DAY 68: WHY DO MORMONS OFTEN HAVE LARGE FAMILIES? The Mormon doctrine that teaches followers to have a lot of children is not from the biblical idea that children are a blessing given by God—or how a husband and wife become one. Instead, with all due respect, Mormons are taught that they must hurry and crank out the linoleum lizards (kids) because their Mormon god and his many goddess wives have a bunch of spirit babies in heaven that are waiting to inhabit a human host baby here on earth. And we can imagine Mormon leadership telling followers to get moving so those spirit babies aren’t born into “wicked” households like Pastor Billy’s, or other non-Mormons—like Christians. That’s why they have so many children, and it blends into their other false teaching of multiple wives. Brigham Young said: “This is the reason why the doctrine of [multiple] wives was revealed, that the noble spirits [i.e., spirit babies] which are waiting for tabernacles [i.e., bodies] might be brought forth.” In other words, they don’t have time to stick with just one bride because their god needs them to crank out the kids like an assembly line. Mormonism teaches that it is every Mormon’s duty to have as many children as possible, as a way of donating bodies for their god’s spirit babies. Without Mormonism, those spirits will supposedly never make it back to heaven to be gods themselves. That’s why Mormons typically have large families.