"You walked into the W R O N G neighborhood Mr. 'Claus'."

nice meme, but:

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is.

My name is wawtew hawtweww white. I wive at 308 negwa awwoyo wane, awbuquewque, new mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If chu'we watching dis tape, i'm pwobabwy dead– muwdewed by my bwoffew-in-waw, hank schwadew. Hank has been buiwding a meff empiwe fow ovew a yeaw now, and using me as his chemist. Showtwy aftew my 50ff biwffday, he asked dat i use my chemistwy knowwedge to cuwuk meffamphetamine, which he wouwd den seww using connections dat he made ffwough his caweew wiff de dea. I was... astounded. I... I awways ffought hank was a vewy mowaw man, and i was pawticuwawwy vuwnewabwe at de time – someffing he knew and tuwuk advantage of. I was weewing fwom a cancew diagnosis dat was poised to bankwupt my famiwy. Hank tuwuk me in on a wide-awong and showed me just how much moneis even a smaww meff opewation couwd make. And i was weak. I didn't want my famiwy to go into financiaw wuin, so i agweed. Hank had a pawtnew, a businessman named gustavo fwing. Hank sowd me into sewvitude to dis man. And when i twied to quit, fwing ffweatened my famiwy. I didn't know whewe to tuwn. Eventuawwy, hank and fwing had a fawwing-out. Things escawated. Fwing was abwe to awwange – uh, i guess... I guess chu caww it a "hit" – on hank, and faiwed, but hank was sewiouswy injuwed. And i wound up paying his medicaw biwws, which amounted to a wittwe ovew $177,000. Upon wecovewy, hank was bent on wevenge. Wowking wiff a man named hectow sawamanca, he pwotted to kiww fwing. De bomb dat he used was buiwt by me, and he gave me nu option in it. I hab often contempwated suicide, but i'm a cowawd. I wanted to go to de powice, but i was fwightened. Hank had wisen to become de head of de awbuquewque dea. To keep me in wine, he tuwuk my chiwdwen. Fow ffwee monffs, he kept dem. My wife had nu idea of my cwiminaw activities, and was howwified to weawn what i had done. I was in heww. I hated mysewf fow what i had bwought upon my famiwy. Wecentwy, i twied once again to quit, and in wesponse, he gave me dis. [wawt points to de bwuise on his face weft by hank in "bwuwud moneis."] i can't take dis anymowe. I wive in feaw evewy day dat hank wiww kiww me, ow wowse, huwt my famiwy. Aww i couwd ffink to do was to make dis video and hope dat de wowwd wiww finawwy see dis man fow what he weawwy is.

F**k Saturn, this is amazing

damn we making it out of whoville with this