even Teruteru can make a better joke.

Kokichi: Damn-

“… i know… i’m bad at making jokes and deserve to be unfunny…”

Kokichi: Look at my toaster :)

Kiibo: I'M NOT A TOASTER- Wait did you say YOUR toaster-

(I ship Kiibouma :])

“… i thought you were going to kill me… *sob, sob…*”

Kiibo: N-no- Well- They would-

*Yoine is sobbing.*

*He ran into the closet and hid*

*Why would you do that?*

oh no-

OH NO, KID-

I WAS JOKING-

*He is now sobbing aggressively. Count your seconds, Togami and Kokichi are coming after you.*

oh god…

this is my first time regretting a joke…

uhm…

*Yoine hid in a corner and covered himself in a blanket and stops breathing.*

*The door busts open*

*…*

Kokichi: WHO THE F**K MADE THAT JOKE-

Togami: It was quite foolish of you.

Kokichi: I GOT A F**KING ROBOT FRIEND THAT HAS GUNS

Kiibo: Uhmmm-

Kokichi: HE'S A F**KING MICROWAVE WITH GUNS!

*Yoine is shaking.*

Well anyways...
Thank you for donating your time to a worthless creature..

"No, no, I should thank you!"

How so?..
...I have too much free time, you know..

"Well, I don't have enough..."

Oh.. um.. then why would you waste your time with me when you could find somebody that wasn't a nobody..? Just curious, I dint wanna be r-rude..

"Uhmmm- I'm trash, and your an ultimate! I do what everyone wants me to! After all, trash like me was forced to be a servant."

I'm pretty sure I'm not, though?
What am I?
...p-please don't say an idiot sandwich..

"I Ultimate sandwich."

...nahh.. how can I be something that I don't know the definition of?..

" O k a y . . . . "

*plane is gone*
...alright, youre good now, mmk?
I... I can't believe I just.. m-made contact with someone..

"?"

...I can't stand being around people usually.. s-sorry to mention now..

" Oh- "

...I dunno why I was able to take your pats...

"Do you want more pats..?"

..I m-mean.. I don't not want them..

"Okay-"

"Oh-"

*Shrug*

...in case you didn't realize, I'm not a people person.. hehe.. so.. is there something I should say or..

"Hmm- Well, trash like me shouldn't be talking to Ultimates anyway..."

...I'm sorry sir?
You found me in the middle of nowhere. I don't do anything.. I can't do anything. Can't even rhyme. So, you're good to talk to me, I don't really have a preference..

"Oh, I don't deserve to be called 'sir'!"

I probably don't even deserve your company... thanks for uhh, visiting..

"Oh- I thought trash like don't deserve YOUR company-..."

..if you're trash, then I'm a landfill...

"W-what-"

Meaning, I'm trash compared to you..
I mean... come on. My mother would probably pay someone to adopt meh-