Idk

Jake: *threatens with loli pop* dont you DARE toch MY subway

?-*noms loli pop* No.

Jake: .......... I......will......hurt.........YOU *slaps*

?-*give a mewling yelp, skitters into an alley, and cowers behind a dumpster*

Jake:... looks in the alley* here. throws subway*

?-*snatches the subway* Nom *sammich gone*

Jake: who are you- i feel like ive seen you before-

Jake:who were they?

?- They were great

?-You probably saw one of my family members.

*smacks with sandwich* no.

?- *whimpers and tries to nom*

*3 sandwich style, super smack*

?- nom *one sandwich disappears*

*two more take it’s place* *even more slappage*

?- *whimpers* *gasp* The hydra sandwich!

Nah, I just got a lot of sandwiches. How many you want?

?- I have had to live off Tic Tacs and discarded apple cores for the last two years, so all the sandwiched possible.

*literally gives them like 42 sandwiches*

?- *very size-able nom*

What’s your name?

Mao- My name is Mao

Nice to meet you. I’m Ven

Mao- *walks up and start batting at your leg*

How did you end up here?

Mao- I was born out here

Do you have anywhere else you want to be?

Mao- *leans* warm.

Somewhere warm? I can do that.

Mao- *paws at coat* like in there?

Yeah, like in here.

Mao- *realizes something* Actually…*starts to back away* I don’t know if this is the best idea.

Why?

Liv´s/me:{pulls sandwich above my head} oh hell no

?- *jumps up* nom *sandwich gone*

Liv´s/me:that was the sandwich that was going to hold me till tomorrow evening

?- *frustratedly bops you on the head* I haven’t had a samich in three MONTHS.

Liv´s/me:you should have asked

?- Last time I trusted one of you humans I was thrown in a cage and almost sold as a pet.

Liv´s/me: well i´m sorry about that

?- *bats absentmindedly at your leg* Its not your fault.

Liv´s/me:*giggles*

?- *cocks head* You make weird noises.

Liv´s/me:well your batting at my leg

?- And? I’m a cat.

Liv´s/me:i see

“W-hey! Move!”

?- Gib

“What? Just-cut it out!”

?- *jumps up* nom *sandwich gone*

“H-WHA?! ARGH! WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOOOOU?!”

?- *yowls and skitters away* I’m just hungy!

“What? Your hungry? You could’ve just said so are you serious? I’m a nice guy I can get you something!”

?- I could just eat you… but I suppose sandwiches taste better

“Yeah come on, I can get us both something to eat”

?- *happy cat noises*

“What’s it gonna be?”

?-I’ll take the samich

“Heheh. Oh I can see now. If you were more of a…a kitten, I would call you a cutie but if I did now it would make things pretty awkward. Uuuhh-wh-what type of sandwich?”

?- *playfully bops you* Anything with meat.

“Meat huh? Haha. Okay. So what, a ham sandwich?”

?- I don’t care

“Okay. And um where do you want one from? A fast food place or homemade?”

?- *getting impatient.* I’m a stray cat, I dont care!

“…you wanna come to my house after this? I’ll just go get you a sandwich from a subway”

?- The last time I was in a. Human’s house it didnt end well

“Why what happened?”

?- last time, humans kidnapped me and tried to make me their pet

“What-really? Who?”

?- they were a real piece of work

“Did they hurt you?”

?- Kind of

“L-…like they hit you?”

?- They muzzled me, and they stuck me in a trunk.

“That’s horrible!”

?- You’re telling me

“I would never. I mean, how could I?”

But how could I know that?

“Good point. Hmmmm…”

?- what?

“I don’t have a criminal record. I swear”

Mao- I don’t smell any blood on you.

“Exactly. You know how bad jail is?”

Mao- I know what its like to be locked up and muzzled.

“That’s nothing compared to jail. It’s a hellhole in that place. Luckily I’ve never been there and don’t plan on going anytime soon. Back home though, it’s safe”

Mao- can I leave whenever i want?

“Wh-d-of course you can! Your a cat!”

Mao- You better not lock the way out.

“P-hah! Hahahahahaha! Lock the way out? Are you kidding me? Heheh. “Lock the way out” yeah like I would wanna do that. Well, only at night”

Mao- even at night.

