Self checkout is dumb and here's why

When I use self checkout; I go to Walmart and I pick up groceries; I get to the self checkout station and attempt to scan my items; I put in my credit card and hit checkout but the machine declines the transaction; I attempt using Paypal but it says my bank account is empty; I call my bank and they say I don't have any money in my account; I realize all the "paychecks" I received from work were slices of old bologna from the break room fridge; I beg them for money for groceries but they refuse; I attempt to bargain with the store manager for free groceries; They refuse; I trash the self checkout station and I take the groceries anyway