What I do when I get a paper cut

When I get a paper cut... I am flipping threw my book; I feel the edge of the page slice into my delicate flesh; It hurts severely; I can feel all the nerve endings exposed; The air feels like fire now; I run it under some cold water; The water feels like fire too; I try to clean the wound with an alcohol pad and it feels like a drop of lave fell on my finger; I realize I'm out of bandaids; I throw out all my books and my printer in a fit of rage