“Oh um. I don’t-I don’t know if I can do at night. How am I gonna be safe?”

Mao-*flicks out claws* you don't have to worry.

“But you’ll leave sometimes, no?”

Mao- Yeppers

“Can I at least lock it when you leave? I just wanna feel safe all the time”

Yep

“Oh. Okay that’s fine. Just don’t leave at like 3 am. I’m going to be too tired to get up and walk all the way to the door to lock it just so you can come back and assault my door with your claws for me to unlock it”

Mao- No promises. Just leave a window on the roof open, I can manage.

“You sure?”

Mao- I’m a cat.

“Makes sense”

Mao- very

“Hehehahaha!”

Mao- why are you making wierd noises?

“Oh, just laughing”

Mao- What is laughing.

“It’s kind of like a noise you make when your happy or tickled. I’m pretty ticklish so…not that hard to make me laugh”

Mao- What is tickle?

“It’s like a tingle you get that makes you…well…laugh”

Mao- Why?

“It has something to do with the receivers. The same pain receivers send the message that your being tickled and it makes you happy instead of hurt. Or, something along those lines”

Mao- Weird humans.

“Uh huh. Weriddd humaaans indeeed. Did you know that some of us actually like to…tooooo…”

Mao- To what?

“Do horrible things to animals for fun. It’s terrible”

Mao- *backs away* why are you telling me this

“To show you how corrupted humans are. All because I’m a human doesn’t mean…Wh- are you. Do y-. You think I’d hurt you?”

I would probably eat you if you tried

“Heheh, nooooo”

Mao- that’s what you think.

“How could you eat me? I’m like 5,7. Yeah yeah I’m short but, c’mon I mean, how would that even work?”

Mao- one bite at a time

“Oh you sound like you done this before”

Mao- you say kindergarten I say buffet

“K-P-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA ARE YOU SERIOUS-? HAHAHAAAAAAHAHA! OH MY GOHOHOHOD! Oh my goodness-HAHAHAHAAAA! Ooooohh! Oh my god……you say kindergarten I say buf-Haha-HAHAHA!”

Mao- *ears flat* loud

“Holy Jesus Christ you are the be-please let me take you home you HAVE to come home with me trust me I am a great person”

Mao- *ears still flat* i don’t know you are still loud

“Sorry sorry. But that was just hilarious. Oh my god”

Mao- You still think I’m joking.

“Heh yeah…w-wait you actually ate an entire kindergarten class?”

Mao- Not entire class

“Soooooo what’s your count?”

Mao- I can’t tell you cause then you would have evidence.

“Well, s-so…if you, have eaten people before, does it take a while? I don’t know what it looks like so I’m not sure”

Mao- all depends on the size

“So like what’s the most amount of weight you’ve had?”

Maybe the oldest was a full grown maybe 27 year old man

“Oh Jesus”

Mao- that is not my name

“What? You thought I-…ooooooooohhhhhh riight right. Speaking of which did we share our names yet?”

My name is Mao

“I’m Alan”

Mao- hello

“Well, hello once again, mayo haahahahahahahahaaa!”

Mao- not MAYO, Mao!

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAAHAHAA! OUUH OH MY GOHOAHAHAHAHAD!”

Mao- *still loud*

“Sorry sorry”

Mao- *mrow* tired

“Your tired?”

Mao- *curls up on your lap* yep

“You wanna nap here or at home?”

Mao- *alseep*

“Awww…you are cute…”

Mao-*rolls over*

I scratch her head gently

Mao-*purring*

“Who da cute lil Mao”

Mao- me

“Aww yes you are. Stay here I’ll go get you your “samich” heheh”

Mao-good

I come back 6 minutes later with a bag

Mao- food?

“Haha you already know”

Mao- i could smell it from here

“Bet you can. Anyway, here take it” I put the bag in front of her

Mao- *Eats bag and food*

“Whu-wow, you were…you were hungry”

Mao- always

“So do I maybe look a bit, less appetizing to you? Heheheheheh”

Mao- I can always eat more. *curls up* but now is the time for napping.

“You don’t wanna come home with me before you start napping?”

Mao-*asleep*