The afternoon show with Hecate. Today's topic: I dunno!

of what

The Afternoon show with Hecate!

*Intro music plays, with a view of msmg. It closes in on the top floor of a tower in the ocean*

Mr guy: Hello fellow retards! today, we are talking about *Flips cards* I don't know!

Hecate: Yup! My ADHD is flowing strong today, so expect this to not have much focus!

Mr guy: So, what do you want to talk about first?

Hecate: Well, first I wanna talk about Wii Fit Plus. Amazing game. Or exercise program. Or tech dem- I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT IT IS!

Hecate: Anyways, I spent a long while cycling on Wuhu Island. Man, what an amazing place. I wanna live in Wuhu Island. I would energetically run all around it and meet the Miis. It's so cool

Mr guy: Is this today's sponsor?

Hecate: Nope! Just really like it.

Mr guy: uh-huh, say, speaking of the sponsor, let's talk about today's sponsor, We-

Hecate: NONONONONO, save the sponsor until the end! we don't wanna drive away our own viewers!

*Audience laugh*

Hecate: Right, Right, that was a joke...

Anyways! Cycling on Wuhu island is so fun. Especially with your cat Mii following around. They really went all out with making fitness fun for us people with the attention span of a goldfish. Unlike a certain other fitness program I could mention...

Mr guy: You mean the Fitnessgr-

Hecate: DON'T SAY IT! But yes, the... Fitnessgr.

Mr guy: I can't tell if that was some reference or not

Hecate: Could be. I dunno.

Anyway, let's read our daily message!

Mr guy: Okay, this one is from Bombhands...

Mr guy: It reads: I SEXUALLY IDENTIFY AS A GABE NEWELL. EVER SINCE I WAS A BOY I DREAMED OF FILLING MY WALLET BY DROPPING STEAM-

Hecate: Oh right! I didn't plan a daily message! We just have to read whatever that is!

*Laugh track plays*

Hecate: Also, uhhhhh, ummmmmmm, i dunno

Mr guy: Uh-huh. So anyways, any wise words, Hecate?

Hecate: F**k BoO. It is the pinnacle of absolute shit writing. The characters went from beautifully written 3 dimensional people with motives and stories in the last book, to flat characters with no arc whatsoever. The most interesting part of the book is barely enough to keep me from falling asleep. Every single joke falls flat. The book could've been as great as any book before it, but it ended up making me rather die instead.

Mr guy: Oooooookay... some pretty strong opinions there... Well, we will get back to you after this Ad break!

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*NEXT AD*

Boy 1: Man, my parents want me to get something healthy. It sucks!

Boy 2: I know! all the healthy food tastes bad!

Boy 3: Actually, I know a delicious food that is very healthy!

Boy 1 and 2: What?!?!

Boy 2: But that's impossible!

Boy 1: Yeah!

Boy 3: Not with Glespon yogurt! A very delicious yogurt! one spoonful, and you'll have tasted enough sugar for the day!

Boy 1: But isn't sugar not healthy?

Boy 3: No, but it is healthy because it has a lot of cool stuff in it!

Narrator: Try 5 flavors of Glespon today! Vanilla, Chocolate, Banana, Caramel, and Mint!

*Cuts back to the show*

*Music plays, and the view swoops into the tower*

Hecate: Hey y'all! I've been considering a section where we talk about Msmg. It might give us some more traction.

Mr guy: Sure it would! Research suggests that Msmg is 40% more likely to watch live shows if they're part of the topic!

Hecate: Yeah, yeah, blah blah blah. Anyway, I like Wii Fit plus. speaking of Wii Fit plus, Let's talk about its console's less successful younger brother, the Wii U. The Wii U and 3ds eshops just shut down, and I can see why. They had bad sales, and compared to the generation before and after it, the consoles just weren't that great. Speaking of the generation after, the Switch, I recently started playing Hades. Hades, if you've been living under a gigantic rock, is a rogue-like where you play as an obscure figure in Greek mythology, Zagreus. You climb out of the underworld with upgrades and resources to spend at the hub, The House of Hades. It's pretty good. Not to mention it's actually somewhat accurate to mythology, something most mythology based media won't do for some reason. I rate it a pretty good out of ten.

Mr guy: Pretty cool.

Hecate: Also, Zagreus is an obsure figure in mythology, right? Well, pretty much everyone is. There are a total of around, like, a thousand gods in mythology. But most only care about the 12 main ones, plus Hades. *Sigh* Why can't people preserve art more? Why should I care about preserving some books that say that god is real without any evidence? Why should I care about some guy from two-thousand years ago that said he was a son of god without any evidence? Why did some people decide to use people's religious beliefs as an excuse to extinguish Human Rights? We should preserve art, not some books that create bigots.

Mr guy: I agree. Art should be more preserved.

Hecate: I wish the world wasn't so full of those kinds of people.

Mr guy: Well, that's it for today's episode of the afternoon show! This episode was sponsored by Glespon yogurt! A delicious mix of sugar and proteins! Eat it now!

*Outro music plays, zooming out into a view of Msmg city in a slightly darker tone*