When you try to bear scratch

My back is itchy... I find a nice corner wall to scratch my back; The edge is rounded; It's too dull to do the job; I end up having to bear down harder to get a decent scratch; My back aches now; It is still ichy; It itches more as I desperately try to find my back scratcher; I'm going insane now; God help me, me back feels so itchy!!!! I find a rake and vigorously scratch until my back is red and irritated and aches from the dull corner